MY OWN sister CALLED ME SELFISH......

[jacky24]

REASON: I refuse to attend any babyshowers.....

REASONS FOR NOT WANTING TO GO: I am trully happy for my friends and cousin whom are all due this year( March/April/Mei/June)( Note all boys)but have i not suffered enough.... They all have what i so desperately want and i am also still very RAW over CJ...
One friend also lost her baby when i just found out in 2006 i was expecting.. And i never expected her to come to my shower and she didn't she sent a gift... but now in 2weeks it is hers and my MIL is giving me uphill and asking me WHY?????

SO MY SISTER: She said im just being F(*&ing selfish as i must just remember no one is going to ever come to mine again if i am going to be like this... I in any case don't want to ever have a babyshower before birth again i want mine after birth thank you very much!!!!!!!!

Now we are talking but THAT HURT!!!!!!!!!

 

[celine]

im so sorry Jax I do understand what you are saying though and totally agree!

 

[Ju_bubbs]

I know I dont belong in this section, but I just wanted to say that I think your sister is awful! One of my friends had a baby last week, and invited everyone round to coo over him, I really didn't want to go and hold someone elses newborn but sent a gift... they completely understood! I wouldn't even imagine considering going if I'd been through what you have!

 

[ellie]

ditto ... I am so sorry for that, it still amazes me how people totally fail to understand or (apparently) have any empathy .... I don't think you are being selfish, isn't it selfish of her/them to expect you to suffer through something like that? I would be exactly the same.

 

[FEDup1981]

Aw Jacky - ur sister is the one who is selfish for saying things like that. Its not surprising you dont want to attend. I dont think i could either.
Is this ur first month on clomid btw? Hopefully this is ur month then eh?! x


Sorry to hijack ur thread - but i posted in the girly sanc about putting TTC on hold this month because of my health problems, and somebody suggested getting a puppy, cos they are like babies at first!

I took it on the chin.

 

[charveyron]

Hun I know how those words hurt, just after my MC (about a week in fact) in march my mum came round and told me that my sisters hubbys vasectomy had failed (she had 4 kids already and didn't want any more hence the vasectomey!) and she had just found out she was 24 weeks pg and when I burst into tears my mum told me I needed to stop being selfish!!! Those words are like a knife in your back when you're grieving. So sorry that you had it said to you, I know it's hard but try to ignore nasty comments, it doesn't matter ehat anyone else thinks

 

[HAYS]

Aw sorry hun, thats not nice is it, you are not selfish atall, i totally understand where your coming from xxx

 

[Nathyrra]

Oh god that annoys the hell out of me. Seriously most of the human race should look up 'empathy' in the dictionary.

You are absolutely not selfish. You are mourning, and you need to do whatever it takes to keep yourself up. Pay no mind to your silly sister, she has absolutely no idea what it's been like for you.

I'm also steering clear of meetings with people I know that are pregnant. I am not going to pretend everything's ok, when it's not. I don't feel guilty about it anymore.

 

[tracybirduk]

Jacky ((((HUGS)))).
I am so sorry that your sister is being such a C*w! Wow she has obviously never been through anything that even comes close to what you have. Have you tried asking her to think about what it would feel like if that had been her child, sometimes it puts it in perspective. She needs to back off and give you some space to allow you to choose what is right for you at the moment.
One day you may want to go to showers and share in others joy, but right now it hurts too much and you are unable to put yourself in that position - its like asking someone who has broken their leg to run a marathon!
Just wanted to send you love and hugs and hope that you sister learns to keep her foot outta her mouth lol!
Tracy xxx

 

[chefamy1122]

You are NOT being selfish. Your sister should be more understanding and show some f*cking compassion!

 

[Mynxie]

You're not selfish huni.

 

[Helen_26]

You're not being selfish at all hun. You would think that your sister would understand how you feel about this and have a little sensitivity towards you.

 

[BizyBee]

You are NOT selfish. I would do the same in your position. You have a right to feel the way you do...

 

[DiddyDons]

(((((((()))))))) I can understand totally! Your sister should understand of all people

 

[bird24]

you are definity not selfish

 

[Trying4ever]

you know sometimes people are just bitches and they do it on purpose.....i will snort at my SIL when I see that she is so uncomfortable with her fat baby bump.....sayng thank gooood i'm not pregnant....thats on my off days when i hate her so much for being preg and not me....its not her fault ...just me being a bitch.....in the same way, i think people that are preg and can see that you are having a hard time may also rub it in your face ..........make sense??.....theres just no right or wrong so like nathyrra now i dont give a shit and will do what makes me feel better.

You should go to the baby shower if you want to not cos you feel forced to...thats so fake.

 

[miel]

people should not force you to do anything you don't want to do....it's only up to you to do what is the best for you...

 

[Jan34]

Sorry you're sister is givingyou such a hard time. She shouldn't expect you to go after all you've been through, and to tell you you're selfish is just awful! I hope she's had some time to reflect on it and realise how hurtful that is.