thank you for the advice, i am trying to come to terms with the possibility he is changing his mind, i havent given many details about what has been going on, i just didnt think it was appropriate in case someone who knew him might come across my posts and relay too much info back to him if they recognise whats been going on. my family has said that it has gone too far and is too proud to go back on what he has been saying for months.. i guess im willing to give him a chance if would just talk to me. thankyou again