My Dr wants me to wait until baby cries to feed him...

[RaquelDee]

Sounds like you have a great action plan in place.

In terms of waiting between feeds, don't beat yourself up too much about it if it doesn't always work out. My bubba is 9 days older than yours and has just been through a big spate of cluster feeding which I guess is growth spurt related. At first I was trying to stick to 3 hourly feeds, but it was making us both miserable. Sometimes they just need to eat more. She's back to normal now. So as you've said, go with your instincts and be prepared to roll with it.

Not sure what state you are in, but in Victoria we have a maternal child health line that is really helpful. I found this list of helplines for parents Australia-wide, so maybe one of these can assist if you hit any more bumps along the way: https://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/hotlines.html

 

[Indi Ocean]

Ah yes I forgot to mention the dummy. They are saviours! Even at 6 months, if Isla is sleepy after a feed she wants her dummy in to keep sucking even though she's had enough food.

Do not worry about the formula debacle. Honestly, as long he has had some breast milk in his few weeks of life, you have given him the important nutrients when he needed it. I know so many adults who were formula fed from birth and are perfectly healthy people! Formula would only have improved since then also. I can not stand the pressure society puts on women to breastfeed and the stigma that comes with formula feeding. Both are healthy and safe so do whatever works for Albie, as you are doing.

The midwife sounds lovely. I think she was really trying to give you guidance and some structure to work with. Remember though, nothing should be mathematical about looking after your baby. Aim for an hours feed but if you go over it, it's not the end of the world...babies of that age should not work to a schedule. Everything is on demand. We put some restraints on things however, so we don't completely crumble under the physical and emotional demands!

Do you feed both sides at once? Imo is best to only feed one side at a time, especially for collicy babies. That's because the milk that comes out at the beginning of the feed is quite watery and can make them quite gassy, it's not until they get to the end of the feed that they reach the the filling rich milk. So if you feed shorter feeds on each side, they never reach that heavier milk that makes them fuller and more satisfied. I didn't find this out until Isla was about a month old and it did make quite a difference! Didn't solve everything..but it did help. The only thing that solves it is for your milk to establish more...unfortunately that's a waiting game. That's where formula helps!

There is SO much conflicting information out there...and that's because there is no 'right' way, even though some mum's and professionals make it out that way.

I took what I wanted from all the information out there and did everything else based on instincts. I had one rule though and I would swear by it...do everything and anything you can to stop your baby from crying. If that meant feeding her more, cuddling her for longer, whatever..that's what I did. It's the most critical time where they are building the pathways and foundations of the brain and responding quickly to their needs will help those pathways form to create a healthy, well adjusted & content little person. If I ever felt like I was lost as to what to do, I would just remember that & go through the process of elimination to stop her from crying.

So please don't stress over the new plan, just use it as a guide not something you have to 100% abide by..and it should come second to your natural motherly instincts, you know best for your bub!

Thank you for your advice on the over feeding.
The midwife said he is gaining weight well. When I asked her if it was too much, she said no and not to listen to what my gp said, and that she is happy he is gaining weight.

She recommended that I give him 2 feeds with just formula, and build up a supply of expressed milk (which isn't much tbh) so that then at the next feed, I can put him on the breast and the top him up with the larger amount of expressed milk (and then formula if necessary). Then to express IMMEDIATELY after his feed and only 10mins per breast (I've been expressing for about 40 minutes because I thought that would be best, but I was wrong and she said all it would be doing is exhausting me). She wants me to keep his feeds under an hour - people keep saying this but no one really has an answer when I ask HOW- he is a slow eater and hard to burp but has gassy colic so reaaaaally needs good and frequent burping, so his feeds take ages...
But she wants me to feed him and after the hour stop... she wants me to make sure I wait for 2 hours between feeds and to do anything I can to make him wait, go for walks etc. I am starting that today and I am really nervous. If he is still hungry I don't know what I will do, I will feel so guilty and anxious.

She also wants me to go back on my anxiety and depression medication that I was on prior to pregnancy.

She also recommended that I use a dummy and has said that he is a sucky baby. That made me feel better. Is really has helped calm him for when I put him to sleep. She has said not to listen to the other midwives and nurses who say not to use dummies, and that he just needs to soothe himself with sucking. She said that dummies are only really a problem if you use them to replace a feed which obviously won't be my problem haha.

I will let you all know how I go. Hopefully he will need less and less formula soon. Or will just seem satisfied... And hopefully I can just relax about it all. Worst case scenario that could ever eventuate is that he ends up completely formula fed, and I need to remind myself that that's okay. That all that matters is that he is fed and loved. I just need to try and relax about everything a little more. I'm just so anxious and I just want to do the best for my baby.

I think I need to listen to professionals a little less and listen to my instincts a little bit more. Having each person contradict each other just makes it more confusing.

Thanks so much everyone. I will let you all know how my day goes with the new plan.

