My DS constantly thinks about dying!!!! Help!

[Soccergurl3]

It all started about 2 months ago when my son 6 year old son came home and said someone had said he had a white hair. Sure enough he had one and I cut it off because he was pretty persistant that I remove it. Ever since then he has been afraid to go near anyone with white or grey hair because he says " They are old and will die soon". Ever since then I get about 5 questions a day...How many days until I die? Who will take care of me when you and Daddy die? What happens in heaven after you die? Do you ever come back to life? Are you allowed to play video games in heaven?

Then I explained to him that dying is the circle of life and that everything that is living will eventually die and that he won't die for many many years to come. Now he is even more upset because he is worried when his dog will die, or the trees in the backyard.

Is it normal for a young child to be so obsessed with death? My husband and I don't know what to do? We have tried talking to him.....tried telling him that we are no longer allowed to talk to him about it. I was thinking of getting him a book to explain death and heaven to him but all I could find were really religious books and I am worried that he will be even more confused as he wasn't brought up in a religious home.

Please help I want to help him so bad as it scares me that he has these thought all time

 

[elsielouise]

If you go online and do a search for helping children with bereavement you will find a number of resources that help explain and put death into context.

If I was you I would address his worries this way rather than not talk to him about it as you will find some good ways to,answer his questions.

I just did a quick search and found lots of sites for children example

https://www.winstonswish.org.uk/

Even though they are often written for children facing bereavement they have lots of good answers to the kind of worries a young child may have.

Hth

 

[smelly07]

it is absolutely completely normal - my eldest daughter who is now 7.5 went through this at around 5-6 years old, some of our conversations actually made me cry as its so upsetting.

I really wished that she didnt 'think' so much and all her worries were about what children to play with and what games to play etc


Basically you just need to bare with it, it is a phase he will grow out off, answer his questions honestly but then try and distract him with a happy thought after, the main thing is to always finish on a positive after answering one of his questions. x

 

[Soccergurl3]

Thank you so much ladies for all of your suggestions I will try them for sure! That's why I love this forum, no matter wat problem you have big or small there is always someone to help you! Thanks again

 

[CandyDay]

My son is the same way. It's just a phase......he is almost 5. We tell him he doesn't need to worry about it. That its part of the circle of life and it probably won't happen for a long time.

 

[sabby52]

my eldest went through this when he was about 5 and my youngest is going through it now and he is almost 5. When my eldest went through it I spoke with my HV and she told me it was completely normal, she said she couldnt help me deal with it as everyone views death in different ways, but one thing she did say was to be as honest as possible, for their age. Dec knows he is going to get old and die, he knows that everyone will get old and die and he is really beginning to accept it all now.

 

[JASMAK]

Yes, very normal. I assure my kids I will live until 100, and so will they, but my kids have had the unfortunate experience of a family friend dying, young. Plus, their cat died several years ago. They do believe in God and heaven so we talk aout that. I keep things simple

 

[alicecooper]

My 7 year old daughter sometimes cries in her bed because she's afraid of dying (not now, but the fact that she'll be dead ONE day). I just do my best to comfort her. To be honest I know EXACTLY how she feels so I can't say I blame her.