Hi Mums, thanks for clicking at first.. Just a bit of my relationship background.
Relationship was 2 years long, 2 babies with same Dad. One is 16 months the other is 5 months. 2 baby girls. Relationship with babies dad ended last year with brief reconciliations up until 4 months ago. Complications during pregnancy with youngest and was in hospital for 1 month before I had her and 1 month after as I had her at 29 weeks due to placenta problems.
Everything happened so quick at the beginning of the relationship, however I truly believed he was the one for me. I was pregnant with my oldest with in 7/8 months. From the day she was born, I've done everything night feeds, day feeds, every single nappie everything as a mum would. But with not really any help from the dad he was just happy to sit there and watch. Making Facebook statuses and getting tattoos makes him a good "dad" but I was that infatuated with him I genuinely believed he just liked seeing the smile on my face when I interacted with he not just cause he's a lazy arse and didnt do anything ever. We was living with his grandparents till she was 5/6 months old and then I finally had the guts move out cause never had any privacy. This wasn't due to my parents not helping out as they are my best friends. My mum has always pointed out how controlling he was since day one and I've never relised.
He's also never bought one thing for the youngest and when he did come to visit he would stay for the most an hour every other day. While I was in hospital he only saw the oldest for a matter of a couple of hours a week also. He also never had her over night as he threatened not to return her a few times.
He grew more volatile to the point were my parents contacted the police because he was threatening violence against the house (where the baby was) the police were contacted a few times over this.
In our first year, he battered my brother this was also reported to the police. And it was very very aggressive my brother couldn't even defend himself. He lied his way out of been charged despite all of the blood and cuts to my brother. And he also worked his way round me very quickly.
When we split he was having regular contact at my house with the eldest and yet again I was doing everything. His plan was to get back with me (I finished it over messages I found while pregnant with the youngest) this was also around about the first time he was aggressive infront of the eldest by breaking the door by punching it on the way out after an argument and flinging the baby bag across the room.
I still loved him at the time. He got into a relationship with someone else and was seeing me at the same time (breif periods through out till February)
The child contact was always supervised by myself or with his grandparents but 90% by me! My second pregnancy was horrendous and painful because of my placental problems and he didnt even take me to hospital because he was on a date, and thought I was lying to get his attention because I wanted him back at the time (how thick was I)!!!
Anyway, after I had the youngest and when we she got discharged and we got home. He was violent to me twice. Once infront of the oldest and the second time while I had old of the youngest. The youngest screamed. Ill never forget it or his face and how red it was and how he wouldn't let me go.
During this time he tried till kill himsf twice too.
Contact was never consistent.
I have told my health visitor about
Both times and during the second time when I relised how bad it was because it was getting worse. She referred the situation to women's aid and social services which I'm fully negotiation with. The social worker is lovely.
After the second time I stopped all contact. Social worker also agreed that it was the best option for him not to have contact either as he was under a crisis team because he was that bad when he tried to kill himself and because of the violence. It was also reported to the police, they had the texts, photos of the bruising and it wasn't enough to charge as it wasn't "fresh" evidence. It wasn't fresh because they had to do a safety assessment on how to arrest him because of information that I discloses (he sells and takes steroids and its his main source of income, selling tan injections and illegal weight loss tablets and had a fire arm) which they put on to an intelligence system and if any body else reports it then they can investigate but nothing had been done up until now.
He has been seeking advise for child contact with his solictor and applied for mediation which I obviously declined she to he domestic violence and was well with in my right too. I've also applied for an injunction and just waiting to sign it before the application gets to the hearing stage. He hasn't been directly in contact with me since mid April. However he has been piling everything on to Facebook along with his family naming he as a bitter person and using the children as a "weopon".
Social worker has also had a meeting with him to which his mum attended and he denied everything. Facebook has got that excessive and hard for me to deal with what he has put on there and after what he did to me I'm too scared to go out. And on recommendation from social worker I have been living at my parents house with both the babies for the last 3 months as it would put us more at risk and leave us more vulnerable if he did show. Every status has been reported to the police and I have so many crime reference numbers to start a book with!! Hence why I'm trying to get the injunction for the babies' safety and mine and for my own peace of mind. The statuses have been referred back to the domestic violence team with in the police and I'm waiting for a call back off them to see if anything else can be done. It's everyday. He had the whole town on his sure and rallying everyone around him. I've lost so many friends over it, but at the same time my children's safety comes first and if I have to sacrifice a few friendships then so be it.
I haven't been on Facebook for months as I deactivated it. But since the first status he made I've been keeping a close eye on things keeping an eye on the threats to report to the police incase anything did happen as I know what he is capable of.
Rumour has it he is going for half residency or child contact I don't know and some how he has managed to dig up "dirt" on me.
I'm absolutely terrified! I have all of the crime reference numbers, all of the texts where I've tried to arrange contact at the beginning of the break up to show that I tried. And all the threats and screen shot of his Facebook. Also photos of the bruising on my arms.
Having meetings with social worker on Friday. And I'm negotiating as much as I can with things.
Well if you've got this far thanks for reading it all.
My question is if you have been through similar what was your contact arrangements, if I had it my way then there would be non and when the babies are old enough then they can decide for themselves. What happened during your court proceedings and what was your results after it??
Just after experience so I have an idea of what's to come.
TIA!!
Relationship was 2 years long, 2 babies with same Dad. One is 16 months the other is 5 months. 2 baby girls. Relationship with babies dad ended last year with brief reconciliations up until 4 months ago. Complications during pregnancy with youngest and was in hospital for 1 month before I had her and 1 month after as I had her at 29 weeks due to placenta problems.
Everything happened so quick at the beginning of the relationship, however I truly believed he was the one for me. I was pregnant with my oldest with in 7/8 months. From the day she was born, I've done everything night feeds, day feeds, every single nappie everything as a mum would. But with not really any help from the dad he was just happy to sit there and watch. Making Facebook statuses and getting tattoos makes him a good "dad" but I was that infatuated with him I genuinely believed he just liked seeing the smile on my face when I interacted with he not just cause he's a lazy arse and didnt do anything ever. We was living with his grandparents till she was 5/6 months old and then I finally had the guts move out cause never had any privacy. This wasn't due to my parents not helping out as they are my best friends. My mum has always pointed out how controlling he was since day one and I've never relised.
He's also never bought one thing for the youngest and when he did come to visit he would stay for the most an hour every other day. While I was in hospital he only saw the oldest for a matter of a couple of hours a week also. He also never had her over night as he threatened not to return her a few times.
He grew more volatile to the point were my parents contacted the police because he was threatening violence against the house (where the baby was) the police were contacted a few times over this.
In our first year, he battered my brother this was also reported to the police. And it was very very aggressive my brother couldn't even defend himself. He lied his way out of been charged despite all of the blood and cuts to my brother. And he also worked his way round me very quickly.
When we split he was having regular contact at my house with the eldest and yet again I was doing everything. His plan was to get back with me (I finished it over messages I found while pregnant with the youngest) this was also around about the first time he was aggressive infront of the eldest by breaking the door by punching it on the way out after an argument and flinging the baby bag across the room.
I still loved him at the time. He got into a relationship with someone else and was seeing me at the same time (breif periods through out till February)
The child contact was always supervised by myself or with his grandparents but 90% by me! My second pregnancy was horrendous and painful because of my placental problems and he didnt even take me to hospital because he was on a date, and thought I was lying to get his attention because I wanted him back at the time (how thick was I)!!!
Anyway, after I had the youngest and when we she got discharged and we got home. He was violent to me twice. Once infront of the oldest and the second time while I had old of the youngest. The youngest screamed. Ill never forget it or his face and how red it was and how he wouldn't let me go.
During this time he tried till kill himsf twice too.
Contact was never consistent.
I have told my health visitor about
Both times and during the second time when I relised how bad it was because it was getting worse. She referred the situation to women's aid and social services which I'm fully negotiation with. The social worker is lovely.
After the second time I stopped all contact. Social worker also agreed that it was the best option for him not to have contact either as he was under a crisis team because he was that bad when he tried to kill himself and because of the violence. It was also reported to the police, they had the texts, photos of the bruising and it wasn't enough to charge as it wasn't "fresh" evidence. It wasn't fresh because they had to do a safety assessment on how to arrest him because of information that I discloses (he sells and takes steroids and its his main source of income, selling tan injections and illegal weight loss tablets and had a fire arm) which they put on to an intelligence system and if any body else reports it then they can investigate but nothing had been done up until now.
He has been seeking advise for child contact with his solictor and applied for mediation which I obviously declined she to he domestic violence and was well with in my right too. I've also applied for an injunction and just waiting to sign it before the application gets to the hearing stage. He hasn't been directly in contact with me since mid April. However he has been piling everything on to Facebook along with his family naming he as a bitter person and using the children as a "weopon".
Social worker has also had a meeting with him to which his mum attended and he denied everything. Facebook has got that excessive and hard for me to deal with what he has put on there and after what he did to me I'm too scared to go out. And on recommendation from social worker I have been living at my parents house with both the babies for the last 3 months as it would put us more at risk and leave us more vulnerable if he did show. Every status has been reported to the police and I have so many crime reference numbers to start a book with!! Hence why I'm trying to get the injunction for the babies' safety and mine and for my own peace of mind. The statuses have been referred back to the domestic violence team with in the police and I'm waiting for a call back off them to see if anything else can be done. It's everyday. He had the whole town on his sure and rallying everyone around him. I've lost so many friends over it, but at the same time my children's safety comes first and if I have to sacrifice a few friendships then so be it.
I haven't been on Facebook for months as I deactivated it. But since the first status he made I've been keeping a close eye on things keeping an eye on the threats to report to the police incase anything did happen as I know what he is capable of.
Rumour has it he is going for half residency or child contact I don't know and some how he has managed to dig up "dirt" on me.
I'm absolutely terrified! I have all of the crime reference numbers, all of the texts where I've tried to arrange contact at the beginning of the break up to show that I tried. And all the threats and screen shot of his Facebook. Also photos of the bruising on my arms.
Having meetings with social worker on Friday. And I'm negotiating as much as I can with things.
Well if you've got this far thanks for reading it all.
My question is if you have been through similar what was your contact arrangements, if I had it my way then there would be non and when the babies are old enough then they can decide for themselves. What happened during your court proceedings and what was your results after it??
Just after experience so I have an idea of what's to come.
TIA!!
