Name scenario....what would you do?

[EarthMama]

Friend has two boys...and her husband got a vasectomy. She has gender disappointment terribly from her 2nd pregnancy which was a boy. She has said she is envious that I got blessed with a little girl...now I am pregnant again and when discussing names with her, I said a name, and she claimed that she was going to name her girl that, but never had a chance...

Now I'm close friends with her and never heard her say she was going to name a daughter that...other names yes, but not that one...

it is literally the only name I can see myself naming a second daughter...should I have another one...

I think I am going to go ahead and name a girl that if I am pregnant with a girl regardless...as it's a beautiful name...and it seems fair game at this point...but would you?

 

[Powell130]

I would use it. The only opinions that matter in naming a child is the parents. You're always going to have someone say " oh I was going to use that name" or "i hate that name because of so-and-so" etc

 

[xSweetTartx]

Yes. It's your daughter and you shouldn't feel like you can't use it because of her. It's unfortunate that she won't ever have a baby girl but that doesn't mean that she gets special treatment. You have a baby who needs a name and I know I wouldn't limit myself to other people's opinions.

If you love the name then go for it.

 

[Christie2011]

My cousin recently had a baby girl and named her Lilith Rose, and calls her Lilly. The name I've had in my mind for YEARS is Lydia Rose, if I ever have a girl. I feel like the names are really close, but I love the name I've chosen and I can't see not using it as I've been imagining for years about a Lydia Rose. I will go ahead and use the name if I should have a girl.

So yes, use the name you've chosen.

 

[SaraVO]

If she is not going to have another baby then you would give up a name you love so that she can wish she had been able to use it forever? I have a couple of best friends and non of us would begrudge eachother a decision like what to name your children. The more generous and loyal thing for your friend to do would be to give you her blessing and congratulations and be happy to have the name you both love in your lives. Her as a surrogate auntie and you as a new mommy.

But if she can't quite do that then that is a separate issue that doesn't involve you or your baby. Go ahead with it. Be happy and be patient with your friend she will be happy for you when she's ready.

 

[Qmama79]

Our friends had a baby girl recently. They wanted to name her Florence, and they knew we would name a girl Florence (picked that name fr girl 3 years ago). They formally asked us if they cld use that name. We agreed. This pregnancy I'm having a boy again, so I'm pretty happy that I shared our name. We won't have another child after nr 2. If we wld have been prego with a girl, we might or might not have still picked Florence.

Of topic...never heared it but love the name Lilith!

 

[DaisyDreamer]

Friend has two boys...and her husband got a vasectomy. She has gender disappointment terribly from her 2nd pregnancy which was a boy. She has said she is envious that I got blessed with a little girl...now I am pregnant again and when discussing names with her, I said a name, and she claimed that she was going to name her girl that, but never had a chance...

Now I'm close friends with her and never heard her say she was going to name a daughter that...other names yes, but not that one...

it is literally the only name I can see myself naming a second daughter...should I have another one...

I think I am going to go ahead and name a girl that if I am pregnant with a girl regardless...as it's a beautiful name...and it seems fair game at this point...but would you?

Oh absolutely! I can understand the disappointment over the second boy, but just because she did not have a girl that doesn't mean you can't name your daughter that name to spare her feelings.

Besides the fact that you never even heard her SAY that is that name she would have chosen, it's your daughter (maybe). It could be likely she is just projecting jealousy and disappointment which at child bearing age is kind of immature.

I think in the long run a friend worth having around would be happy for you and if not as PP said it's her own issues, not about you and the baby!

 

[Misscalais]

Use it hun. No one owns a name. I have friends that have used the names i like. One was Willow, one was Evie ( i liked Eva so slightly different ) and recently Scarlett which was the girls name i picked if last baby was a girl. I'm probably still going to use Scarlett if this one is a girl

 

[lace&pearls]

I agree wss ^ no one owns a name. And it's v unlikely she will have another baby isn't it?
My sister chose the name Amelia for her baby which was the name we had in mind for our next baby. But now she has chosen it I love the fact she did and I have a beautiful niece called Amelia. I would never begrudge her at all. I might never have another girl and it would be a shame not to use it! We have another name in mind now anyway x I can't imagine picking it now either because I just think of my lovely niece . X

 

[Nerdy]

Use it. No one owns a name and it's not the end of the world if two friends like the same name. I have a friend who has a son named Ethan and I, of course, have my own Ethan. Was I pissed when they had their Ethan months later? Nope. A name is a name. That's why there's lists of popular names along with census entries saying how many were named that name in a given year.

If you love it? Use it. All the power to you.

 

[LoraLoo]

I'd use it x

 

[DaisyAnne]

I've had a little bit of name "drama" I guess you could call it over just some friends liking the same name, whatever. My philosophy on that is if someone if pregnant and has a name picked out, and it's someone close, that's off limits. But in general, you have to choose the right name for your little one and there are thousands of names out there to choose from, so if one name makes it as the name that fits your child and your family the best, then your child is just meant to have that name. People will get used to it if they don't like it, friends who wanted the name will find other names they love or enjoy the name even more bc they already loved it. Even if she were thinking about having another child someday, I think it's still legitimate to use the name in most cases (since people's name choices change each time usually anyway). Your baby has that name forever, so pick the name that you love!

 

[neverbeast88]

Id use it and not in a malicious manner but because as you've said it fits. There are hundreds and hundreds of names out there and you've found one that just sits in your mind and feels right to you... Go for it and use it.
Same would go for using a name that no one else likes (my current 'problem') at the end of the day if it fits its meant to be.

 

[xdxxtx]

I would use it and not feel guilty about it. You said the name, she said she wanted to use it. If the situation was that she had fallen in love with the name and told you all about it then wouldn't use it because she's expecting a son and then you said you were going to use it, then it would be different. But if you'd never heard that name from her until after you stated you were going to use it, it's fair game.

 

[Bella1185]

Use it and don't waste any time feeling guilty! If she somehow has another baby (although vasectomy sounds fairly certain as that won't happen) and it happens to be a girl - then what's the worst that will happen? They have similar names. Not the end of the world, and in fact, since you're close friends, it is sweet.

But my takeaway from reading your original post, is that she's not really upset about the name, but more about gender and not being able to have the girl she always wanted. If you think that might be the real underlying issue, then maybe you could have a heart to heart with her? Not sure. But i still think it's total normal and fine to use the name you and your OH love!