my GP is offically an arsehole

Discussion in 'Home & Natural Birthing' started by karla1, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. karla1

    karla1 proud mummy of 1

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    OMG!!!

    was at my GP's yesterday and we were taking about baby and delivery came up and i told him i wanted a home birth this is what he said and i quote

    "what with your first? well as long as you are willing to except that you are putting yourself in the postion where you and or baby could die thats fine! Also without hospital monitoring there is no way you can know if baby has the cord round its neck until you have given birth and .... well.... baby has been strangled and comes out DEAD!!!!"

    i was like WTF!!!! and other half was there and now is demanding a hospital birth and he was so on board before :cry:

    i did say there is a chance of complications with your 2nd, 3rd or 23rd child and his answer

    "but with your first there is a MASSIVE increase in the likely hood of complications and you are putting yourself in the postion where you could both die and yet in hospital you would both survive because any problems we would just do an emergancy C-section"

    i mean come on is my GP on crack or something??????

    surely he cant say these things especially when most of what he has said is total crap.

    when OH asked him about hospital births and all the monitoring i piped up again and said even if i went into hospital to deliver i would not want monitoring unless complication had arose and to this he answered

    "as long as you are happy to put your baby at risk"

    :growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad::growlmad:
     
  2. Celesse

    Celesse Well-Known Member

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    If you are low risk you will get EXACTLY the same type and frequency of monitoring in hospital. A midwife will look after you at home or in hospital. If your at home and there is an issue the midwife will reccomend you transfer in, if in hospital the midiwfe will call the doctor. Both can be achived in a similar amount of time.

    As far as I'm aware there is no difference in first babies getting cord around thier neck than second or more babies. Besides, monitoring won't nessecarily pick up a cord round neck. It may show decelerations, but these can be picked up on a hand held doppler and then you can be transfered to hospital for a CTG.

    It doesn't sound like your GP has ever seen a natural birth, and has no basic understanding of what happens on a maternity ward. I think your midwife needs to have a chat with him.
     
  3. karla1

    karla1 proud mummy of 1

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    what annoyed me more is i have done so much research on this and spoke to so many different people (midwifes, doctors, ladies who have had home births, ladies who have been transferred to hospital) and feel giving what he said i know more than he bloody does but now OH is fretting and really wants a hospital birth
     
  4. cranberry987

    cranberry987 Mum after ttc 16 cycles

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    Mine was about the same tbh. He loves MWLU but home birthing is crazy dangerous apparently.
     
  5. karla1

    karla1 proud mummy of 1

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    he tried to make it sound like if i have a home birth i WILL be killing my baby he has made me soooooo mad x
     
  6. BlueBug

    BlueBug Active Member

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    A lot of people just don't understand home/natural birth. They picture it as something reckless and dangerous and something that you don't prepare for. I've had a lot of people give me quite a panicked look when I tell them I don't actually have an MD but a midwife.

    The bottom line is that it's your choice, and you seem to have educated yourself well on the matter. No matter what there will always be somebody who wants to tell you how stupid it is just because that's how they have it rooted in their mind.
     
  7. tripletsOMG

    tripletsOMG Well-Known Member

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    i had same thing happen to me but i am having my 4th and 5th. after some reasssurace from my private mw we are both at peace with hb again!
     
  8. Samantha675

    Samantha675 Maybe baby #3?!?

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    Wow. What flagrant use of the dead baby card! He needs to tuck that card back in his pocket and do some research.

    I thought a good 25% of babies had their cords wrapped, and once the head was delivers, the doctor or MW checks, and can slip it off. My cord was wrapped around my neck twice, guess I'm a zombie.

    Explain to your dh that the doctor has no idea what he is talking about. Have him do some reading and research, then he can feel better about your decision.
     
  9. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    A lot of GPs are anti home birth unfortunately. Ironically my home birth group is attended by a GP who had 2 home births AND was considered high risk herself! She's quite a good person to have in the group!

    It's a shame the GP said all this in front of your OH. It's quite unusual to deal with GPs at all during pregnancy these days....they are after all not involved with either low or high risk pregnancies and will have limited expertise. A client of mine went to talk to her GP about her group strep B status and he had to google it.....:doh:

    I recommend going along to your local home birth group. Midwives (who ARE the experts in normal pregnancy NOT GPs) are usually there to ask questions along with other experienced birth workers and people planning or who have had home births. There is a lovely active group in Greater Manchester .

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/164193296968567/?ref=ts
     
  10. punk_pig

    punk_pig Guest

    I actually think I would have got MORE monitoring with a home birth as would have a dedicated midwife in my home once I seemed to be progressing. As it was there were no delivery suites available when I arrived in hospital at 4-5 cm and by the time one was free my contractions had slowed down so they put me on a side ward instead. There I did not have a dedicated midwife, was monitored twice in 8hrs and only examined when I asked to go home. I did go home again and did the rest of my labour up to 9cm dilated in my own home - which of course means zero monitoring!

