Nearly 40, ttc#2 & feeling under pressure!

[luckyfirst]

Hi,

My husband and I have just started trying for #2. My 4year old daughter was conceived naturally. At the time we didn't want children, and it was a terrible time coming to terms with being pregnant. Then I had a terrible pregnancy - hyperemesis till the 5th month (I seriously wanted to die!), and the GP wouldn't let me abort ( we wanted to ) till I felt better. By which time we couldn't go through with it obviously. My GP was also pretty convincing that if we didn't have the baby, then we may want one later and not be able to, because I have pcos. We thought 'what if we change our mind and can't?'

So, we had our baby. And of course it has changed our lives. Stay at home Mum and everything! It has taken us 4 years to be brave enough to consider having another - I really don't want my daughter to be an only child - after my awful pregnancy before, and birth.

So - now I find myself six months short of 40years old, with potential fertility issues, and also the ghost of the past pregnancy / birth looming heavily over us. I wanted to get pregnant straight away so that we wouldn't have too long to think about it. Incase we lose our nerve. I so want to do it again only this time actually WANTING to! I didn't have that AT ALL througout my daughters pregnancy.

Is it true that GP's won't consider helping with fertility (investigating or medications) for at least one year? I might lose my nerve. My husband might change his mind. I can see him leaning more towards the fence than I am, and it's taken ages to turn him onto the idea of trying again.

I can feel my period getting ready to come and I really thought I might just get pregnant straight away!

 

[MrsRH]

Hi,

My husband and I have just started trying for #2. My 4year old daughter was conceived naturally. At the time we didn't want children, and it was a terrible time coming to terms with being pregnant. Then I had a terrible pregnancy - hyperemesis till the 5th month (I seriously wanted to die!), and the GP wouldn't let me abort ( we wanted to ) till I felt better. By which time we couldn't go through with it obviously. My GP was also pretty convincing that if we didn't have the baby, then we may want one later and not be able to, because I have pcos. We thought 'what if we change our mind and can't?'

So, we had our baby. And of course it has changed our lives. Stay at home Mum and everything! It has taken us 4 years to be brave enough to consider having another - I really don't want my daughter to be an only child - after my awful pregnancy before, and birth.

So - now I find myself six months short of 40years old, with potential fertility issues, and also the ghost of the past pregnancy / birth looming heavily over us. I wanted to get pregnant straight away so that we wouldn't have too long to think about it. Incase we lose our nerve. I so want to do it again only this time actually WANTING to! I didn't have that AT ALL througout my daughters pregnancy.

Is it true that GP's won't consider helping with fertility (investigating or medications) for at least one year? I might lose my nerve. My husband might change his mind. I can see him leaning more towards the fence than I am, and it's taken ages to turn him onto the idea of trying again.

I can feel my period getting ready to come and I really thought I might just get pregnant straight away!

if you are known to have a problem which will affect fertility (ie your PCOS) a GP could refer you earlier; depends on the knowlegde of your GP and if they are on the ball.

the NHS will not fund IVF, IUI etc if you have a child already but should run tests etc to check out problems

a good place to start would be your GP to reassess the pcos and check on ovulation

hth
good luck
x

 

[luckyfirst]

thank you for your reply. i have already told my gp that we want to try for another child. she just told me to take folic acid. i'm going again next week so i'll ask for her thoughts on my situation.

 

[40yearoldmum]

Hi
I am ttc number 2 also Im 40 and 5 months been trying for 10 months now.
You won't get funding in the UK if you already have a child so go and get on your GPs good side, go and pay for a fertility appointment privately bout £170, much better if you get a referral from GP then your consultant will write to your GP suggesting tests and Scans. I did this and have paid for an ANH blood test which is not available on the NHS anyway that was £85 but thrombophilia screens Day 3 Hormone Profile day 21 progesterone and thyroid have all been done on NHS and the Semen Analysis for husband, granted we had to wait a few weeks. Im still waiting for a scan to check uterus but there we are.
Bex

 

[luckyfirst]

Thank you for your reply. I went to the gp yesterday for an existing appt, and asked outright...'how long do I have to wait before i get any help, if i don't get pregnant?, because I am nearly 40, I have pcos, and I think we may lose our nerve if it takes too long'. She said usually 6 months but I think in your case we'll make it 3. That's fine by me. Plus she was very supportive. So I feel a little better about it.

She gave some good advice about getting pregnant with pcos. Like have sex regularly spaced out throughout the cycle, twice a week, and then you stand a better chance of conceiving. My husband liked that news!

 

[luckyfirst]

got my period!