My friend has had her baby.........

[Lownthwaite]

Hi ladies,

I hope this is the best place to post this - never been in this section before as my little lady arrived at 41 weeks.

My friend has had her baby today by emergency Csection due to preeclampsia at 31+1. She had her last LO at 29wks so if aware of what will happen regarding protocall etc.

She expressed for 2 weeks with her DD1 but after filling the fridge at the hospital she was told to stop - baby was then transfered closer to home.......needless to say she lost her supply.

This time round she is very eager to BF her little girl. I have said I will help as much as I can having fed my LO for a year next month - I have knowledge in the BF itself but have no experience in the premature baby side of things

I have not been able to speak to her yet - she's just txt me saying baby is here - I'm guessing LO is in SCBU - although thought to be healthy during pregnancy the weight scan last week showed her to estimate at 3lb 2oz.
I'm guessing skin to skin isn't possible if LO has to be taken away to an incubator?

I've suggest she gets hold of a double pump asap to get the colostrum for LO and I'm guessing pumping every approx 2 hours day and night is the best idea??

I feel abit useless to be honest, she will be looking to me for advice and support on feeding her new LO and I'm thinking I may not be much use until new baby can latch?!?! I've lots of experience but only once baby can go to the breast itself.

Any advice on how I could help or advise my friend would be gratefully appreciated. Thanks ladies

 

[katy1310]

Hi hunny

Congratulations to your friend on her baby.

I had Sophie at 27 weeks exactly, due to pre eclampsia. I started to express after a couple of days, just by hand at first till my milk came in, and it was fed to Sophie via NG tube. At first she was just getting 0.5ml every 3 hours! As her weight increased, they increased the amounts of milk.

I found that keeping a photo of Sophie beside me, and something that had been in her incubator, like a blanket she'd been sleeping with or something like that used to help with the expressing. The real turning point though was after my first cuddle with her at 3 weeks old. We did skin to skin and I went to express straight after and the milk just kept coming!

I guess how soon your friend is allowed skin to skin depends on how stable her baby is, and also what her neonatal unit is like for encouraging cuddles. Maybe at 31 weeks she'll be allowed skin to skin fairly soon. The babies can come out of their incubators even when they're on CPAP and hooked up to all their monitors etc but I think a lot does depend on how stable they are at the time. Having said that, Sophie was always much more stable while she was out being cuddled! Our hospital didn't seem to encourage a lot of cuddles but I know that some do encourage them a lot more.

I would agree with you about pumping often - I was told every 3 hours day and night but it wasn't very easy with LO in neonatal and having a 120 mile round trip every day to see her! I did it as often as I could - I didn't know till Sophie was in high dependency after 7 weeks on the unit that you could actually get a pump to express at the cotside, and have screens round - if I'd known that earlier it would have been much easier because I never wanted to go and leave Sophie while I went to express!

The baby should be able to latch on in a few weeks. I can't remember exactly what gestation they are able to - I think maybe around 35ish weeks but one of the other ladies will probably know. Sophie was allowed to start breastfeeding for some of her feeds when she was 9 weeks old, so 36 weeks. We did one breastfeed a day for the first few days, and the rest were tube feeds, then I bf every other feed, then I stayed in the unit for about a week and did all the feeds.

Just try to encourage your friend at the moment - all that expressing isn't easy, and it's so hard getting up in the night when there's no baby with you, but still having to express. Perhaps you could give her a hand around the house, or cook some meals etc so she has the time to focus on resting, pumping and visiting the baby. Also, it's ok to say congratulations - some people aren't sure whether to say it or not, but I really appreciated the people who did.

We're all here to try and help if any advice is needed. xxx

 

[Lownthwaite]

Thanks so much for the reply Katy1310.

Im actually finding myself quite teary and emotional at the moment - I think I'll feel better once I know they are both ok. I txt her after she txt me asking if they were both ok but no reply as of yet. I'm sure she has better things to be doing than txting me! Just worried I guess.

I just really hope she can cope with the expressing cause I can't begin to imagine, like you say, how hard it must be to get up when you are so tierd - and after a section - and express when there isn't a baby there crying for you!

 

[katy1310]

I'm sure they will both be fine

If she's anything like me, she'll be feeling a bit horrible after the section, drugged up to the eyeballs on painkillers, and the first night, they put my bedside cabinet thingy well out of reach (including the buzzer, my phone, my lip balm, my book - absolutely everything! The TV was also out of reach so I couldn't do a thing!)

