My Donor may be Backing out- I am sad, angry, but mostly sad....

[37Hopeful]

Ladies~
For those of you who know me, I am 37 year old "single" lesbian woman who has searched for the "ultimate" donor for 3 years. I found one, and we have been trying for the last 2 months with home insemination. This process has been filled with so many emotions- ambivalence, fear....but mostly feelings associated with happiness, fun, laughter, and elation....and an overall feeling of being "hopeful" about this process.
I am sad to say I am no longer hopeful.
The donor who I have chosen is a very good friend of mine who told me 3 years ago that he would be "the one" shall I ever embark on this path. After considering a sperm bank, it was this person who stated,

"I would be mortified if you went to such measures....and I know how badly you want this...let me be the father please...I want this child to know her/his father as oppsed to # 5568. It just seems wrong to go to a sperm bank."

He convinced me to take the more "personal" route, and here I am feeling sad- depressed because the one who has been trying to convince me for so long that "he would be it" may not be it. I think he realized just how much this would change his life...not sure!! I had so many doubts about this process, however, I had abolished most of my fear by this point & was actually feeling excited by the process of going with a friend, as opposed to a number.

It's a done deal and I am back to the drawing board.....

 

[amommy]

I am sorry, and that is probably why its harder to have someone you are personal friends with.. May I suggest a website called Freespermdonorregistry.com, not only are most donors known to you, some of them are even ok with you sending pictures or updates about their offspring.. I have met some really really nice men there and most do it for free! If they are near you they will give the sample in person, if not most will ship and you send them the kit and pay for shipping.. Let me know if you want to talk about this as I am in the same boat as you.

My email is [email protected], and yahoo messenger is [email protected]!!

HUGS I am so sorry you are going through this!

 

[Natsby]

So sorry to hear that! You must feel terrible, when I was single a friend of mine said he would be my donor should I want one. He has since done it for his ex girlfriend and he can´t believe how much it has changed his life, he is completely besotted with his daughter and is changing everything to be near her. So you friend maybe letting you down but if he isn´t ready for that kind of commitment then maybe he is better of getting off the roundabout now rather than when you and your child are looking to him for support later. Having said that I hope you find a new donor soon and best of luck!

 

[37Hopeful]

I am sorry, and that is probably why its harder to have someone you are personal friends with.. May I suggest a website called Freespermdonorregistry.com, not only are most donors known to you, some of them are even ok with you sending pictures or updates about their offspring.. I have met some really really nice men there and most do it for free! If they are near you they will give the sample in person, if not most will ship and you send them the kit and pay for shipping.. Let me know if you want to talk about this as I am in the same boat as you.

My email is [email protected], and yahoo messenger is [email protected]!!

HUGS I am so sorry you are going through this!

Thanks so much!!! I will send you a message soon & I really appreciate the info. Very helpful!!

 

[sarahincanada]

sorry to hear that....but I do think this is perhaps a sign and meant to be.... even though its a nice thought to do this with a friend it could have ended up badly...once the child was born he might have wanted much more to do with the child and you could have disagreements. it could end up being too complicated.

the sperm bank thing....personally I prefer the anonymity of that if you want to be a single mum. there are so many children in the world with different backgrounds I would think in 20 years when your child is older it wont be considered that different. by then I hope we would have evolved to a world where gay marriage is legal and everyone is accepted for who they are.

 

[MrsRH]

just wanted to send you a
x