My IVF (ICSI) diary

[Loula]

Welcome back FJL so what's the plans for the next couple of weeks? Are you working? taking it easy? planning lots to do to keep you occupied?

How did you find the treatment?

 

[pixielou]

Hi FJL, welcome back and hope your well. Best of luck to you!!!!X

 

[ktsl123]

HI FJl,

I remember you from when I first joined this site about a year ago. I remember reading about your struggles back then and now I see that you have gone through ivf and I am so happy for you!! I hope so much that you get your bfp this month!

 

[FJL]

Loula - this whole process is half what I thought it would be and half unexpected. When someone says to you 'you cannot possibly prepare yourself completely for IVF' it is a very true statement. Thats what I have found. I did so much reading, knew every stage, knew of complications etc but I had no idea it would be like it was. It was much more intense than I thought. I had no idea that EVERY day was D day. That things could be great one day and go up in smoke another. I just thought it would be - shots, scans, blood testsk, EPU, ET, TWW. And it is, but with so much more in between.

The shots weren't as bad as what I thought - the side effects weren't as bad as what I thought. The emotions that came with possible cancellation and all of that stuff was WAY worse than what I thought. The EPU was much worse that what I thought (I was awake though and only had light sedation and local anaesthetic) the recovery from EPU was nothing like I imagined. I thought i'd be a bit sore then fine after a few days, but truth be told, I was in quite a lot of pain. Today is a week later and I feel pretty good now except for the bloating and occassional cramping.

ET was different to how I imagined. Well, it is like a pap smear and that was ok, but I feel nothing like I thought I would. I thought i'd feel this instant maternal feelings but honestly I feel exactly the same, like I don't even have an embryo inside of me! I think that part is just being too scared to be excited. I know if I got a BFP I would be absolutely on top of the world.

But yes, it really has been an emotional rollercoaster thats for sure. If this doesn't work and our 1 and only frozen doesn't work, would I do it all again? Absolutely. At least next time I will know what to expect and will be a little more ready for all these crazy ups and downs.

Oh Lou, forgot to add that I am working tomorrow (monday) thursday and friday and then I don't have to work until the following thursday, so I will have 4-5 off days leading up to BT which will probably do my head in! But then I also have 1 full day to myself (which DH is getting off to) to celebrate or work out the next step before heading back to work.

 

[maz]

Thanks for your thoughts about the whole process. We are about to see a private consultant to start our IVF hopefully within the next couple of months. I've done quite a bit of research, but it's great to be able to hear first hand about the bits that they don't tell you about.

I really, really hope that this is it for you and your DH, and that neither of you have to go through the emotional turmoil of doing it all again.

 

[Loula]

Argh why does the screen keep going wide in here?!!!!

Thanks for the extra info FJL, it's the egg collection that I am particularly worrying about I'll be away when you get your results so I wish you all the luck in the world xxx and hope I come back to some great news

 

[FJL]

Oh Lou I hope I didn't scare you about EPU hun!!!

Have you had a lap before? If so, you know that pain you have after the drugs wear off? Well for me, it was similar to that, accompanied by pelvic AND vaginal shooting pains and cramps, they're the worst! You will be fine though, you get through it, you have to! But everyone is different. A girl I know is right as rain the day after EPU and she's had 3!

 

[maz]

Argh why does the screen keep going wide in here?!!!!

Thanks for the extra info FJL, it's the egg collection that I am particularly worrying about I'll be away when you get your results so I wish you all the luck in the world xxx and hope I come back to some great news

I know what you mean Loula - scrolling left and right makes my eyes go funny and makes me feel a tad sick. Why does it do that anyway?

I'm also worried about the EC - that's when I feel its bad doing research - I get myself all worried and panicky - but I guess in the long run it'll be totally worth it. I wonder if you could be properly put to sleep while they do that bit???

 

[Sinead]

Thanks for the insight and wishing you all the positive vibes in the world for the next stage for your journey xxxx

 

[Beckic]

Just wanted to say I'll be thinking of you over the next few days - and that I really really hope this is it for u.

bx x x