I know so many preemie mummies who have coped with the expressing - it's hard, but you do it for your baby because you know it's best for them. I think you get some kind of coping mechanism when you have a preemie. Before Sophie was born, I didn't know how on earth we would cope with the months ahead (I knew from 25 weeks pregnant that she'd be early but we just didn't know how early - it was going to be any day) but once she was born and we knew what we were dealing with, it was easier, and we just kept strong somehow the whole time she was in. I keep thinking I could never do that again - but you just do....I can't even explain it. The other thing is that the expressing is one thing that you can do for your baby that nobody else can, and honestly, it's so hard trying to feel like their mummy with other people looking after them, being told when you can cuddle them, change their nappy, tube feed them etc etc - expressing does help. It's nice having something that you and nobody else can do for your baby - and also knowing you're doing something really great for them.

Do you know if your friend had steroid shots before LO arrived?

Hopefully tomorrow you'll hear something from her. It is an emotional time for everyone, especially till you know they are ok, but 31 weeks is 4 weeks further on than Sophie had, and she is now a totally mad hyper 14 month old (just to give you an idea of what she's like - she was 1lb 13 when she was born, spent 12 weeks in neonatal but tonight was kneeling and actually bouncing on our bed in the dark when we were trying to get her to sleep - and she somehow managed to get a pair of her daddy's boxers into her cot through the bars and was standing up, wearing them on her head )

Pm me if you need a chat at all. xxxx

 

[Lownthwaite]

I had an emergency section too and you've reminded me what it was like being able to see things but not reach them! She may not be near her phone.

Yeah - she has had steriod shots for LOs lungs. 2 shots 12 hours apart.

Fingers crossed I hear something tomorrow - will keep you posted.

Got a great mental image of your Sophie bouncing on the bed with her daddys boxers on her head! lol

(ps my friend has called her LO Sophie too )

 

[katy1310]

Yay for Sophies

The steroid shots make such a difference - it's good that she had those.

I wonder why they like to leave things out of reach when you can't move

My Sophie is finally sleeping, hyper little monster! Wouldn't have it any other way though This time last year I was just wishing I could have sleepless nights with Sophie at home...it maybe sounds daft but I never ever mind getting up with her in the night etc - I just keep thinking how lucky I am to be cuddling my baby at home where she belongs, and being able to be the person to comfort her in the night.

Let me know if you hear from your friend tomorrow.

xxxx

 

[Lownthwaite]

She has just txt me saying LO is 3lb 2oz - but she hasn't seen her yet

Is that normal??! She said baby is ok as far as she knows.

I've just asked her how she's feeling and if she has started expressing yet.

I hope she gets to see her new LO soon. Must be awful not being able to see her!!

 

[katy1310]

It's normal - did you say she had pre-eclampsia? I had, and I was very ill with it and wasn't allowed to see Sophie till the next day - she was born at 2.44pm on the Sunday and I didn't see her till lunchtime on the Monday. It wasn't because Sophie was too ill, it was because I was in high dependency and being monitored etc. DH was allowed to go and see Sophie when she was a couple of hours old. I'm sure she will be allowed to see LO today. That's a really good weight - Sophie was only 1lb 13 and it took her ages and ages to reach 3lbs!

xxx

 

[Lownthwaite]

Yeah she had preeclampsia - but it turns out thats not the cause of the emergency section!

I've just spoken to her - she had a massive internal bleed and her placenta detatched. The doctor told them if she had gone to surgery 10 minutes later than she did then the baby would have died!

LO has just been taken off the ventilator and seems to be coping on her own but they have said she will have to go back on if she gets tierd.

My friend says she is in alot of pain but is going to start expressing - I've recommended every 2 hours day and night and to continue for a few mins after flow stops to encourage her milk in / increase supply. Is there anything else I should be recommending?

She said there was that much blood she thought she was dying
LO has to have a brain scan later to see if there are any complications from lack of oxygen

 

[Hotmum]

I had my baby girl at 32 weeks ( even ) due Pre- E too...

It was hard, your friend does need the time to recovery, I had my baby at 8 pm but I could not see her until 1 pm next day =)
Honestly it wasn´t for her, but for me, I was in mag still ( sulfate magnesium) and I was weak and my blood pressure crazy ... So I just went to visit next day...
She was in the incubator at the NICU when I first saw her, I could not hold her at first only touch, but they gave me a picture of her to pump and a grade A hospital pump to start doing it, they told me it was very important for her, not only because of the colostrum, but our body works so perfect that he ´´knows`` we gave birth early and for the first four weeks preemie moms make a stronger milk than full term moms and our milk has more protein and fat for your preemie baby...

