Naming after late grandparent

[Miss moon]

We are having a girl! And DH really wants to call her Lucy after his late grandmother that he was very close to and lived with for about 10 years. The only problem is my cousin had a daughter called Lucy who passed away about 5 years ago due to a medical condition she was born with. Her daughter was 14 when she died. Should I speak to my cousin about using the name or just tell my DH that we can't use it?

 

[Aelyana]

Congratulations on your pink bump! W regard to your q: how close are you to your cousin? And are you absolutely set on the name? If it were me I wud be inclined to check w her. Because she lost her Lucy and that is such a forever thing. But if you do you shud to be prepared to accept it if she says no. Or maybe you can just let her know rather than ask her.

 

[BellaBoo0512]

Congratulations on finding out you are having a little girl I think it would be a good idea to speak to your cousin. As PP said, be prepared for her to say no but I'm sure she will appreciate you speaking to her about it x

 

[Amygdala]

There is no way I would use it as a first name in those circumstances. As a middle name, to honour DH's grandmother, absolutely. But I wouldn't want to risk the upset even asking your cousin might cause. In think in your family, Lucy is your cousin's daughter, no one else. Sorry.

 

[KylasBaby]

I wouldn't personally. Your cousins daughter would be your second cousin so still a relative. Your family will associate her with that name. Now, if you speak with your cousin and she doesn't mind that's one thing. I personally wouldn't ask and would nix the name right away. I understand it's you're husbands grandmother, but at the same time this girl was his cousin by marriage as well.

 

[lusterleaf]

Sorry I would not use it if it were me. Just my opinion though.

 

[Fruitmash]

I wouldn't either. My cousin named her son a name I was gonna use if I had a boy and unfortunately her LO was stillborn. My mum told me to use the name anyway but it seems so insensitive! If it's really important to you then maybe talk to your cousin but I don't think you should use it

 

[Spudtastic]

I don't think i could uss it either sorry. Maybe I would call her Lucy as a middle name.

What was dh's grandmother's middle names?

 

[ikaria]

I wouldn't use it and I wouldn't even ask her. Lucy is her daughter in your family as a pp said.

Is there a possibility you use your DH's granddaughter's middle name as a first name?

 

[April12016]

I would say talk to her. Explain the situation. I think she would be touched that you are so concerned for her feelings. It also might be a good thing for her that there is another Lucy. In some subconscious way it could help her to heal....but every one is different so talking to her and asking her to think about how she would feel, you having a daughter named Lucy.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I agree with the majority here, there's no way I could use it either. I wouldn't want it if that was me so would kind of expect the same of other iykwim?