    It's odd we all have the impression that hospital births will be safer because of all the equipment but they encourage you do as much labouring as you can cope with in the comfort of your own home so really you may as well have a home birth with the option of being taken to hospital if complications are detected (obviously if you live hours away from a hospital you might not want to do this).
     
  11. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    That's absolutely true. You DO get monitored more closely at home. Firstly because you have dedicated midwives who don't have to run between 3/4/5/8 other labouring women and secondly because they are actually MUCH more cautious at home. If they see something they're not happy with (most issues come with quite a lot of build up and warning signs) then they act sooner than mws in hospital who will push it for as long as they can before acting. By being at home you immediately decrease the risk of c section.....
     
  12. karla1

    karla1 proud mummy of 1

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    i did try to tell him my MW had told me exactly what you have just said and his response to that was

    "well thats nurses opinions for you"

    i really wish i could have recorded the conversation when i look back now it was laughable really but at the time it made me sooo mad and now i am having to try and talk OH round again :dohh:
     
  13. punk_pig

    punk_pig Guest

    Hmmmm GP - General Practitioner, or Midwife i.e specialist in all things birth and baby! I know who I'd trust. Has the GP even attended ANY sort of birth...
     
  14. karla1

    karla1 proud mummy of 1

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    surely the only person expressing OPINION rather than actual facts is him!

    my midwife is lovely and i trust her to do the right thing by me and my baby but this sexist, old, stuck up his own arse GP really got to me (maybe its because of my hormones)

    what i would like to know is can he actually say things like he did? i would have thought it would break some ethics code or something telling a pregnant women she is going to be responsible for killing her baby just because she wants a home birth. i didnt think docs could use such harsh scare tactics especially without having hard facts to back them up
     
  15. ljo1984

    ljo1984 2DDs,2angels <3

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    I wouldn't even bother with the gp, take your oh to see your mw and have the same conversation and he'll get much more realistic answers! Why do they always see such negitivitiy in anything natural! I'm a nurse and a few Drs at work who asked if I was having the baby at that hospital turned their nose up when I said I was staying at home!! Especially the consultant who actually said urgh and pulled a disgusted face! When I looked at her she hesitated a few moments and said think of the mess!! And changed subjects! They drive me mad lol, although I'll be diplomatic and say I'm sure there are a few out there all for it!
    Also re: the cord wrapped around the neck, it's quite common and the mw knows what's she's doing and it's usually sorted before baby's fully out anyway so again he's talking crap. Really hope he doesn't put you off the birth you want, but definatly see a mw about it and talk through the concerns he's planted in yours and pj's mind. Xxx
     
  16. Amelia Pond

    Amelia Pond Well-Known Member

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    It sounds like your GP went to the same school of sensitivity as my midwife, who told me that I would bleed to death or baby would get stuck if I had a homebirth...as i have large babies and this being my fourth birth puts me at 'high risk'.....I can understand your OH fretting, my midwife has left me pretty shaken up.
     
  17. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

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    You also have to remember that for some Drs and even mws and ESPECIALLY obstetricians, you wanting to give birth at home goes against their whole belief system and reality. They need to think you NEED them. Where would they be left if everyone saw themselves as the experts in their own bodies....
     
  18. Charlie_x

    Charlie_x Well-Known Member

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    Hi, i had a homebirth with my 2nd son and i was constantly monitered the midwife had her own heartbeat monitor with her and she continusally checked on baby through out and also if a problem did arise they would have all the aproreate equitement should she need to say resusatate your baby or whatever - Your gp sounds like a total ass!!
     
  19. dustbunny

    dustbunny mummy bird

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    First time births tend to be more drawn out so if... and its a big if... anything does go wrong there is a little more time to 'play' about with. Also a lot of babies have the cord wrapped around their necks and there are various ways to still have a home birth even if this is the case with you. The midwife could cut the cord early, although this does pose problems re breathing as baby can't breath outside until its shoulders are out. The cord could be pushed out of the way, although this means a little root around by the MW internally etc. Or she could unloop the baby as it is born.

    Also... having a home birth could be more relaxing for a first time mum as you are in surroundings you understand and can go at a more relaxed pace.

    Basically your doctor needs a kick up the ass and a good slap about the face! Metaphorically only though!
     
  20. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Well-Known Member

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    My son had the cord wrapped around the neck... and I had complications and was closely monitored in hospital but they still didn't notice until he came out. The doc just unwrapped the cord around the baby and he was absolutely fine (midwife at home birth could easily do the same). So not really sure what your GP is talking about... Don't let them bully you!
     

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