Need a rant about naps/nursery and general sleeping hell!!

[LPF]

I'm so fed up!

Evan has always been....independant when it comes to sleep - we do a little pre routine and put him down awake and he'll either go to sleep or he won't. No amount of rocking, shushing, patting etc changes that and he never sleeps in the pram.

Between 6-9 months we were sorted and he had 2 x 1.5hr naps at about 9am and 1pm and he was a happy baby!

Then he started nursery (3 days) a month ago and it's all gone to pot. initially they got 2 short naps from him and he was fine at home but now we are lucky if he sleeps 40mins all day there.

At nursery yesterday they managed to get him to sleep from 11-11.30 all day and when I picked him up he was so sad looking. He's ill, his eyes are all sore from the rubbing and he's constantly thumb sucking. He then falls asleep on the bottle before bed which he never does and wakes in the night hungry - again he NEVER does this. This morning we got him down at 9.30 for an hour but then nothing for the rest of the day so the same thing is happening tonight, total exhaustion, hysteria....it's so sad.

Last month he was happy and excitable and into everything. Now he's shattered ALL the time, his face is always red and sore from the rubbing, he never stops sucking his thumb as he does it when tired.

I've tried everything I can think of to get him to sleep. At nursery it's probably too light and noisy but there's nothing much I can do about that. At home once asleep at least he has 1.5hrs usually but getting him to sleep is awful because he just fights it and we have to get him up.

I don't know whether to just try and cut down to one good nap in the middle of the day rather than pushing for 2 naps......

Sorry for the essay rant....i'm just so fed up and feeling even more guilty for returning to work

 

[aliss]

I'm not surprised he's hysterical with that kind of sleep (and I empathize as we went through that song & dance with nursery too). Not much advice except I ended up pulling him out of nursery but that was still an option for me.

 

[LPF]

I'm not surprised he's hysterical with that kind of sleep (and I empathize as we went through that song & dance with nursery too). Not much advice except I ended up pulling him out of nursery but that was still an option for me.

Thanks - nursery is a nightmare isn't it?! They're fab in all other areas but he fights sleep like a beast. I feel so sorry for him.

 

[Aunty E]

Mog has only ever done one nap, unlike teddy, who naps four times a day. The only way we could get her to sleep for the first fifteen months during the day was to put here in e jumperoo. All babies have their quirks and I try to work with mine. My CM just puts her down for an hour or two just after lunch and that's it all day.

 

[LuckyStarr]

This sounds like a nightmare for you and your poor little man!

What set up does your nursery have for sleeping? We have been very lucky with sleeping at nursery I think they do better than I do with naps.

X

 

[bunnyg82]

Although I have nothing to say to help you, I have to say this thread has really worried me about nursery. We were booked into one for my son to start on Monday but I cancelled his place as I was concerned about too many things and we found one that I am quite keen on, but my concern was the sleeping arrangements. The beds are in the corner of the room, nothing to block out the light, or curtains to separate them from the rest of the room playing.
I was kidding myself that my son would sleep but I think this has just made me realise it is so unlikely to happen and I just have no idea what to do about his childcare now.

oh if only I didn't have to send him anywhere!

 

[aliss]

Although I have nothing to say to help you, I have to say this thread has really worried me about nursery. We were booked into one for my son to start on Monday but I cancelled his place as I was concerned about too many things and we found one that I am quite keen on, but my concern was the sleeping arrangements. The beds are in the corner of the room, nothing to block out the light, or curtains to separate them from the rest of the room playing.
I was kidding myself that my son would sleep but I think this has just made me realise it is so unlikely to happen and I just have no idea what to do about his childcare now.

oh if only I didn't have to send him anywhere!

Go with your gut. I recently canceled mine as I didn't follow my gut and it turned out to be a disaster (safety problems, nap problems). If you aren't in a rush, keep looking around - difficult sleepers have it harde nough, some daycares just refuse to help difficult sleepers.

 

[LPF]

It's a very small nursery and he's the only baby there at the moment but he does sleep in a cot in the baby room he plays in. They darken the room and put a sleep cd on but obviously it's not at home (not that he's sleeping much there though!)