 

[noon_child]

She wants me to keep his feeds under an hour - people keep saying this but no one really has an answer when I ask HOW- he is a slow eater and hard to burp but has gassy colic so reaaaaally needs good and frequent burping, so his feeds take ages...
But she wants me to feed him and after the hour stop... she wants me to make sure I wait for 2 hours between feeds and to do anything I can to make him wait, go for walks etc.

Hi, I don't ever like saying "this is wrong" because, like you said, conflicting advice is stressful and confusing. I also like to support the hard work of people in the health professions and not tear them down. BUT the bit of advice I have highlighted has confused me a bit (as it doesn't fit with my understanding of breastfeeding) so I just wondered if the midwife said WHY she wanted you to limit his feeds and space them out. Sometimes if we know the reasoning behind advice given we can use that to tweak and change the suggestions to fit in with our own parenting values, while still maintaining the end result. I actually wondered reading it whether her suggestion were made because she is worried about YOU and trying to give you a less demanding schedule for the sake of your mental health - the problem being, if her suggestions don't sit well with you and leave you with a screaming baby, then it will not reduce your stress but increase it.

I have a few things I would suggest (having had a tough time with bf myself) but I don't want to overload you, or ask you to change something if right now it is working for you.

 

[LittleLala]

I think you are right noon child, she was worried about me... Also I think she thinks he is grazing all day and not sufficiently feeding and that would make him feed better at each feed?
I welcome any advice!

 

[noon_child]

I think you are right noon child, she was worried about me... Also I think she thinks he is grazing all day and not sufficiently feeding and that would make him feed better at each feed?
I welcome any advice!

Grazing is actually a very natural and healthy way for a baby to feed. Breast that are full are harder to latch on to, can overload baby with milk, and the milk has a lower fat content.

However I know that during my LOs newborn phase when she couldn't latch properly and had a very lazy suck, waiting for a full breast meant she didn't have to work as hard for the milk, so it SEEMED like she fed more satisfactorily, but the downside was that the milk had a lower fat content and my supply wasn't building as fast. 2hrly feeds is a good regular feed schedule and the milk will be fat rich and it won't affect your supply badly, but just trying to say there isn't a "health" reason why you can't feed him more often if that is when he is hungry.

In terms of whether your LO is getting enough milk from you:
Do you feel pain while he feeds?
Are your nipples squashed, angled or damaged after a feed?
Does he lose weight or not gain if you stop supplementing?
Does he have less than 5 wet nappies if you stop supplementing?
Does he dribble milk from the side of his mouth either when breast or bottle-feeding?
Does he make a clicking sound often during breastfeeds?
Do his cheeks ever suck in while feeding rather than staying full and rounded?

If you can get milk when you express/pump then you are having letdowns but some people never feel them. My letdowns were painful for the first 5 days and then after that I never felt them AT ALL, not even a twinge or tickle, nothing.

Regarding only pumping 25ml: some people don't respond to pumps, the milk just doesn't flow like it would when your baby feeds. However this isn't to say there isn't a problem, because your LO does seem quite unsettled. Sometimes hand expressing gets better results.

Do you have any health conditions that might impact milk supply (hyperthyroidism, polycystic ovaries)?

How is postpartum bleeding? Any chance you could have any retained placenta?

 

[Luckybug]

I would personally just throw all the formula out of the house and see how much weight he gains in the next two days. Get rid of all of it. If you aren't able to express much you're not responding well to the pump you will definitely respond better to your child. My baby was on my tit 24/7 for the first five weeks of her life, despite my husband questioning whether she "got enough" she has gained almost two pounds in her short little life! She now sleeps through the night sometimes waking up once to top off. Your little one has a job to do, and that's to get your boobies regulated, if you keep supplementing during these first weeks your supply will never get to where it needs to be. You will also risk getting a blocked duct or mastitis by skipping feeds.

You should have him evaluated for a tongue tie or lip tie honestly, that would cause him to not intake enough. This should be your first step. You should also go to your gp and weigh him before a feed. Wait until he's hungry again, feed him, and then reweigh him immediately after. You will be able to assess the amount he's intaking and it will surprise you. If not, ask the midwife to come back with a scale and do it there. You could drastically be overfeeding him with formula. Every baby is different, and surprisingly some newborns just don't need to sleep a lot. Mixing formula and breast milk can also interfere with his digestion and lead to tummy problems.

Another suggestion is that he could have reflux. Babies with reflux will tend to over eat and stay awake more because they're in pain, they try to use milk to soothe it, and it makes the problem worse. You could be inflating the problem by giving him mixed feeds. So, instead of the calm sleep you think you're giving him, he wakes up in discomfort, and seeks comfort on his mommy's breast. Instead of listening to the doctor, time the feeds and stop once every ten minutes, sit him upright, burp him and let him stay upright for about five minutes so he can digest better. If he seems hungry then, feed another five minutes, do the same thing.

You obviously have good instincts that tell you something is just not right with his feeds! The problem is just figuring out what, and it could be something very very simple.