lovealittle1
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The Birth Story of Kieran
Arrived December 30, 2010 7:52 pm 6lbs 12.5 ounces 19.5 inches (38+3 weeks gestation)
Our story begins on Wednesday December 29, 2010. I had a very busy day and spent the afternoon with friends. I noticed in the early afternoon that I was having period-like cramps. I assumed that this meant that baby was engaging. I had been to see Dr a week ago and he said baby was still floating and wasnt likely to engage until I was 39 weeks. That evening I went to my regular prenatal yoga class and then went to watch Ian play indoor soccer. During Ians game I had loads more cramping but again dismissed this. We got home around 11pm and Ian went up to bed around midnight. Ian knew I wasnt feeling well so he took his phone to bed with him. I didnt want to alarm him and suggest that this could be early labour as I didnt want to play the false labour game. I knew that I would not announce labour until I was sure it was the real deal. The pains kept on coming so I downloaded a contraction timing application on my Iphone to start tracking these pains. I was getting very tired at this point and only tracked a few pains and decided to shut of the tv and try to get some sleep.
At 1am I woke up to a warm gush and I knew this was it. I stood up off the couch and more gushed out so I screamed for Ian announcing that my water had broke. There was water everywhere!! On the couch, all over the carpet, down the hallway, in the kitchen, in the bathroom. It just kept coming and coming! I never expected it to be this much. It took Ian 4 large beach towels to soak it up. Ian called our Doula Jen straight away as the contractions were getting more and more intense. She told us to start timing them and let her know how we get on. Ian put on his watch and before we knew it the contractions were about 2 minutes apart and were lasting about 45 seconds. We did our best to grab everything we needed as I was not done packing for hospital. Ian called back Jen and we left for the hospital around 2:30 am.
The ride to the hospital was extremely painful and it was horrible to be sitting in such a small area where I couldnt move around to help deal with the pain.
We got to the hospital and headed straight to triage. They checked me and I was 4cms and 100% effaced. Baby was low. I was so happy that I had managed to get to the hospital and already be in established labour. They still could not admit me until I was 4-5cms so they suggested I walk around for an hour and they will recheck me. It was about 3am now. Jen arrived not long after so the 3 of us spent the next hour wandering around and practicing pain coping techniques. I was in so much pain but was managing to breath through each contraction. The hour took so long to pass. I was rechecked and was now 4-5 cms so they agreed to admit me.
I was admitted to a LDRP (Labour, Delivery, Recovery, Postpartum) room and I was very excited as these are the big beautiful rooms that you get if you are a low risk pregnancy. I immediately wanted to use water to manage the pain. Our nurse suggested trying the shower first and if I liked it she would fill up a Jacuzzi tub for me to use. The 3 of us went into the shower and Jen was directing the water to my lower back while Ian was holding my hand through each contraction. The pain was very low down in my pelvis and nowhere else. After about 30 minutes the tub was ready and we moved over there. I spent the next 2 hours coping in the tub. I tried all different positions. The water felt great but the pain was still so intense. After about 2 hours I really wanted to be checked again to see if I had made any progress. I had to get out of the tub and walk back to my room and get checked on the bed. This was agony.
I was checked again and there was no progress. I was in disbelief! After all this pain and all my hard work coping nothing had progressed. I decided not to get back in the water and try walking around and using my birth ball etc to see if we could get anything going. We tried this for a while. The pain was getting unbearable. Around 9am Dr arrived and he checked me. This was so painful. When nurses check you they just check the basics but Dr was checking for so long. I still had not progressed at all. After the check the pain was beyond anything I could ever imagine. I tried the gas and air but it made me feel very sick and very high. At this point I made the decision I swore I would not make and that was to get an epidural. I was no longer coping and was just screaming through each contraction.
It felt like ages for the anaesthesiologist to arrive. I was given an IV first which hurt a lot. The epidural itself was not too painful. Once the medication set in I was so relaxed and felt great pain wise although I felt very disappointed in my decision. At this point the decision was made to start Pitocin to get things moving again. My vision of a beautiful natural childbirth quickly disappeared as I was now hooked up to an IV, Epidural and Pitocin. They suggested I get some sleep at this point. I tried but it was pretty hard. I was getting so excited to meet my baby now!! I was checked again around 12 and was now 9cms! Ian and Jen had both left to get some lunch so I was all alone and could not share my excitement with anyone! Finally Ian got back and I announced to him that we were at a 9! He called Jen so she could hurry back. I asked to have my epidural turned down so I could feel the urge to push. I got to 10cms and started pushing around 2pm but nothing was happening. The baby was not coming down further. I tried every single birthing position in the book from squat bar, side laying, all fours, missionary, birthing ball etc etc. Nothing was happening.