I think bigger nurseries can have a separate sleep room but then you've the problem of multiple babies sleeping/crying/chattering and I know Evan wouldn't sleep better in that environment.

I love his nursery, he has 1:1 care, they love him and he really enjoys it - it's just the lack of sleep (nursery and home) that we can't handle.

 

[Fabby]

Would you consider a childminder so then he will be in a home environment and the childminder could meet your sons needs for sleeping more than a nursery could and be able put him in a bedroom, in a cot and on his own so he can soundly sleep? x

 

[stardust599]

What about buying a gro-anywhere blackout blind for the nursery? It just attaches to the window with suckers.

And get a copy of the sleep CD and play it at home so he gets used to it? Or if the sleep CD doesn't settle him get a white noise CD? Also a consistent wind-down routine that nursery can do. Maybe a certain story with the lights dimmed, into sleeping bag, white noise on, cuddle and into cot with comforter or dummy. Then ask them to leave the room and leave him to fall asleep on his own. Does he grumble before he goes to sleep? Nursery might feel uncomfortable leaving him fussing so go in and disturb him more?

I'm having the same problem trying to get LO to sleep at my Mums and I haven't fixed it yet so maybe my advice is useless!! She tries to copy exactly everything I do but it just isn't dark or quite enough so I'm going to get the blackout blind and a white noise machine for her. And I'm going to do fixed nap times and wind-down routine so everything is exactly the same.

xx

 

[Murphy98]

Sorry OP that its stil not going well. When I picked up Elliot at nursary on Friday he had slept 30 min all day .......so I drove around in the car to give him a late day nap before dinner - and he seemed fine actually. I think I'm going to tell them to stop bothering with his morning nap and consolidate into the one noon nap. What happens is they put him down for a 30 min nap in the morning...then also try to get him down with the rest of the kids at noon but because of his morning nap he's not ready for a proper nap by that time. I think I'm just going to say stretch it out, let him be tired until noon and work on getting a decent nap in the afternoon instead.

We are putting him straight to bed at 7:00pm which makes me sad because its not much time for him to spend with us...but I know he needs it right now. I will say that already I can see Elliot doesn't need a nap in the morning as soon as he used to. For example today is Sunday and he got up at 7:00am...normally he would need a nap by 9:30am but today he was absolutly fine until 11:00 - so maybe he is getting used to being up for longer stretches. I find it hopeful anyway....becasue if the nursary can get him down closer to noon then I think they will be on the road to getting a 2 hr nap out of him which would bring him to 2:00pm and which would be fine to get him through to bed.

Sorry to ramble, just wanted to share that I can understand how your feeling. I am convinced though that our son will make it through this transition with loving support, patience and consistency. My friend used to run a nursary and I was just chatting with her about my concerns over the sleep issue and she said that it might take 3 weeks or 3 months for things to settle - heres to hoping its closer to the 3 mark! As with you, we are very pleased with the nursary in all other respects. I don't think in our case its the staffs fault really - they are just getting to know Elliot and what works for him and vice versa. The rooms not as dark and the sounds are different but I am hoping that it will actually be good for him to learn to sleep in a variety situations without the perfect optics IYKWIM - because that will be handy for him when we are out, when he is at my mums, when we are travelling etc.

 

[LPF]

Thanks all - I too don't think it's the nurseries fault - Evan is and has always been a terrible sleeper so it'll be a challenge no matter where he is.

He's only had 1 nap a day each of the last 6 days - he just completely refuses the second nap. He's totally knackered by bedtime. I'm starting to think it's a general phase rather than nursery as it's happening whether he's there or not.

He feels too young to just have 1 nap a day.....

 

[BabyGirl999]

If I were you I would be trying for the one nap a day, and leaving it til lunch time so that he is really tired. It may not work, but worth a try! Good luck, I really feel for you and I hope it works out!

 

[LPF]

Would you consider a childminder so then he will be in a home environment and the childminder could meet your sons needs for sleeping more than a nursery could and be able put him in a bedroom, in a cot and on his own so he can soundly sleep? x

Tbh he loves it there and they love him and he's settled really well already so I don't want to uproot him again.