Need advice about my 5 almost 6 year old

[cassarita]

So my son told me yesterday that he wants to die. It really took me off gaurd when he said it so I kind of got upset and said that I don't want him to say that ever again. Today he said it again but this time I asked him why he feels that way and he told me its because my sister hates him. She is 14 and she is such a little bitch sometimes.They constantly fight. We are staying at my parents right now because our house was being built. Thank god we take possesion on the 14th but for the last 6 months it has bee fricken hell between them. Anyways... I'm not here to bitch about her.

I am really upset and disturbed about what Hunter said. My heart is broken that he said that. He also for the last week has been saying stuff like "I'm stupid" and " I'm a bad big brother". Let me stress that neither I or my husband have ever ever said anything like that to him. We are constantly giving him praise for doing good things and being good to his sister. All I can think it stems back to is my sister saying awful things to him. She has said things like you're stupid and and dumb and plain horrible things that no one should ever had said to them whether they are serious or not. I am really considering asking the school counciller to talk to my son. Do you think he is just saying these things to get a rise out of me or do you think there is really a cause for concern? I just think I want the counciller to talk to him to see what's bothering him or if he is just saying it because he doesn't know how to express himself properly.


Please I need any advice I don't know what to do.

 

[alicecooper]

That's awful.

I think your daughter needs to accept some of the responsibility here. She's 14 and I appreciate that she's not an adult, but at the same time she's old enough to realise that making her 5 year old brother suicidal is completely unacceptable!

Taking your son to talk to a counsellor isn't going to help if your daughter continues to torment him.

Your daughter needs to be made to understand that her brother is only a little boy. I mean she's nearly a decade older than him - why is she being so awful to a little kid?

I don't think your son really feels suicidal, he probably doesn't understand the gravity of what he is saying (my 5 year old doesn't quite understand just HOW serious and final the reality of death really is just yet), but he obviously feels really upset by what his sister has been saying to him.

Don't forget that to a 5 year old, a 14 year old is practically a grown-up! He won't see her as being just a stroppy teenager, he'll see her as being almost like another adult in the house. He'll look up to her. So everything she tells him he'll really take to heart, almost as much as if it were you saying it to her.

Address the issue with your daughter.

 

[isil]

Oh gosh I would definitely have a frank discussion with your daughter about how she is making her brother feel. I would also talk to your son about how his sister doesn't mean those things, and how so many people love him, and think he is wonderful etc. Maybe take him for a trip out by himself to cheer him up too or something. I hope he feels better soon.

 

[Tilliepink]

It's her sister saying theses things.

 

[isil]

ah yeah sorry, read it wrong, same things apply but to do with YOUR sister

 

[alicecooper]

oh yeah I read it wrong too. Well either way the same thing stands. A 14 year old being so horrible to her 5 year old nephew is just as bad, except in this instance I think the OP should raise the issue with her parents. They need to be dealing with their daughter as she is the cause of this problem.
She's 14 not a baby, she knows that what she is doing is inherently wrong.

 

[RachA]

I would think that's it's because your sister has been saying these things to him and he's repeating it. I have a 5 yo boy and although he knows what dying is to a point he doesn't understand it totally. You son might not know exactly what it means to die etc and is just repeating things - like your sister may of been saying things about him dying.

I think you need to have a word with your parent/s. And then when you move out you need to keep contact with your sister down to manageable bits and try not to leave them all alone together.