mommy4102012
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- Aug 14, 2012
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Hi everybody. I didn't know if I would even want to be apart of a support forum, but I think it will help my grieving. There are just some things you can't do alone, right? Anyway- here is my story.
I got married on October 10, 2010 to my amazing husband, Ryan. We immediately wanted to start trying to have a family. About 4 weeks after our honeymoon, I took a pregnancy test that came out positive. A very faint positive line, but still positive. Not even two days later, I started cramping horribly, and bleeding heavily. It was the biggest heartbreak at the time. We kept trying and trying for a year or more, when finally I decided to see a fertility doctor to make sure everything was functioning right. We checked out just fine, but the doctor wanted to put us on a hormone medicine called Chlomid. After 3 months of being on Chlomid, I found out I was pregnant again! It was so exciting! We went in every two weeks to check on things, and time went by and before we knew it, we were at week 15 and the doctor wanted to try and look for the sex. We were having a little girl! We named her Laila Marie We went and bought her outfits, bows, shoes, all within 5 days! It's safe to say, we were a little excited! Then all of a sudden on Easter afternoon, I started feeling very feverish.. and my back began to ache.. and severe cramping started. It became hard to urinate. I thought maybe I was stretching again and maybe I had a UTI. I have been cursed with UTI's since I was 10 years old. So that next morning at 8 a.m., I called my doctors office and they asked me to come in and said they would take a urine sample and give me some antibiotics. When I got into the room, the doctor told me he wanted to do a routine ultrasound to make sure baby was still okay and that my infection wasn't something more serious. But when he went to listen to her heartbeat.. there wasn't one. And when we watched her on the screen, our once super spunky wild child, was surprisingly still.. She was gone. I went in that night and started labor. The next morning Laila was born. It was 5:10 a.m. She was 2 ounces and 6 inches long. Beautiful. But still, and so so tiny. It's been 18 weeks now since my baby went to be with Jesus. And it seems to hurt even more now than it did then.. I get so angry. I can't be around pregnant woman right now. I don't feel like me anymore. I feel like I died the day my baby did. I just wish nobody had to feel the way us woman and men do when we lose our children.
I got married on October 10, 2010 to my amazing husband, Ryan. We immediately wanted to start trying to have a family. About 4 weeks after our honeymoon, I took a pregnancy test that came out positive. A very faint positive line, but still positive. Not even two days later, I started cramping horribly, and bleeding heavily. It was the biggest heartbreak at the time. We kept trying and trying for a year or more, when finally I decided to see a fertility doctor to make sure everything was functioning right. We checked out just fine, but the doctor wanted to put us on a hormone medicine called Chlomid. After 3 months of being on Chlomid, I found out I was pregnant again! It was so exciting! We went in every two weeks to check on things, and time went by and before we knew it, we were at week 15 and the doctor wanted to try and look for the sex. We were having a little girl! We named her Laila Marie We went and bought her outfits, bows, shoes, all within 5 days! It's safe to say, we were a little excited! Then all of a sudden on Easter afternoon, I started feeling very feverish.. and my back began to ache.. and severe cramping started. It became hard to urinate. I thought maybe I was stretching again and maybe I had a UTI. I have been cursed with UTI's since I was 10 years old. So that next morning at 8 a.m., I called my doctors office and they asked me to come in and said they would take a urine sample and give me some antibiotics. When I got into the room, the doctor told me he wanted to do a routine ultrasound to make sure baby was still okay and that my infection wasn't something more serious. But when he went to listen to her heartbeat.. there wasn't one. And when we watched her on the screen, our once super spunky wild child, was surprisingly still.. She was gone. I went in that night and started labor. The next morning Laila was born. It was 5:10 a.m. She was 2 ounces and 6 inches long. Beautiful. But still, and so so tiny. It's been 18 weeks now since my baby went to be with Jesus. And it seems to hurt even more now than it did then.. I get so angry. I can't be around pregnant woman right now. I don't feel like me anymore. I feel like I died the day my baby did. I just wish nobody had to feel the way us woman and men do when we lose our children.