Nearly 4 year old stressing me out so much. Is she crying wolf?!

[NicholaP]

I suffer from severe health anxiety, to the point where I am receving CBT therapy for it. (Keep this is mind)

So my daughter will be 4 next Friday. Since starting nursery in January, she's had a pretty constant run of fevers, coughs, colds, runny noses etc.
When she is unwell I completely fuss over her, constantly ask if she's ok, if she has a sore tummy, sore anything! Lately I have noticed, when I ask her if she's ok, or when I try to her to do anything, she'll say she has a sore tummy, or a sore leg, or a sore ear or a sore... you get the jist!

We got called to the nursery on Friday to pick her up as she was complaining of a sore neck (her glands were up a bit). We left work, picked her up and took her to the doctor who said glands were up so probably viral but she was fine as she was pretty much jumping about at this point!

So, because of my stupid anxiety, I can't just brush off that she is playing up, as I feel that if I do then I'll potentially miss something serious. My other half isn't worried at all about her, but I have a deep down fear that she will become really unwell.
My mum has actually commented on the crying wolf thing aswell.

Please someone help! Am I being overly cautious? Would any of this warrant another doctor visit? I feel so unhappy and worried x

 

[Gym knickers]

I completely sympathise as I also have extreme anxiety over my girls health and always think the worst, I cried for an hour last week thinking my oldest had something seriously wrong because he knee hurt her for a day but she's never mentioned it since. It does sound as though she may be picking up that she gets lots of attention for 'feeling poorly' and is definitely at that age where they do (im a primary teacher) if there was something really wrong you would know by now, and also it's that time of year where they do get everything under the sun. I know it's easier said than done but I'm sure she is fine and try to relax!

 

[NicholaP]

Thanks so much for replying, didn't know it can be a phase thing at her age! It wasn't really until the past few days where I noticed that when she is having fun etc she never mentions anything at all! It only seems to be when she has to go to nursery, eat her dinner, basically do anything that could seem not fun to her! She's going through mood swings aswell, is that common in her age?! She's just taken a growth spurt also.
Anxiety about her ill (particularly with cancer) keeps me awake at night. I feel like sometimes I can't enjoy my time with her as I am so pre-occupied about her becoming unwell with a horrible ilness. xx

 

[lizlemon]

Hello, I'm so glad I read your post as I too worry about my nearly four year old (12/12) having something seriously wrong - cancer - too. I spend a lot of the time worrying about it.
Mine has been off her food and is really pale and has had a cold for a few weeks now. I just want her to get some colour back in her cheaks. If she doesn't soon I'm off to the Gp to ask again (saw Gp on Monday with other child who has lung infection)
Anyway your not alone!

 

[NicholaP]

For me, if I get something in my head, I automatically apply every small thing to it! I take 10 small things that no one would probably even care about and add them together to make 1 huge major thing! Very tiring and upsetting xx

 

[oneof14]

I can totally relate to this as well. I am the same way as a parent to my 3 year old. She recently had a stomach flu and ever since she's been complaining about her stomach. I am in a fit because of my daughter health and always think the worst.

 

[citrusfruit]

Felt compelled to reply as this is me too!! I do recognise though that I am irrational and for me this is about fighting my demons rather than fighting an illness. Having said that, I do tend to take LO to the docs if I am concerned, it's what they are there for. But if they say LO is fine I will believe them as they are the professional. Then leave it a couple of weeks and if the problem persists of course go back.

No matter how deep your anxiety, it is really important you now try to stop showing it to your LO. They do pick up on a lot and will certainly like the attention. I am also a primary teacher and it is a well recognised sin to ask 'do you have a sore X', the answer will invariably be yes!

 

[Left wonderin]

I too worry bout health and that something serious is going to happen . I think its because we care sooo much that we worry about loosing them . I rationalise it like this anyhow ans then try move on from my worry before it can take over . Sometimes its harder to shake off than others .