ClaireNicole
Mom of 1 WTT for 2
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2010
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It is the funniest thing i ever read in an email lol. P before you read and
hope nobody is sleeping lol TOO TRUE***
Hair removal 101...God love the woman who shared this...
All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
wax.
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix
dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the
medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom.
It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
Just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you
peel
them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right
off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly girl; I am
mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end! (Oh how this phrase
now haunts me!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and
pull.
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body
hair and smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north.
After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate
Hair Fighting Championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the
toilet.
Using the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side
of the bikini line, covering the right half of my thigh and stretching down
to the inside of my butt cheek. (Yes, it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of
the strip. Crap!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly
and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see
my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so
much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph
over body hair. I hold up the strip!.....There's no hair on it. Where is the
hair.
WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on
The toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch.
I am touching wax. Crap!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of
my
body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my foot is
still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I
put my foot down. noo!!!!!!!! #$@^^+ is now Sealed Shut as is my
Butt!! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out
what to do and think to myself; "Please don't let me get the
urge to poop!"
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottes$&+@#er I can stand
I get
into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax
should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture
prisoners of war or to sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the
only thing worse than having your nether businesses glued together is
having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In
scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!
God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the
bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of
how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter: "So, my butt
and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She
doesn't have a secret trick but
does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the
wax
is located on my bottom "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's
laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she
suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions, I resort to
scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have
your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in
super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain
is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut
land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the
possible
saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and it scared the dickens out of my
friend,
but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
relief and despair..................................
THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I just shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color
hope nobody is sleeping lol TOO TRUE***
Hair removal 101...God love the woman who shared this...
All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the
wax.
My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home, fix
dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully
in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the
medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom.
It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
Just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you
peel
them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right
off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly girl; I am
mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair
dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end! (Oh how this phrase
now haunts me!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and
pull.
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body
hair and smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north.
After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate
Hair Fighting Championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the
toilet.
Using the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side
of the bikini line, covering the right half of my thigh and stretching down
to the inside of my butt cheek. (Yes, it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of
the strip. Crap!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly
and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see
my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so
much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph
over body hair. I hold up the strip!.....There's no hair on it. Where is the
hair.
WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on
The toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch.
I am touching wax. Crap!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of
my
body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my foot is
still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I
put my foot down. noo!!!!!!!! #$@^^+ is now Sealed Shut as is my
Butt!! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out
what to do and think to myself; "Please don't let me get the
urge to poop!"
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottes$&+@#er I can stand
I get
into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax
should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture
prisoners of war or to sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the
only thing worse than having your nether businesses glued together is
having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In
scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!!
God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the
bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of
how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter: "So, my butt
and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She
doesn't have a secret trick but
does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the
wax
is located on my bottom "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's
laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she
suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions, I resort to
scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have
your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in
super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain
is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut
land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the
possible
saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and it scared the dickens out of my
friend,
but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! IT WORKS!!
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
relief and despair..................................
THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I just shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color
thats hilarious!