I had a TERRIBLE time pumping at first, I didn´t know but Sulfate Magnesium really decrease our milk but with time it ´´comes`` back =)
I got almost nothing in my first week ( maybe less than half once every 2-3 after 3 days! ) but her baby wont need much more than that.
Just tell her how important is it and to keep pumping, it is hard doing it without the baby but is worth it.
I could hold my daughter ( skin to skin )after 3 days and after that, my milk did increase !
At 34+4 ( I believe) weeks she started breastfeeding once a day and she is doing great at it

like sophie ( katy´s baby lol ) she is breastfeeding once a day 2-3 times bottle and the rest by the tube ( they get tired pretty easy, that´s why )...

congrats for the birth of your friend´s baby =)

anything else don´t hesitate to ask hunn

 

[Lownthwaite]

Just had a txt - LO's brain scan has come back clear

AND she's hungry and my friend has been given a double pump to express

Fingers crossed all is well and she'll gain weight well!

She's just really emotional bless her. Just want to give her a big

 

[katy1310]

Aww that's fantastic news!

Your friend WILL be emotional - it's a huge trauma to come through. I was a wreck the first few days - not only does she have the hormones going on but she's also got a baby in neonatal. You're a wonderful friend to her for caring so much

Hope you are doing ok too!!!

xx

 

[Lownthwaite]

Aww that's fantastic news!

Your friend WILL be emotional - it's a huge trauma to come through. I was a wreck the first few days - not only does she have the hormones going on but she's also got a baby in neonatal. You're a wonderful friend to her for caring so much

Hope you are doing ok too!!!

xx

Aw thanks Katy - I'm really emotional too to be honest! If I feel like this I can't even imagine how my friend is feeling!

I have just told her all will be fine and to take deep breaths.

It is scary - our local maternity wards, SCBU etc are closing and maternity care will have to all go to the next borough - if it had shut already - then than journey is longer than 10 mins...........little Sophie wouldn't of made it!!

 

[katy1310]

That's really scary that LO wouldn't have made it if she'd had to go to the next borough. I was glad in the end that I was admitted when I was (even though I wasn't happy at the time, lol!) - I'd started out in a hospital nearer home but was transferred to one with a more specialised neonatal unit 2 days before Sophie was born. I was one hour from organ failure by the time they delivered her. You never realise how scary and dangerous pregnancy can be, do you?!

Sending you and your friend hugs - feel free to read my blog (in my signature) if it helps. I've not updated it since August though! xx

 

[Lownthwaite]

Yeah, my labour wasn't smooth at all but it makes me feel so lucky thinking about what some of you other ladies go through!

We are arranging a time now for me to go up to the hospital - she asked for tomorrow afternoon but I've not got anyone to watch my LO until the evening so hopefully I can get up there weds evening. Can't wait to give her a massive hug!

Will be having a read of your blog now Katy.

 

[Lownthwaite]

Your pictures are amazing Katy! Your little sophie is adorable!

 

[katy1310]

Your pictures are amazing Katy! Your little sophie is adorable!

Thank you hun - she's my little miracle baby! I really need to update the blog with some recent pics! x

 

[vermeil]

oooh glad to hear news is good !! Please tell your friend congratulations from the bunch of us crazy ladies And yes after a csection it`s normal not to have the stamina to get up and go visit baby. It took me almost 24 hours too.

I also pumped every 3 hours, every 5-6 at night. The stupid equipment takes forever to wash and disinfect. So before you know it you have to pump AGAIN. It`s VERY time consuming but soooooo worth it!!

why? Because babies`immune systems only develop at around 34 weeks. For preemies the only way to develop their immune system is via mom`s milk. Plus it`s been proven that preemies on mom`s milk tend to have a shorter hospital stay. Now that`s movitation for ya Most hospitals have documention on pumping, milk storage etc. Or a nursing consultant who can answer your friend`s questions. There were two on staff at the hospital and they were really helpful.

I did the calculation ... I pumped over 500 times before baby came home! It`s by far the HARDEST thing I ever did in my whole life, pump all the flippin time while visiting the hospital every day, plus somehow finding the time to eat and even wash from time to time But as others have said so well you just find the strength, go through the motions and do whatever needs done. THEN months later you wonder how the heck you did all that and kept (more or less) sane

 

[Lownthwaite]

Thanks Vermeil for you lovely post!

I have spoken to her this morning and she maybe coming home tomorrow. (without LO obviously )

She has had help from an infant feeding specialist - only for the first expression though?! so I'm glad she is asking for advice.

 

[katy1310]

How are they both doing now, Lownthwaite? x