Naming your baby?

[MissingMO]

DH and I found out last week at 8w1d that our baby's heart had stopped beating a few days before. I feel like we should name our baby, but my husband feels like it will just create more pain. Is anyone else planning on naming their baby? If so, what are you naming it? If not, what are your reasons?

 

[Iwant2beamum]

I thought about namin the baby with some unisex names but it just doesn't feel right. Just calling it my may baby coz it was due in may. Cant give u a reason. I'm just going with what feels right. But I have requested the foetus back from the hospital and I am having a private cremation and keeping the ashes. That wouldn't feel right for everyone but is for me x

 

[Nikki_d72]

I think you should do whatever you feel is right for you - your baby was your baby, no matter what gestation and if you want to give him/her a name then that is what you should do. It may cause you more pain if you don't, if this is what you are feeling. Acnowledging your baby in this way usually helps, by not naming your baby it will not make the loss be felt any less keenly. Maybe you need to have a chat with your Oh and tell him how you feel as at this stage you will probably have more of a connection with the baby you have lost than him. I'm not being horrid saying that, it's just that most men don't connect until the pregnancy becomes more obvious to them. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you get to do whatever you need to help you heal. xxx

 

[aviolet]

It is really personal - for some people it creates more pain, for others it is healing to give their baby an identity. I found it healing. I felt it was important and that she (or he) deserved it just as any other baby would have a name. This allowed for me to grieve better because it made it more real - for many of us who mc early we don't have much evidence of our baby's life or the memories of them in our tummies, but we can feel it in our hearts.. other people also seem to be more understanding of long term grief if it's real to them, so a name tends to make it more of a reality to those who didn't suffer it first hand. no matter what kind of name it is, like Iwant2beamum said, she calls hers her "may baby", I think that's beautiful, it is an identity in its own right. some women sense the gender and name their babies according to what their gut says. I think mine was a girl, but I still chose a unisex name. I named her Justice and gave her her father's last name as her middle name since we are not together. I make "soul certificates" (like certificates of life) for babies gone too soon, so I created one for her and have it framed on my wall in remembrance.

Maybe if you explain to your husband that you feel it would be healing in your grief journey to name your baby together he will understand.

 

[mom22boys]

The hospital gave me a picture of the baby. Its still inside me. They said it could take a couple weeks for everything to go. I thought of naming mine Trey cause it would have been my third baby. Name or no name its still very sad and I love it very much!

 

[cleckner04]

We lost a baby in '08 at 9 weeks but the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks. We did name him(for some reason we thought it was a boy so we always say 'he' when talking about him). His name is Cameron. The hospital I 'gave birth'(D&C) was named Cameron hospital. And it just seemed fitting at the time. We also went back to that hospital after a few months and bought him a stuffed puppy from the gift shop to add to our little memory box for him. DH said every boy needs a dog so that's why we chose a stuffed puppy. For us, it proves that he was real because when we talk about him we use his name. Not 'the baby we lost'. IYKWIM.

 

[Pandora11]

We had a name we used to refer to it as but i couldn't give an actual 'real' name. Maybe if you don't feel sure about giving the baby a proper christian name, what about a kind of name that has some sort of meaning, so it would be more like a nickname, you know how american indian tribes/people have spiritual and meaningful names/nicknames?

On a different note, did any of you buy something special?

I read about people burying baby things in their garden, planting trees etc. It's been nearly a year but i feel like i should have 'something' but also worried that i'd cause myself further distress if that something got damaged in any way but i don't want to make a shine or garden(we're renting) or plant something incase something happens to it.

What do you think?

 

[aviolet]

DH said every boy needs a dog so that's why we chose a stuffed puppy. For us, it proves that he was real because when we talk about him we use his name. Not 'the baby we lost'. IYKWIM.

That is so beautiful

I read about people burying baby things in their garden, planting trees etc. It's been nearly a year but i feel like i should have 'something' but also worried that i'd cause myself further distress if that something got damaged in any way but i don't want to make a shine or garden(we're renting) or plant something incase something happens to it.

What do you think?

You could find some type of memorial jewelry to wear? Or even a keychain, that way you'll be carrying it with you a lot. I got a ring with her birthstone in it, and a butterfly necklace. Also got a stuffed piggy in her memory. and made a memory box.

 

[Pretty Please]

Yeah I think if it helps you - you should name. My first 5mc we didn't name, then I had a baby with the help of immune treatment. Now a mmc at 9 w 3 day thought I was 13 weeks. I named him splodge and always will be called that until I die and he was a boy even though he might not of been. Makes me feel slightly more happy in my heart. Me and my husband agree splodge the boy who was going to be Elliott's younger brother. You have to do what feels right to u honey xxxxxxxx hope it gets easier xxxx

 

[adriansgirl]

I had a mc last yr. at 8 weeks. We named our baby Novi. It would have been born in nov., its unisex, and sounds like something astrial,so thats what we decided on. We named our angel so we had a name to say while praying.

 

[MissingMO]

I decided to call my baby "Nugget"...that is what I was calling him/her when we first got pregnant, so after thinking about it, Nugget just feels right to me. I passed the baby early this morning onto a pad and DH and I have decided to bury it under a rose bush. I am planning on writing a little note to our nugget and putting it in the box with him/her.

 

[aviolet]

Nugget is an adorable name. And that's a lovely idea to do that.

 

[Mellybelle]

I had my babies sent for testing and also had gender confirmed. Once I knew the gender, I just had to give names.
I have an angel garden in memory of my angels. I like to buy little ornaments for it and spend time planting different bulbs and seeds. I've also planted a frangipani tree there. At first I was scared that the plants might die and i'll have failed again at keeping something alive. So I choose different plants and flowers all the time. Some die off and some bloom. It doesnt matter. What matters to me is that I remember Kyle and Evie.

 

[Twinkl3]

We never chose an official name for our angel (e.g. Michael, Lila, suzie)
We have stook with the same nickname we always had from the very beginning which is "Squibo".

I kept calling him/her a little squid at first then OH started saying "Squibo" and it has always stuck