Need advice on TTC after a miscarriage, before AF

[Pink Petals]

Well, last night, it was pure brown and clotty. Today though, it has progressed to bright red and is getting as heavy as a period. I hope it is a period. At least then, my cycles might start making sense again!

 

[MrsRose168]

Well, last night, it was pure brown and clotty. Today though, it has progressed to bright red and is getting as heavy as a period. I hope it is a period. At least then, my cycles might start making sense again!

I bet it's AF. Here's to a fresh start this cycle!

AFM, another BFN this morning at 10dpo. I'll probably be joining you on the AF train within the new few days.

 

[Ltweety]

My advice for post-miscarriage limbo? Binge watch a really good show. It's a goid distraction. We've been into Orange is the New Black.

I second this....I am not a "gamer" but when I was home after my ectopic I literally sat in front of the TV and played video games for three days. It was a very good distraction and it numbed me out...numbness is good right after because otherwise all I could feel was utter despair.

It gets better and easier though, like all terrible things...

I also turned to focusing on my overall health afterward, which made me feel happier...

Good luck!

 

[JemmaLouise]

ltweety... I have emersed myself in call of duty as a way to take my mind off things, sad I know but I find TV really rubbish so have joined the Mr.

I find the problem with miscarriage is there is no set program to getting back on track, it's all guess work and questions. it would be lovely if everything went back how it was pre pregnancy so we have a chance at understanding what our bodies are doing.

it's been 7 1/2 weeks since my miscarriage was identified and have no clue what's going on. only got my first negative test at the start of the week so now it's like "what now"... I am still getting the odd cramp... I was wondering whether it could be ovulation kickin in as ive heard some women ovulate straight after their first BFN but I wouldn't have thought that O lasted a couple days

I wish AF would show so I can have a CD1

 

[Pink Petals]

Ltweety, I am with you on the gaming. Although, I haven't really done it since my son came. But it was super helpful when TTC with him (took a while as DH has varicocele and low morphology). But retro was always my thing- Mario Bros, etc.

Ltweety, how do you get your FF chart in your sig? And does it update automatically? I see you likely just O'd. Fingers crossed.

Jemma, I had O pain a few random days after my mc, but pretty sure now that I never O'd. Our bodies are so cruel after a mc. Nothing makes sense.

I am pretty sure I am having a period. But it is the period from hell. Super heavy and my hormones are turning me into a crazy person. Weeping over everything and very little patience.

I have DH wearing his loose boxers and taking Fertilaid. That's what worked for us the first time, so we will give that a try. Also, ordered lots of cheap opks so I can test lots this cycle.

Luck to all!

 

[MrsRose168]

ltweety... I have emersed myself in call of duty as a way to take my mind off things, sad I know but I find TV really rubbish so have joined the Mr.

I find the problem with miscarriage is there is no set program to getting back on track, it's all guess work and questions. it would be lovely if everything went back how it was pre pregnancy so we have a chance at understanding what our bodies are doing.

it's been 7 1/2 weeks since my miscarriage was identified and have no clue what's going on. only got my first negative test at the start of the week so now it's like "what now"... I am still getting the odd cramp... I was wondering whether it could be ovulation kickin in as ive heard some women ovulate straight after their first BFN but I wouldn't have thought that O lasted a couple days

I wish AF would show so I can have a CD1

So when my HCG went below 5, my doctor told me that I should ovulate in a couple weeks and get AF in about a month. And she was pretty spot on...though obviously it depends on your cycle length. So maybe you start using OPKs this coming week?

Agree that it makes it really difficult not knowing what to expect with our cycles after a MC. Right now I'm 11-13dpo and not sure when to expect AF. If it's like it was before, it should come any day now, but if not...who knows!

 

[Amygdala]

Can I join you here? I technically don't even belong here yet. My mmc was diagnosed on Wednesday but I have to wait until next Thursday for a d&c. I did have a private scan yesterday for confirmation and it has helped lots with my peace of mind. Just hoping I make it to Thursday without things starting.
Anyway, DH and I haven't spoken about ttc again. I think for him, it's important for Thursday to be over before we consider trying again. To me, this pregnancy is over and has been, as we now know, for 2 or 3 weeks. But I don't think he feels the same way so I don't want to pressure him with ttc talk.
I'm assuming we'll try straight away though. We had a mmc 5 years ago and both felt we didn't want to wait after that. And now, for me it feels a bit like now or never. Our kids are getting older and the potential age gap bigger and I wouldn't want to leave it much longer if we're still going to have another. Things might change of course or he may feel differently but I *think* we're heading for ttc.
It's such a confusing topic though. I've never had a d&c and don't really know what to expect in terms of recovery. No idea when to expect a negative test or a positive ovpk. I feel like I should be taking prenatals still to not let my levels get low but somehow I can't quite bring myself to do that before the d&c. Argh.
Sorry, I'm rambling. Just trying to pass the time I guess. I'll try out the video game suggestion tonight. That's always been a bit of an us-time thing for DH and me since becoming parents. So maybe it'll be soothing...

 

[Pink Petals]

Welcome Amygdala. So sorry for your losses. I hope everything resolves quickly for you, so you can start trying again.

How is everyone doing emotionally about TCC again? At the beginning, I was really feeling strongly about needing to get pg straight away, thinking it would make everything all better. Now I am realizing that if I get pg right away, the loss of this last one is still going to hurt. It is occurring to me that it isn't as simple as replacing what was lost. I also feel like I will be happy when I get pg again, but I will also be scared to death about losing another and I will still be sad about this loss. Does that make sense?!

Still going to keep trying though.

