Need help with napping/sleeping alone

[redbrick80]

My son is 12 weeks, born 2weeks early. He has trouble napping without someone holding him.....and it's starting to worry me. He sleeps well at night in his dock a tot in the bassinet in our room. We swaddle him, but he's almost out grown the swaddle bags. So we need to start moving forward, unswaddled.

I guess I'm looking for advice on when to start sleep training him. Planning on moving him to his own room on the weekend. Plan to keep him in the dock a tot in the crib.

For naps during the day he will sleep on someone's chest for hours on end, I can put him down, in the pack n play, on his stomach and he can stay asleep sometimes, but stirs really easily. And always wakes up crying because he's still tired and wants to go back to sleep, but can't do it on his own.

I'm thinking I should start putting him in his crib for naps regardless if he wakes up frequently. I think I should put him in his dock a tot on his back unswaddled. Thoughts?


I guess I need advice on:
* Napping - how to break the habit of napping on people
*If I know he needs to sleep longer, do I go in when he cries? Let him cry for a bit?
*How long do I let him cry once he wakes?

Basically looking for tips on how to create good naps in his own room
And tips/ advice are welcome!!

 

[xdxxtx]

Babies go through so much that we just can't understand. They were to be cuddled up within another person for 9 months and then forced out of them with no idea what's going on or what to expect. All the sudden, we put them down in a bassinet (or other), and they don't know how to cope with being separated from us. Over time, they will often learn how to sleep at night separated from us, as your baby seems to have mastered. It's harder, however, for them to learn to sleep on their own during the day when our bodies aren't producing the amounts of sleep hormones (melatonin, cortisol) that they are at night. They want us to hold them and comfort him, and that is normal and wonderful. Except we finally have our bodies back, and we want to put them down and do things or just teach them to be on their own because it's what some think is best. The idea of waking up alone, or being without their safe people, scare our babies, though. They don't like it, and they often fight it.

Personally, I hold my babies through their naps until they don't want me anymore. My current youngest is 15 months old and will sleep alone in his crib if I put him down. This change occurred naturally when he reached 12 months old and one day fell asleep on his own while I was using the bathroom and preparing to spend the next two hours of my day with him in my arms. I still hold him for naps most days because he will not sleep as long in his crib no matter what. I don't sleep train for naps at all and let it fall into place naturally. We do naps and bedtimes at the same exact time every day, so none of my children have any difficulty falling asleep at certain times. Many do sleep train for naps in some way(s), and hopefully they'll have better advice on the subject.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

At 12 weeks I wouldn't worry off bad habits x

 

[staralfur]

He's still very young and that all sounds very normal, I wouldn't even entertain the thought of sleep training at this point. I'd go to him whenever he cries and perhaps try a sling or carrier if he'll nap in that so you can still move around while he's sleeping on you. Otherwise just enjoy the downtime. My daughter napped on us until she was a year old, at first I found it incredibly frustrating but after I decided to stop trying to "fix" it I came to enjoy the time I was essentially forced to sit down and chill. I miss those days now, I can tell you that much.

If he's already sleeping well at night I'd say you're ahead of the game as far as sleep is concerned, try not to worry about it.

 

[redbrick80]

Thanks Ladies! I'm often forget how little he is and there is so much mixed information out there. I often feel guilty about the down time, but I guess I should embrace it. It all goes so fast. I just want to make sure I'm doing the best for him

 

[staralfur]

Thanks Ladies! I'm often forget how little he is and there is so much mixed information out there. I often feel guilty about the down time, but I guess I should embrace it. It all goes so fast. I just want to make sure I'm doing the best for him

Don't feel guilty! You're a new mom, you deserve time to just sit and watch crappy tv and eat some snacks or read a book. Plus you're making sure your baby is comfortable which can be a hard job in and of itself!

 

[Unlucky41]

Rebricks we have the same issue so I have been using the carrier. Who knows what happens when he gets too big for me to carry.

 

[Rachel320]

I have the same situation! I tried to stick to putting her down in her Sleepyhead for a couple of days but all that happened was that she was getting more and more tired as the days went on...there wasn't much improvement! She sleeps in her Sleepyhead at night but doesn't have a very settled sleep. She's sound asleep on my chest as I type - she wins!

And yes thank goodness for carriers but what WILL we do when they're too big for them lol!

 

[AnneD]

My kiddie never napped by herself. If I was available, I had to lie down with her and she held on even while she was asleep. When I was at work, my husband had to have her in the carrier and had to really work hard at getting her to nap. If he tried lying down with her, god help him because she really didn't like it. Even now, she still bedshares with me. So no advice from me, but I understand how frustrating is can be when the house is a mess and you have all these things you need to do, but can't.
On the plus side, though, mine has always been a rubbish sleeper, so napping with her ultimately worked in my favour and I learned to live with the mess.

 

[Unlucky41]

Rachel I am too scared when my son gets too big for the carrier. Hoping he may then like the stroller for naps maybe.

AnneD my daughter is exactly the same but don't know if you can do that with a older toddler around. At 2 and 9 months she still sleeps on my bed but she no longer needs to cuddle me to sleep! I still have to be in the same room though.

Why are these babies so hard

 

[Rachel320]

Rachel I am too scared when my son gets too big for the carrier. Hoping he may then like the stroller for naps maybe.

AnneD my daughter is exactly the same but don't know if you can do that with a older toddler around. At 2 and 9 months she still sleeps on my bed but she no longer needs to cuddle me to sleep! I still have to be in the same room though.

Why are these babies so hard

Good question!!! Why ARE these babies so hard!? Every club I go to I'm always the only Mum getting no sleep! I know they tell you not to compare but it's hard not to when you're barely surviving on such little sleep while everyone else seems to be coping!

 

[Unlucky41]

Rachel I feel exactly the same as you. My back is killing me due to my 11.5 weekend baby sleeping on me all the time. It would be slightly better if he sleeps on daddy and gives me a rest. My husband claims that our son only wants me. I think he is just trying to get out of it eh?