I pushed for four very long hours but unfortunately baby was not coming down at all and with each contraction the heartbeat was dropping. At this point I was told I would need to have an internal foetal monitor attached to babys head. Another intervention I did not want but as much as I refused it I was convinced it was necessary. A bit more pushing and Dr told me I would need a c-section but I begged to have some more time to try to push baby out. I pushed for a bit longer with all my might but baby was still not budging. I was in agony at this point as my epidural was turned down so low. As I still had not progressed I had to do what the doctor thought was best and have a C-section. I was so scared at this point and crying hysterically. I lost all excitement of meeting my baby and was in disbelief that my natural, drug free birth was about to end in a c-section.
I had to sign a big sheet with all the risks of a c-section and I was wheeled into the operating room. I had a few family members waiting for the news and I got wheeled by them crying. It was horrible. The operating room was very scary and I felt so out of control and all alone. The epidural was turned up really high and I could only feel my face. At this point I started barfing while lying on the operating table which was so nasty. All they could do for me is put a spit pail beside my face. It felt like hours before Ian and Doula Jen were allowed in to join me. I was so emotionally and physically exhausted at this point. I could feel lots of tugging and sounds of metal clanking. As the doctor was pulling baby out Ian heard him say Oh my Baby had cord wrapped twice around his neck, twice around his shoulders and once around his body and his head was so indented from being stuck in my pelvis but at 7:52 pm Kieran entered the world wide awake and screaming. I was really so out of it at this point that it is all a big blur. I could barely keep my eyes open when I first met Kieran. I had for so long anticipated how wonderful it would be to meet my baby and I did not get those first moments I so badly wanted.
Almost 2 months later and I still struggle to talk about his birth without crying. I will admit that I should not have been so hung up on the ideal birth. I know that there is nothing I could have done to have had a vaginal birth as Kieran was more than likely stuck and wrapped with cord around him from the moment my water broke but I cannot help but feel disappointed. Please dont get me wrong though I am so thankful to have a healthy baby I just wish that I could look back and have positive memories of how he arrived.
Arrived December 30, 2010 7:52 pm 6lbs 12.5 ounces 19.5 inches (38+3 weeks gestation)
Our story begins on Wednesday December 29, 2010. I had a very busy day and spent the afternoon with friends. I noticed in the early afternoon that I was having period-like cramps. I assumed that this meant that baby was engaging. I had been to see Dr a week ago and he said baby was still floating and wasnt likely to engage until I was 39 weeks. That evening I went to my regular prenatal yoga class and then went to watch Ian play indoor soccer. During Ians game I had loads more cramping but again dismissed this. We got home around 11pm and Ian went up to bed around midnight. Ian knew I wasnt feeling well so he took his phone to bed with him. I didnt want to alarm him and suggest that this could be early labour as I didnt want to play the false labour game. I knew that I would not announce labour until I was sure it was the real deal. The pains kept on coming so I downloaded a contraction timing application on my Iphone to start tracking these pains. I was getting very tired at this point and only tracked a few pains and decided to shut of the tv and try to get some sleep.
At 1am I woke up to a warm gush and I knew this was it. I stood up off the couch and more gushed out so I screamed for Ian announcing that my water had broke. There was water everywhere!! On the couch, all over the carpet, down the hallway, in the kitchen, in the bathroom. It just kept coming and coming! I never expected it to be this much. It took Ian 4 large beach towels to soak it up. Ian called our Doula Jen straight away as the contractions were getting more and more intense. She told us to start timing them and let her know how we get on. Ian put on his watch and before we knew it the contractions were about 2 minutes apart and were lasting about 45 seconds. We did our best to grab everything we needed as I was not done packing for hospital. Ian called back Jen and we left for the hospital around 2:30 am.
The ride to the hospital was extremely painful and it was horrible to be sitting in such a small area where I couldnt move around to help deal with the pain.
We got to the hospital and headed straight to triage. They checked me and I was 4cms and 100% effaced. Baby was low. I was so happy that I had managed to get to the hospital and already be in established labour. They still could not admit me until I was 4-5cms so they suggested I walk around for an hour and they will recheck me. It was about 3am now. Jen arrived not long after so the 3 of us spent the next hour wandering around and practicing pain coping techniques. I was in so much pain but was managing to breath through each contraction. The hour took so long to pass. I was rechecked and was now 4-5 cms so they agreed to admit me.
