My sister.

[JennyBean]

My sister and I have often had a strained relationship. And we've both gone through battles with eating disorders and other issues but going through the same things hasnt necessarily bonded us, more like the opposite lol as we both had issues to address and to be honest i ignored everyone when i had a few problems.
Shes 17 (im 24 for the record) and i have my suspicions that she's pregnant (or in a relationship or both lol) but i dont know how to approach her.... i really should know how to as shes my sister!!
She lives with my parents and my mum keeps commenting just to me on things like shes staying over a (girl) friend of hers pretty often - thats a big step for her because she became very 'inward' and didnt socialise with anyone when she was 14/15 and shes put on a noticeable bit of weight recently and shes looking healthy, shes also become quiet again and a bit distant.
But anyway i dont think shes going to the house of a girl friend i think it might be a boyfriend... i used the 'girl' friends excuse when i was younger!

Has anyone got any advice on what to do? would you wait a bit longer? or approach her some how now?... i dont want to seem like im being nosey but i do care about her a lot and regret that we're not close.
Thanks.

 

[Younglutonmum]

I'd maybe just have a sisterley gossip with her. Have a giggle about your own love life & she if she opens up about hers??

Failing that give it a week & ask her outright. She's probably dying to tell someone & it would be a big relief to get it off her chest!!

Hope this helps & let us know what she says

 

[dizzy65]

I think that no body knows how to really talk to your sister like you would! but in my oppinion i would try talking to her about ur own life and stuff when u were her age and maybe she will open up to u a bit, you no if u guys are close and stuff... and hoping she will communicate with you a bit on the subject and maybe try to talk to her about protected sex and maybe she will tell u if she is pregnant or not, i dont no if that really works...

It is really hard to talk to some one about stuff like that and not seem nosey, if it were my sis she would prob like not tell me anything lol... well good luck hope u get the info that u want....

 

[JennyBean]

Thanks. I think i may stay round my parents house tomorrow night and see if she wants to get out of the house and do something friday and then i can see if i can get anything out of her, so to speak.
We have an older brother that unfortunately would go nuts if she was pregnant, my parents wouldnt be that unimpressed as my mum was 18 when our brother was born but i can still see why she would be discouraged about telling anyone that she has a boyfriend.... or that shes pregnant... im also thinking she wouldnt want to tell me because of the two miscarriages ive had.
But anyway i wont know where i stand unless i ask her!

 

[kadey]

be honest with her, she sounds liek she has had quite a lot to deal with and would probably appriciate the honesty between sisters. Do what your heart tells you, at the end of the day its your little sister and your bound to be worried for her. try taking her to a place where you both feel comfortable and talk to her. whats the worst that can happen?!

 

[ella170]

or you could suggest going swimming and see what her reaction is lol..im 17 too and i would have loved someone in my family to suspect it (so i wouldnt have to tell them myself) and its nice having someone to speak to, good luck x

 

[m_t_rose]

or you could suggest going swimming and see what her reaction is lol..im 17 too and i would have loved someone in my family to suspect it (so i wouldnt have to tell them myself) and its nice having someone to speak to, good luck x

Ok so I just had a duh moment. I was thinking what does swimming have to do with being pregnant.

 

[~KACI~]

Yea i'd try a heart to heart or the swimming suggestion is a good idea!! lol

 

[JennyBean]

The swimming suggestion is actually a really good idea thank you, but im pretty certain she would say no regardless if she was pregnant or not... she like has some self harm scars.. ive accepted mine but its quite obvious shes very self concious of hers... wears long sleeved tshirts and generally covers up throughout the year etc.. but saying that my mum has noticed some changes in what she wears lately....
Thanks all for your contributions.....I could be totally wrong about the pregnancy its just i can see why she would hide it if she was.
I'll see how far i get if we have a day out on friday and i'll post what i find out, if anything lol

 

[aSh_x0x]

firstly..i would suggest definately do not ask her straight out. judging by your first post and saying how you guys arent really that close...she would probably be offended by your suggestion and just lie about it.
do you usually just hang out at all with your sister? because you say you have a 'strained' relationship and all your similar problems has driven you two apart..
dont jump into asking her to go shopping or to lunch with you, if thats not something you usually do...this will just make her anxious i think.
i would suggest you regularly go over to your parents house and talk more to your sister on a gradual process. Its important for her to feel comfortble with you, even though you are sisters, if she feels distant from you, she wont confide in you and tell her secret.
If she still dosnt socialise much with people, meaning she dosnt have alot of friends, then she probably dosnt have anyone besides her boyfriend to talk to about the pregnancy.
is your mum closer with her?...maybe to speed things up, you could tell your mum about your thoughts and get her to approach your sister?.

best of luck xx