My first OH rant. I appologise in advance.

[LavaPanda]

Hi girls, I'll try and make this as short as I can.

(And Danny, I'm aware you check this to see what I've been posting, so if you see this it's your fault)

Basically, I know half of it is my hormones that are making me a little (-cough- alot) more irratable and I keep taking it out on Danny. Half the time I know it's not his fault but he's just. . .there. . .as he pretty much lives with me. Easy target I guess.
Anyway, these past few days he's litterally been driving me bat shit crazy and it's over really trivial things- like since I've got pregnant I'm struggling with physical contact even cuddling, for some reason, winds me up and then he has a go at me which really upsets me as I start to feel so bad and paranoid. Just wondering if anyone else is like this and it's not just me being horrible- because that's how I feel. Even my parents have said i'm horrible to him. And I just can't help it. He winds me the fuck up, but at the same time he's the first person I've ever believed I've loved (which is a bit of luck considering the situation haha)

However he does make some really stupid comments at times. And I know they're just his way of dealing with this but some of them are like 'you serious?'
For example he's said things like 'It'll only be our baby when we're together. . .' and it's like, no, for as long as you live it will be our baby.
'I'll just come at you with a coat hanger when you sleep' etc etc
He also said he doesn't want me telling anybody even after the twelve week scan. That proper bummed me out as I feel I can't be happy about my pregnancy- which I am D: and share with our friends (As we share the same friendship group)

Also, I know it's early and there are always chances of it not going. . . right I guess. . . but in a few weeks, would it be cheeky of me to ask him to just save a little of what he earns in his part time job to put towards the LO? I feel asking this would just make things a little complicated for him. But at the same time, I know he doesn't want the baby, but it's happening, he helped put it there as much as I did so maybe he should suck it up a little.

I dunno, just bummed. But we'll manage, always do.


Thanks guuuuuuuuuuys. Sorry to be a winger.

 

[snowfia]

Tbh, you can tell whoever, whenever about your pregnancy if you want to, he doesn't exactly have a right to stop you telling your friends.
I'm struggling with physical contact with OH atm too and he gets a bit annoyed at me too which just upsets me and I just really want him to understand how I feel but it's hard for guys, they don't realise the huge hormonal changes we go through.
And he should save up, it's his baby too and he needs to help support it and buy things too, definitely not cheeky of you to ask.

 

[teenmommy15]

Wow i thought i wrote this. Im pretty much in the exact same situation.

During the beginning of my pregnancy i hated being touched by my boyfriend Marcus, never wanted to cuddle, or have sex or anything like that. It mainly is our hormones and sadly it wont pass. The whole not liked being touched will hopefully pass for you as it did for me but the hormones just get worse unfortunately.

Ive had to apologize to Marcus so many times for my hormones. But then again he is their and he does say stupid stuff, even when hes just joking or doesnt mean it, some of the stuff he says starts ridiculous fights and the stuff he does and really the only way to attempt to make things better is to tell him that your hormones are crazy and that he needs to be more sensitive and considerate to your feelings cause you cant control your hormones and the things that erk you recently.

Its definitely not to early to start saving money, the more the better!

Pm me if you need to talk

 

[baby9]

Hey, I see you're from Manchester, I'm from Cheshire so not too far!

I absolutely loathed physical contact at first. I felt really paranoid and worried that I was going off OH even though the emotions and love was still there. I'm a member of another forum and all the women on there were saying how amazing sex was and how they akways wanted it so i just worried! For me it did improve, im not as interested in it as i was before pregnancy though.

Do not feel guilty for asking OH to set aside some money. He has a responsibility to provide for this child and im sure he knows that so dont feel cheeky.

As for telling friends, that's always a tricky one. Personally I would wait until after your scan so you know everything is okay. If you were to miscarry after telling people then ypu'd have to tell friends and you may not feel up to it. However if you did miscarru and wanted the support of your friends, there's nothing stopping you from telling them. But that's just my opinion. There's no right or wrong when it come to telling people. Definitely dont let your OH dictate what you can and cant do though.

With my OH and I it was the other way around. He wanted to announce the pregnancy after the 12 week scan and originally i said id prefer not to. However, after the scan i was so excited and relieved that wverything was okay that we announced it to everybody. Your OH may come around in the same way i did. If not theb it's still entirely up to you who you tell

Pm if you ever want a chat or advice about anything xx

 

[copesy]

Im from Manchester too! Not sure how far along I am but i'm fairly sure its pretty close you how far you are too.

I guess ive been lucky so far, ive not had an issue with pyhsical contact. In fact, im the opposite and have gone so needy (for cuddles!) that im surprised its not driving my man mad. I am snapping at him constantly though, yay hormones. Lucky he does understand and HE usually apologises to me even if i'm the one thats being a crazy bitch for no reason!

