Nearly 4 weeks after Emergancy C-Section..

[SarahMUMMY]

Since having an emergancy c-section im finding it hard to bond with my baby.. I really need someone to just make me feel better.
Because i didnt have my little boy naturally due to been back to back and failed forceps twice, im having trouble accepting that hes mine, i feel because it wasnt natural that he should still be in there. I get on with day to day things so noone has really seen how upset i have been, if ive been seen crying they just assume hormones returning to normal, but every time i pick up my little boy i just cry because i cant accept that he is mine, i cant see me in him and i feel like anything i do is wrong and like i cant make him happy.. Ive tried speaking to my OH but he doesnt understand how im feeling, he just says that hes here now and that i should be happy.. he was there to hold him straight away there for him to be weighed and everything and i couldnt even see him for the first 12 hours at least because i was so gone and i feel like ive just missed everything..

How can i make things better?

 

[Leila Fae]

I don't have any advice I'm afraid but wanted to send you hugs

I'm not having the bonding problem but I am finding the post c-section pain is hindering my enjoyment of my little one a bit. Particularly when his crying (which he does a lot because of wind) shoots pain right through my scar area and it's hard to easily pick him up or move him around when feeding him.

 

[bishbop56]

Hi,
I completely understand how you're feeling, when I had my DD it was an emergency csection at 35 weeks due to severe pre eclampsia and placenta abruption. I had to wait 12 hours to see her and by that time my whole extended family had seen her and told me (they feel terrible about that after seeing the complications I had with bonding) I expected to feel a the sudden rush of love everyone talks about when seeing her, I didn't... I didnt even acknowledge her as my baby. I went through the same motions as you, the daily tasks and pretending that everything was perfect when in Fact it was far from perfect.
I know that sounds terrible but the love for her did come, about 6 months later. I remember her laughing one day and realising I loved her personality.. I haven't got that sort of love mums talk about having with thier children but I love my daughter for being her and for her personality and i fall more in love with Her Every day, It's such a strong love that I am worried that I won't love my next baby in the same way but I am sure I'll love her just as much.
My point being, just because you don't feel the rush if love now, doesn't mean it won't come. You've been through a traumatic experience, don't think of it as less than that because that's exactly what an emergency csection is when you had other ideas of the perfect birth.
Spend time with your baby, try and have a little time to yourself whenever you can and I promise you, it WILL happen. Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure youre doing great. One last thing, don be afraid to talk about how you feel, once I admitted how I felt, I was surprised how many Of my friends didn't have that sudden rush of love too and was too scared to admit it xxx

 

[SarahMUMMY]

Hi,
I completely understand how you're feeling, when I had my DD it was an emergency csection at 35 weeks due to severe pre eclampsia and placenta abruption. I had to wait 12 hours to see her and by that time my whole extended family had seen her and told me (they feel terrible about that after seeing the complications I had with bonding) I expected to feel a the sudden rush of love everyone talks about when seeing her, I didn't... I didnt even acknowledge her as my baby. I went through the same motions as you, the daily tasks and pretending that everything was perfect when in Fact it was far from perfect.
I know that sounds terrible but the love for her did come, about 6 months later. I remember her laughing one day and realising I loved her personality.. I haven't got that sort of love mums talk about having with thier children but I love my daughter for being her and for her personality and i fall more in love with Her Every day, It's such a strong love that I am worried that I won't love my next baby in the same way but I am sure I'll love her just as much.
My point being, just because you don't feel the rush if love now, doesn't mean it won't come. You've been through a traumatic experience, don't think of it as less than that because that's exactly what an emergency csection is when you had other ideas of the perfect birth.
Spend time with your baby, try and have a little time to yourself whenever you can and I promise you, it WILL happen. Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure youre doing great. One last thing, don be afraid to talk about how you feel, once I admitted how I felt, I was surprised how many Of my friends didn't have that sudden rush of love too and was too scared to admit it xxx

Thankyou, This made me feel loads better..
I feel like ive just done everything wrong, i didnt get skin to skin with him once he was here and i feel really down about that.. Once i came round a midwife was holding him giving him a bottle so i was then put off breastfeeding and i just feel like ive failed him abit.. i darent tell anyone, like family because it makes me feel stupid and like they will take him away from me.
I feel like ive just got to get everything right