Need A Cuddle!

[Jayden'sMummy]

As most of you girls know i suffer from depression and i am dealing with it to the best of my ability so i dont get TOO stressed whilst i'm pregnant but some times things get on top of me and i cry for nothing, i dont no wether this is because of 'pregnancy hormones' or my depression is sneeking its horrible butt back in.

The further along my pregnancy progressess the more i miss Adam, bumps dad. i can't stop thinking about him, its hard to explain really because even though i know how much he has hurt me i still love him
I want him to be a dad but like the sayin goes, 'any lad can father a child but it takes a real man to be a daddy', i know he is still young and it takes longer for lads to grow up than girls but i have had to grow up so much an i have given him the time to gt used to the idea etc. but still he goes out fightin, smokin n drinkin the lot! i wish he could love our baby the way i do, i wish he would tell me the truth an stop tellin me he wants to be there when he is doin nothin to prove it. i know its hard for him to prove it while i am still pregnant but he could at least make an effort by cuttin the smokin down + stop gettin in trouble with people who fight with guns, i really dont fancy answerin bump when hes older to 'wheres daddy? .. daddys in heaven cos he got involved with some naughty people'

My dad makes my life hell, he tells people i'm dead to him + that its my fault why hes so messed up an hes gettin me down to the point were deep down i hate him an i wish so many horrible things which i no is wrong to say/think about your dad, but when he says that about his own daughter! the more me dad treats me badly the more i want Adam to be a good daddy to his baby, i know what its like to grow up without a dad + when me dad is around hes a complete + utter tw** so i want Adam to be there for bump. Am i askin to much?

I have a sore back, all i do is freakin cry + sleep, oh an i cant stop eatin an am gettin depressed over my weight because i usedd to have really bad troubles with my wieght (un-diagnosed anarexia + bulimia) an i have never weighed so much in my life, i no its cos am pregnant but i cant shake the fact i am goin to stay fat forever now.

I am sorry about this, all i seem to do on here to you girls is cry + moan about my life!

Rant over xxx

 

[miel]

I am very sorry ...

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

theres no need to be sorry, no ones fault apart from my own i guess i let my life pan out this way? i dont know

 

[Suz]

Im sorry hun Im sure the pregnancy hormons dont help either. Sorry the men in your life are such jerks....

 

[ladymilly]

oh you poor thing. hope you feel better hun

 

[jocatolo]

hope things start looking brighter for you soon hun x

 

[AppleBlossom]

poor you =[ hopefully there's a man out there that will treat you right one way or another. Hope you feel better soon *cuddle* x

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

thanks girls it means a lot.
it makes me feel better knowin i can come on here an talk to everyone about things + not be judged, i know that once baby is here things will start to look up (apart from the normal mummy worries ha!)
At the minute i am havin to (TRY) an hold my head up an be strong an deal with these things one at a time its just hard xx

 

[AppleBlossom]

I can imagine how hard it is, I've suffered from depression myself, but as long as you keep strong for little bubs I think you'll be just fine =] x

 

[_Alice_]

Come on hun, try and stay positive, you need to for your LO x

 

[nikky0907]

I don't have a cuddle but I have a

Cheer up,only a little while before you meet the new man in your life...

 

[Blob]

Big just try not to think about the negative things and try and think about how nice its going to be to see and hold your baby and whats to come in your life. I dont have the problems tht you do with ur OH or dad, but i know that when i get down about stuff i just keep trying to think how amazing it will be to have my baby and teaching him or her things and having somebody that is going to give you unconditional love. Hope you feel bit happier soon hun

 

[ella170]

aw rachel, im so sorry tht u have to deal with these problems at this moment in time, u really dont deserve all this. its easy to just say, look after urself and the baby for now and try not to worry about adam or anyone else. but, i no its not tht easy, its hard to get over boys as it is, never mind when ur having their baby. he might not seem it now, but im sure when he sees his litle boy in the flesh for the first time, everything will change for the better- i really hope it works out for u xx

 

[AppleBlossom]

hope your feeling a bit better today hun x

 

[polo_princess]

Awww hun

When you feel like that all youve got to do is think of that beautiful baby boy inside you who your going to have in your arms in just a few weeks!!

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

there you go hun try not to let it get to you even though it must be hard. just keep that chin up yea
xx

 

[cupcake]

ugh its not easy being your age at all and being pregnant makes it even harder. i think its natural for you to want your baby's father to be involved but just remember you are still young and one day you will hopefully meet a really nice guy who will love your child and you and be responsible and caring and supportive of you. This might be a couple of years away but in the meantime you will have the love of your little one and others around you.

 

[biteable]

aww sweety dont know what to say realy,just been there with depression and knobheads of blokes and that was before being pregnant which was hard enough,just wanna send you loadsa cuddles,and hope things start looking up for you xx

 

[BeckyBoo]

Hun you're not going to be fat forever. Alot of people snap back dead quick. My mum has had 3 kids and struggled with weight problems all her life, shes now 48, 9 stone and a size 12 and a wash board stomach. She's been as small as a size 4 before and that was scary.

So please so not worry about your weight.

As for your dad, he's very horrible to say that, but in the end it's him who's making the mistake by cutting you out, not you for choosing to have your baby.

As for bumps dad, not much I can say. I was lucky my BF stayed with me when he found out I was pregnant and he was 16. But the truth is alot don't come around to it. And it might be until hes 20+ until he shows resposibility to your son.

You sound like a very strong and intelligent women. And you obviously have alot on your plate. But remember you have to be strong for your baby. You need to be positive otherwise you could risk PND after the baby is born, and that could cause a whole new load of problems.

If you need to talk there are lots of people here that love you and want to help you. And I'm always just a PM away. x

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Thanks girls so much. i'm just havin a low point in my life but i know i need to concentrate on bump because hes the most important thing in my life! i am so grateful that i have the support off everyone on here, it makes me feel that little bit stronger knowin that i dont have to keep everything in anymore because all you girls are here to give me the lift that i needed so badly. i went to sleep last night thinkin of what was goin wrong in my life when it hit me, i shouldnt be thinkin of the wrong but the right that is happening, which is am goin to be a mummy in less than 10 weeks which is scary bu i know with the help + support of everyone i know i can do this.

*SENDIN HUGS*

xxxxx