I don't think its cheeky asking him to save up.. Its his baby too, and he should be making sure he provides for it! I also don't think its fair of him to not want you telling anyone. I can understand waiting until after the scan, but after that I think its up to you really. I'm sure he'll come round

 

[17pregnant]

First thing I want to say is honestly, he's a easy target because you love him. Lol that sounds horrible, but it's so much easier to be like that towards the ones you love the most. And you can't help it, I think maybe you need to show him something that explains it, or show him in a way he'll understand. Tbh those comments are horrible, even if they were meant as some sort of joke. They shouldn't be said, and you have every right to be upset. Also after 12 weeks, tell whoever you damn well please. I'm not at that mark yet, but my OH has been cheeky and telling people (despite me wanting to wait) at first I was a little mad, but then I thought it's cute because he must be super excited, and wants everyone to know And personally, I don't think you should have to ask him, let alone feel bad about doing it. You are both in this together, and soon, if not already, he will be the one who brings in the money for you. It's the support you need. Luckily my OH did it on his own accord, got a better job, more hours, and is working his butt off. Everyone is different, maybe your boyfriend just needs a little (or big) push in the right direction

 

[lizmageeful]

When i was pregnant i was AWFUL to OH first trimester. he called me hulk-smash cause some days it got so bad. The hormones are throwing you out of wack, they will probably mellow out around 2nd trimester.

Also, its perfectly reasonable to ask him to put some away for LO, trust me it helps a lot.

 

[copesy]

Yep, like everyone else said.. Hormones turn us all into nutcases . My OH has been snapped at over nothing a LOT so far. Luckily, hes pretty understanding and usually ends up apologising even when I am being crazy for no reason.

I still want personal contact though lol.. In fact I am so needy for cuddles that I went into a sulk with him last night because I felt neglected (the poor guy left for work at 6am, got home at 6:40pm... So not very fair of me!)

As for asking your fella to save up.. You shouldnt even have to ask! But no, its not cheeky of you. Its perfectly reasonable that you should want him to!

And I think its up to you if you want to tell people after 12 weeks. Sure its both of your baby, but its you that its growing inside and people need to be told sooner or later

Oh.. I'm from Manchester too, BTW! Not sure how far along I am, but i'm probably not much further than you

 

[mummytobe_93]

I feel the same about the physical contact, i think it's because i constantly have the baby on my mind and my boyfriend used to be the most important thing to me (he still is) but so is the baby it's weird...

Also that's a stupid thing for him to say, he will be paying child support if you split up so yes it wil always be his baby, even if at times you wish it wasnt and he wishes it wasnt!

He sounds like he wants to go back in time and undo the whole situiation- and if he doesnt tell his friends it isnt happening, but it is either way, so if you want to tell your friends, you tell your friends! Its something to be happy about- scream it from the roof tops he cant stop you!!

xx

 

[LavaPanda]

Sooo relieved to hear it's not just me. I've now told him this but he's still not getting it haha. Oh well, some ones just gunna have to suck it up.

And as for the money thing- I dropped a hint that a bit of saving needs to be done and that I've even got a seperate savings account just for LO. He didn't get it. Infact completely ignored the idea. I then told him bluntly I'd like a small contribution every now and again, nothing big and only till he goes to uni. Especially how he has a job and I've had to quit mine due to chace of harmful cross contamination (Body piercer). That didn't go down well. He feels because he's going to uni soon he needs to save up for that- and then brought out a sob story of how his mums told him she's going to have to get a second job to support him through that, let alone a baby aswell. Oh and then started being all 'I'm so scaaaaared about it'. And it's like. . . 'I've not asked for a contribution from her, I've asked for a £5 a fortnight contribution from you until you go to uni and then I understand you'll have to support yourself.' But apparently that's too much. And he thinks he's the only one that's scared. I'm shitting it- he can run away if he wants to. This ones pretty much attatched to me haha. Looks like I'm going it alone ladies.
But all part of the fun and I'm still hopeful and excited none the less.
Thanks for hearing my winge haha.

 

[baby9]

Aww I'm sorry that OH is acting like that :/ personally I'd be asking for a heck of a lot more than £5 a week so he needs to stop feeling hard done by. As for the sob story, as somebody who is in uni, I can tell you that his loan will be enough to support him and if he is from a low income family then he will get extra money which he does not need to pay back. Might be worth telling him this so he doesn't worry as much. Also, he will get even more money from Student Finance once baby is born. I get free nursery care due to OH and I both working or being students. Im not sure if its the same for dads butbit might be worth enquiring about as if you can get free nursery then you could always return to work to help make ends meet. Hope that's helped a bit I was really worried when I firsr fell pregnant but student finance will practically bend over backwards to help parents, really can't fault them x

 

[LavaPanda]

Student finance, didn't think of that! Thank you, I'll mention that to him when he gets back!
My college offers free childcare if I'm in full time education, so that bits releaving and I'll be back in work as soon as I feel I can stray from LO to bring in some extra spends.
And I don't know why he's being like this! We're not even slightly from underprivalaged families- my Dad's a bank manager and his mum's a tax thingy and my family are offering full emotional and financial support. But I just feel like I shouldn't take them forgranted and as a potentional parent I feel I should take on as much of the responsabilty as I can so I'm saving up where I can. That's it really.

But yes, I shall ask him to see what extras he can get from student finance so thanks for that