Hellylou
Mum to 3 and 1 Angel
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- Sep 9, 2011
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Hello. Some may think it's early to be sharing but for me I need to talk this through and I think it's in my nature to talk rather than wait. It has only been a few days since I lost my little girl but I need to do this. Please hear my story.
3 weeks ago I had my dating scan which made me 13 weeks. At that scan they tried to do an NT scan to check for downs, but couldn't get a good angle. The sonographer was pressing so hard into me it was agony, and left me bruised on my right side. Immediately afterwards I went to the toilet and there was blood when I wiped. I told the midwife and she dismissed it saying let them know if it got any worse.
4 days later I started to bleed whilst away on holiday. It was not much, and looked like a 'show' before labour. I watched and it stopped, but then the next days started again, this time a little red. I went to the emergency room at the local hospital and they found strong heartbeat and said I had ectropian cervix but didn't scan. Blood was from cervix, nothing more. Told me to get a scan at my own hospital as soon as I could.
I went to my own doctor on return the following week and she said no point in a scan as I had an appointment with obstetrician coming up, and they would check me over then. I waited another week, and by this point I was feeling a little ill. At 15 weeks I began to get a fever and went to hospital, where they checked my cervix, listened to heartbeat, said all was fine but didn't scan. Put me on antibiotics for infection but then I started bleeding. This time it was different. It looked more brown and mucousy (sorry if too much info). I was being checked by so many doctors but no one would scan because the heartbeat was strong and they said my cervix was closed and that was it. Then the blood turned red and even then they said sometimes 'women just bleed for no reason'. I knew it was more than that, and I felt ill, and things were hurting down there.
Finally at 16 weeks the pain started in the night, the bleeding was stronger, and I was taking to emergency room and admitted to gynacology ward. The heartbeat was still strong but it was clear I was leaking amniotic fluid (and had been all along for the last week but no one would see it). By this point I had an infection in the womb and the amniotic fluid was escaping.
They scanned me at last and saw the baby was fine but the fluid was going and there was nothing they could do. I was contracting, and in pain, and there was a clot on the placenta. It looked like it had caused the membrane to rupture. At 16 weeks they said there was nothing they could do to stop the loss, and the pregnancy would fail, and with infection also it posed a danger to me. I believe that the initial scan I had where the sonographer was so rough with me ruptured something back then and started a chain of events that lead to this. I haven't decided how to deal with that yet.
On Saturday I gave birth to my baby. She was perfect in every way, and only passed away seconds before she was born. I couldn't bear to see or hold her then, it was too devestating, but we saw her yesterday to say goodbye. I don't know if I can give her a name. We have 2 children already, Hannah, 12 and Daniel, 10. This one will just be our little Angel who didn't quite get to us to join our family, but will never ever be gone from our hearts.
Thanks for taking the time to read. I don't know how I can get through this right now but some kind words from those who have been there will certainly help.
3 weeks ago I had my dating scan which made me 13 weeks. At that scan they tried to do an NT scan to check for downs, but couldn't get a good angle. The sonographer was pressing so hard into me it was agony, and left me bruised on my right side. Immediately afterwards I went to the toilet and there was blood when I wiped. I told the midwife and she dismissed it saying let them know if it got any worse.
4 days later I started to bleed whilst away on holiday. It was not much, and looked like a 'show' before labour. I watched and it stopped, but then the next days started again, this time a little red. I went to the emergency room at the local hospital and they found strong heartbeat and said I had ectropian cervix but didn't scan. Blood was from cervix, nothing more. Told me to get a scan at my own hospital as soon as I could.
I went to my own doctor on return the following week and she said no point in a scan as I had an appointment with obstetrician coming up, and they would check me over then. I waited another week, and by this point I was feeling a little ill. At 15 weeks I began to get a fever and went to hospital, where they checked my cervix, listened to heartbeat, said all was fine but didn't scan. Put me on antibiotics for infection but then I started bleeding. This time it was different. It looked more brown and mucousy (sorry if too much info). I was being checked by so many doctors but no one would scan because the heartbeat was strong and they said my cervix was closed and that was it. Then the blood turned red and even then they said sometimes 'women just bleed for no reason'. I knew it was more than that, and I felt ill, and things were hurting down there.
Finally at 16 weeks the pain started in the night, the bleeding was stronger, and I was taking to emergency room and admitted to gynacology ward. The heartbeat was still strong but it was clear I was leaking amniotic fluid (and had been all along for the last week but no one would see it). By this point I had an infection in the womb and the amniotic fluid was escaping.
They scanned me at last and saw the baby was fine but the fluid was going and there was nothing they could do. I was contracting, and in pain, and there was a clot on the placenta. It looked like it had caused the membrane to rupture. At 16 weeks they said there was nothing they could do to stop the loss, and the pregnancy would fail, and with infection also it posed a danger to me. I believe that the initial scan I had where the sonographer was so rough with me ruptured something back then and started a chain of events that lead to this. I haven't decided how to deal with that yet.
On Saturday I gave birth to my baby. She was perfect in every way, and only passed away seconds before she was born. I couldn't bear to see or hold her then, it was too devestating, but we saw her yesterday to say goodbye. I don't know if I can give her a name. We have 2 children already, Hannah, 12 and Daniel, 10. This one will just be our little Angel who didn't quite get to us to join our family, but will never ever be gone from our hearts.
Thanks for taking the time to read. I don't know how I can get through this right now but some kind words from those who have been there will certainly help.