I was admitted to a LDRP (Labour, Delivery, Recovery, Postpartum) room and I was very excited as these are the big beautiful rooms that you get if you are a low risk pregnancy. I immediately wanted to use water to manage the pain. Our nurse suggested trying the shower first and if I liked it she would fill up a Jacuzzi tub for me to use. The 3 of us went into the shower and Jen was directing the water to my lower back while Ian was holding my hand through each contraction. The pain was very low down in my pelvis and nowhere else. After about 30 minutes the tub was ready and we moved over there. I spent the next 2 hours coping in the tub. I tried all different positions. The water felt great but the pain was still so intense. After about 2 hours I really wanted to be checked again to see if I had made any progress. I had to get out of the tub and walk back to my room and get checked on the bed. This was agony.
I was checked again and there was no progress. I was in disbelief! After all this pain and all my hard work coping nothing had progressed. I decided not to get back in the water and try walking around and using my birth ball etc to see if we could get anything going. We tried this for a while. The pain was getting unbearable. Around 9am Dr arrived and he checked me. This was so painful. When nurses check you they just check the basics but Dr was checking for so long. I still had not progressed at all. After the check the pain was beyond anything I could ever imagine. I tried the gas and air but it made me feel very sick and very high. At this point I made the decision I swore I would not make and that was to get an epidural. I was no longer coping and was just screaming through each contraction.
It felt like ages for the anaesthesiologist to arrive. I was given an IV first which hurt a lot. The epidural itself was not too painful. Once the medication set in I was so relaxed and felt great pain wise although I felt very disappointed in my decision. At this point the decision was made to start Pitocin to get things moving again. My vision of a beautiful natural childbirth quickly disappeared as I was now hooked up to an IV, Epidural and Pitocin. They suggested I get some sleep at this point. I tried but it was pretty hard. I was getting so excited to meet my baby now!! I was checked again around 12 and was now 9cms! Ian and Jen had both left to get some lunch so I was all alone and could not share my excitement with anyone! Finally Ian got back and I announced to him that we were at a 9! He called Jen so she could hurry back. I asked to have my epidural turned down so I could feel the urge to push. I got to 10cms and started pushing around 2pm but nothing was happening. The baby was not coming down further. I tried every single birthing position in the book from squat bar, side laying, all fours, missionary, birthing ball etc etc. Nothing was happening.
I pushed for four very long hours but unfortunately baby was not coming down at all and with each contraction the heartbeat was dropping. At this point I was told I would need to have an internal foetal monitor attached to babys head. Another intervention I did not want but as much as I refused it I was convinced it was necessary. A bit more pushing and Dr told me I would need a c-section but I begged to have some more time to try to push baby out. I pushed for a bit longer with all my might but baby was still not budging. I was in agony at this point as my epidural was turned down so low. As I still had not progressed I had to do what the doctor thought was best and have a C-section. I was so scared at this point and crying hysterically. I lost all excitement of meeting my baby and was in disbelief that my natural, drug free birth was about to end in a c-section.
I had to sign a big sheet with all the risks of a c-section and I was wheeled into the operating room. I had a few family members waiting for the news and I got wheeled by them crying. It was horrible. The operating room was very scary and I felt so out of control and all alone. The epidural was turned up really high and I could only feel my face. At this point I started barfing while lying on the operating table which was so nasty. All they could do for me is put a spit pail beside my face. It felt like hours before Ian and Doula Jen were allowed in to join me. I was so emotionally and physically exhausted at this point. I could feel lots of tugging and sounds of metal clanking. As the doctor was pulling baby out Ian heard him say Oh my Baby had cord wrapped twice around his neck, twice around his shoulders and once around his body and his head was so indented from being stuck in my pelvis but at 7:52 pm Kieran entered the world wide awake and screaming. I was really so out of it at this point that it is all a big blur. I could barely keep my eyes open when I first met Kieran. I had for so long anticipated how wonderful it would be to meet my baby and I did not get those first moments I so badly wanted.
Almost 2 months later and I still struggle to talk about his birth without crying. I will admit that I should not have been so hung up on the ideal birth. I know that there is nothing I could have done to have had a vaginal birth as Kieran was more than likely stuck and wrapped with cord around him from the moment my water broke but I cannot help but feel disappointed. Please dont get me wrong though I am so thankful to have a healthy baby I just wish that I could look back and have positive memories of how he arrived.
