My boy

[Hellylou]

You may have noticed I never shared my little boy's name with you. I think I am ready to share that now. My heart has just been shattered into a million little pieces and I have no hope left. I am never going to feel another baby grow inside me. I never wanted to replace the one I lost, but it would have helped me to move on. Now that has gone. So I felt it was time to share him with you all properly.

I feel so sorry I didn't do the right thing when he was born but every little detail of his perfect face is imprinted on my mind's eye, and engraved on my heart and will be for the rest of my life. I don't think I am ever going to get through this.

Thomas Leslie, my little baby boy, I will miss you forever.

 

[MummyStobe]

That's a lovely name Helen, thank you for sharing it with us.
Fly high Thomas
Thinking about you today hun

 

[amotherslove]

what a gorgeous name i'm so sorry youre having a rough go of things.

 

[mhazzab]

thank you so much for sharing his name with us, it's beautiful . I feel honoured that you have told us about him. If you ever want to talk about him more, we are here, whether on this site or by PM.

I'm so sorry your husband doesn't want to have another child, I am here for you whatever you need, if you ever want to talk. it makes me so sad to hear you so upset .

please dont ever feel guilty about anything that happened when he was born, your little angel Thomas knows how much you love him, and how you would have done anything for him if you could xxxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

What a beautiful name , Helen
Thomas Leslie is precious and I know he is watching over you.
I just want you to know I am here always if you want to talk..
I pray your husband changes his mind. I can feel your pain in this post and it breaks my heart You are a wonderful woman and you deserve all the best..
Little Thomas is watching over you sending love and kisses..
XOXOXXOXOOXOX

 

[babylou]

Dear Hellylou

Thankyou for sharing your baby boys name with us. Thomas Leslie is a lovely name.

I know I am only just getting used to saying Samuels name out loud, it's so hard.

I am sorry that you are feeling so down, and hope that things settle down for you again.

I love your saying on your ticker, 'Always with you, always with me little man', it echoes my feelings precisely.

Hope things get better.

 

[Hellylou]

Thank you I hardly cried in the last month, and even felt like I was getting a little better each day. Yesterday and today it is like I have been reset back to the day I lost him and the pain is unbearable. I cried all day yesterday, from the moment I woke up, to the moment I went to sleep. And today it just keeps hitting me and I cry. It was 2 months to the day yesterday, which may have had something to do with it, but perhaps it's just the reality really sinking in. He's really gone and he's never coming back.

 

[glbell920]

Thomas Leslie is a wonderful name For me it is almost therapeutic to say Gavin's name. Thanks for sharing.

 

[SabrinaKat]

Am glad you felt comfortable enough to share - Thomas Leslie is a lovely name (for Leslie Howard? One of my favourite old-time actors!)

best wishes (and a hug...!)

 

[KamIAm]

Hi Helen...

I noticed and wondered frequently what your lil guys name is... Wow, what a strong blessed name... Thomas... I love it... And I feel extremely honored that you chose to share that with us ....

I also find it theraputic to say Emma...

You are more than allowed to have icky, sad days hon.... It's only been 2 months.. I was still a mess at that time, I do promise with time, you do get through each day a lil less of a mess... It's perfectly normal and natural for how your feeling at the moment... It's OK .. We're here to listen and help in any way we can... You remain in my daily prayers

Thomas.... Fly high lil guy...and try to keep all those girls in line (I'm sure you, Max, Gavin, Ethan and Hayden have your hands full with them...)

Big cuddles and loves sent to you and your mommy ...

 

[Nikki_d72]

Thank you so much for sharing Thomas Leslie with us, what a great name, I'm honoured to know it.

I'm so sorry you are feeling such pain, Helen - I wish I could do something real for you. All I can do is offer you all my love and best wishes and an ear whenever you need it.

It doesn't take much to send me right back to the beginning again, you are going through such a lot just now it's no wonder you are feeling the way you did when you just lost Thomas. I sometimes feel like I'm in a game of snakes and ladders, but I think as time goes on, each time I slip down, it becomes easier to climb back up. I hope you can find a way to get through this and climb back up again, honey. It's so hard, I so feel for you.

Sending you all my love tonight, you're in my thoughts. xxx

 

[SarahJane]

Fly high beautiful Thomas Leslie xxxx

to your mummy xxx

 

[Hellylou]

Thank you so much. I cried every time I logged in and read you all post his name and send love to him. I think this has been a big step forward for me. I think the way I have dealt with all of this has been a little bit at a time, and revealing his name I feel a little more at peace, even though my heart feels like it is never going to mend right now.

I think for the last month I have been in denial, in so many ways. I am very much out of that phase now, and the true force of it has hit, and I really appreciate your support, as always. I think this is where I need it more than ever. These are dark days indeed.

Love you all.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Thank you so much. I cried every time I logged in and read you all post his name and send love to him. I think this has been a big step forward for me. I think the way I have dealt with all of this has been a little bit at a time, and revealing his name I feel a little more at peace, even though my heart feels like it is never going to mend right now.

I think for the last month I have been in denial, in so many ways. I am very much out of that phase now, and the true force of it has hit, and I really appreciate your support, as always. I think this is where I need it more than ever. These are dark days indeed.

Love you all.

We love you too, always..OXOXOOXOOX I don't ever want you to be sad... XOXO

 

[MummyStobe]

I second what Andrea has said.

We're always here for you hun, whenever you need us.

Sending lots of love and hugs xxx

 

[Vickieh1981]

What a lovely name. Fly high Thomas!!!

I am sorry your husband is saying no more. Do you think that it is just the grief speaking? John said no more after Isabella because he couldn't bear to lose another one.

Huge hugs to you xxxxxx

 

[mhazzab]

I second what Andrea has said.

We're always here for you hun, whenever you need us.

Sending lots of love and hugs xxx

Same from me too, always here for you and we can talk about Thomas whenever you want or need to. The way I see it, we all have a special bond on here and we have and will continue to help each other heal as much as is possible after what we have been through xxxxx

 

[jojo23]

fly high gorgeous angel Thomas.... playing with all our little angels! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx