Need help with a picky eater!

[heyyydayyy]

I'm usually in baby club, but lately my family has been struggling with my 7 year old niece's picky eating. My brother and niece live with us so her eating habits are frustrating for all of us.

My niece's mom isn't in her life, but her mom is a VERY picky eater. I didn't think that's where my niece got it from, but I looked it up and apparently it's hereditary.

My niece won't eat anything except plain noodles, cheese, apples, plain meat, etc. It's become really annoying to have to cook separate meals for her just because she's too afraid to try new foods. So we've been cracking down on her and telling her that she HAS to eat what we put in front of her, and she won't get anything else until she eats what we give her. It takes her literally HOURS or sitting around and shoving her food across her plate to get her to even try it. It's ridiculous. My brother made her a cheese sandwich with nothing but bread and cheese, and it took her well over an hour to eat half of it. The dumb thing is that she'll eat food if it's by itself, but the second its with another food she "doesn't like it". For example, she will eat cheese, and she'll eat bread, but she WON'T eat a plain cheese sandwich. What else can we do? At this point we are realizing that it's all about control for her, and she's being stubborn because she doesn't want to give up control of what she eats. Anyone else going through this?

 

[OmarsMum]

Is it a new thing? Or she's always been picky?

I have a very picky eater, I just cook the food the way he likes it, & I do cook separately for him as long as he's putting something in his tummy. I don't make a fuss out of it, If I do, he will go off food for days.

My cousin is 7 yrs, he's also very picky. My aunt cooks his food the way he likes it, she can't force him to eat from what they're eating. It doesn't bother him if he goes without food for days. He's under weight & he needs anything to go in his tummy to keep him going.

I think by forcing her to eat, it will make things worse, if she's happy to eat healthy food the way she likes it, I don't see an issue.

I was a picky eater I never touched fruits or veggies when I was a kid, but now I'm easy going. When it comes to food & I eat almost everything.

 

[heyyydayyy]

Is it a new thing? Or she's always been picky?

I have a very picky eater, I just cook the food the way he likes it, & I do cook separately for him as long as he's putting something in his tummy. I don't make a fuss out of it, If I do, he will go off food for days.

My cousin is 7 yrs, he's also very picky. My aunt cooks his food the way he likes it, she can't force him to eat from what they're eating. It doesn't bother him if he goes without food for days. He's under weight & he needs anything to go in his tummy to keep him going.

I think by forcing her to eat, it will make things worse, if she's happy to eat healthy food the way she likes it, I don't see an issue.

I was a picky eater I never touched fruits or veggies when I was a kid, but now I'm easy going. When it comes to food & I eat almost everything.

She's always been that way. But honestly, it's clear to me that she's picky out of control. It's a power play for her. My brother is tired of having to cook an entire separate meal just for her. And he's tired of taking her out to dinner and having her eat 2 bites and saying she's full. I just don't get it. I was never picky as a child, I ate what my parents gave me and I didn't complain. But with my niece, she won't eat things if they're put together. We've tried explaining that it's all food that she likes, it's just mixed together (like in the case of the sandwich).

If she was eating healthy foods, it wouldn't be as much of an issue. But when we're having dinner and she doesn't want what we're having, we'll end up making her something else, and it's usually something like a frozen pizza, which isn't healthy. My brother refuses to cook special things for her, so instead of taking the easy route and giving her the unhealthy crap she wants to eat, he's making her eat what we're having, even if it takes her hours to finish.

 

[SerenityNow]

To be honest, it sounds like it has become a power play for both your niece and for the adults. Forcing her to finish food that she doesn't want to eat is not the best approach, it just increases the negative associations she has with food.

I would not make her a separate meal, but I would include food that she will eat in every meal, even if she is the only one eating it. With my kids we started by serving them portions of the food that they didn't want to eat. They didn't have to try it, just have it on their plate. My kids have never been particularly picky so this was no big deal, but for a child with real food aversions, just having the food on the plate is a big step. Then we required them to take a "no thank you" bite. Just one bite before they could politely refuse to eat whatever it was. Now we allow them to serve their own portions, but they have to be reasonable portions-- visible to the naked eye!-- and we expect them to eat what they have taken.

Regardless of why she is picky with food, the adults need to rise above and prevent it from becoming a power struggle. You want to teach her that it is okay to try new things and then that it is okay to have a taste in her mouth that she doesn't enjoy. But turning it into a power struggle and forcing her finish food that she doesn't want to eat only magnifies the unpleasantness and will make it harder for her to accept eating things that she doesnt care for.

 

[Lucasmum]

I think making an issue out of it will make it worse, she knows its annoying people already and thats probably what she wants, I dont the reasons he mum isnt around but could that be affecting her in any way

Both me and OH are far from picky eaters but our DS Lucas who is nearly 7 is awful, when he was a baby he would eat anything so I have no idea what went wrong, I do know that now we dont battle fight or argue the fact we spent many a wasted meal time with us all in tears, my child is underweight but he is also happy and healthy and for now thats enough, I make him what I know he will eat and we are all much happier for it, OK so it means making seperate meals but for us its a small sacrafice to pay for happiness

 

[Jenni]

To be honest, I'm an adult and I like cheese and I like bread, but I don't like how they taste together at all. So there is a chance she is being genuine, odd as it might sound.