 

[Amygdala]

Makes perfect sense. I can only speak for myself from my experience of course but for me, getting pregnant again after my first mc made it better. I think I'm a bit unusual though in that I feel the losses very much as a loss of pregnancy, not a baby. As far as I'm aware, my babies didn't develop because they didn't have the right genetic make up to survive. To me it feels more like a very, very late negative pregnancy test. I'm disappointed and hurt and scared but I don't feel like I'm grieving for a child. So because I feel this way, replacing the pregnancy works for me, I think. I'm not replacing the child of course but that's because in my mind there wasn't really a child to replace yet. I hope this doesn't offend anyone. I know that many others very much feel that they've lost a child and I think if you feel that way, it'll probably be easier long-term to grieve for your loss before moving on.

I thought that I'd be really stressed out when I got pregnant again last time by the way but somehow that didn't happen. It was like one of the worst things that could happen already had and we'd come through it so I felt OK. Hopefully you'll find that the thought of a new pregnancy is scarier than the actual pregnancy when it happens.

 

[Ltweety]

That was true of me Jemma, I ovulated about 5 days after my HCG hit zero with my ectopic. It took 4 weeks for me as I wasn't quite as far along as you. I was not expecting it. So maybe you are Oing. Did you use an opk or do you temp?

 

[JemmaLouise]

That was true of me Jemma, I ovulated about 5 days after my HCG hit zero with my ectopic. It took 4 weeks for me as I wasn't quite as far along as you. I was not expecting it. So maybe you are Oing. Did you use an opk or do you temp?

I am useless with the TTC tracking thing... I got pregnant first month off the pill with my MMC pregnancy so never got a chance to try tracking. I was going to buy OPKs when AF showed but it has to appear first. Obviously it would be awesome if I was O'ing but does it feel crampy?

 

[Ltweety]

I usually get cramping on one side or the other...and it's pretty sharp for me, but not everyone gets it. Can you check your cm? Is it watery or egg white consistency?

I know it can be a pain but I would recommend temping if you haven't tried it yet. It gives me a lovely sense of order and control in this mess. Pluse I have learned SOOOO much about my body that I just had no idea of before I started this whole process. I can't believe how ignorant I was about reproduction!

 

[JemmaLouise]

Think I might have to give it a go... this is a dumb question but how would you recommend going about it? or is there a link on here somewhere?

 

[MrsRose168]

I usually get cramping on one side or the other...and it's pretty sharp for me, but not everyone gets it. Can you check your cm? Is it watery or egg white consistency?

I know it can be a pain but I would recommend temping if you haven't tried it yet. It gives me a lovely sense of order and control in this mess. Pluse I have learned SOOOO much about my body that I just had no idea of before I started this whole process. I can't believe how ignorant I was about reproduction!

OMG, me too! I feel like I got duped in sex education in school. They didn't teach us any of this stuff!

 

[Pink Petals]

I usually get cramping on one side or the other...and it's pretty sharp for me, but not everyone gets it. Can you check your cm? Is it watery or egg white consistency?

I know it can be a pain but I would recommend temping if you haven't tried it yet. It gives me a lovely sense of order and control in this mess. Pluse I have learned SOOOO much about my body that I just had no idea of before I started this whole process. I can't believe how ignorant I was about reproduction!

This! I also felt like temping revealed so much. Not just temping, but cm, cervix, etc. I am a bit of a science nerd, so that may be part of it.

"Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler changed my life. I learned so much not just about how it all works, but also some of the history and reasons why most women know very little about their cycles. Really good read.

 

[Pink Petals]

Think I might have to give it a go... this is a dumb question but how would you recommend going about it? or is there a link on here somewhere?

I recommend the fertility friend app. It takes a lot of the guess work out of interpreting your temperatures!

You have to take your temperature early in the morning and at the same time everyday. Right when you wake up- you can't do anything else before taking the temperature or it will affect your data. It needs to be a BBT thermometer. Your temps will be low before O and then show a sharp increase right after O. You can see it on Ltweety's chart beautifully.

Nice thing too is that sometimes your temp will drop back down right before AF, so you know she's coming. If you are pg, it will stay high!

 

[Ltweety]

Jemma
Pink Petals covered most of it...try to pick a time you can stick to. You don't want to make it too late in the morning because it has to be when you wake up, not when you get out of bed. I, unfortunately, get up at 4:45am on weekdays to go to work so that's when I temp, but that means I have to temp at 4:45am on weekends. However, if it isn't a critical time, i.e. CD 5 or something I sometimes skip a Saturday or Sunday. Near ovulation time, I am very strict as well as post O because those are the most interesting temps to interpret as they could indicate implantation and pregnancy, or tragically, AF ;P.

After you've charted a bit you will start to notice things about yourself compared to others, and or compared to "normal." For example, my temps are a little lower than most peoples overall. I've been told this is because i have RH negative blood and a few other indicators. It made my DR check my thyroid to make sure it was on track and can indicate lower than average progesterone if your temps aren't steady after...I use progesterone cream now.

It also gives you a nice range for typical ovulation days. Granted there are still those odd cycles, but overall, it keeps you a lot more prepared.

Plus, it gives you something to do while you wait! A BBT thermometer will have two numbers after the decimal. If you have questions, there are lots of veterans and whole forums dedicated to chart interpretation. Fertility Friend will walk you through it and you will get the hang of it quickly.

 

[Pink Petals]

Ltweety, please tell me how you got your FF graph in your sig.

 

[Ltweety]

Log into fertility friend on your computer, in the "sharing" tab select get code. Copy and paste the one that indicates an image, not a link and then copy it. Then you go into customize your profile in B&B and you can paste it onto your signature. Let me know if you need more clarification.

 

[Pink Petals]

Thanks!

Ltweety, are you testing soon?