Need Help!!!

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by Layla, Sep 11, 2006.

  1. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    Guys!
    you have to help me out with something, i really don't know what to do!
    Long story but i have to tell you the basics so you understand the situation....

    I fell out with my best mate of 9 years back in February,
    I had a thing going with my tattooist in dec/jan 2004/2005 but he finished it to go back to his ex who he had a child with, i was devastated coz i REALLY liked him and had been trying to bag him for a while, but i understood coz of the little girl. i cried to my best mate a lot over him and she comforted me......then in feb 2005 i met Jase and things took off really quick between us, once i was happy and settled my tattooist decided he wanted me back (he left his ex) and was phoning me at 2/3 in the morning asking me to sneak out to meet him, Jase would be in bed next to me hearing all this...

    After a while he stopped but i told my mate about all this and showed her his texts saying he wanted me etc.
    anyway, in feb 2006 my mate started seeing my tattooist, and i know i shouldn't of cared coz i was happy with Jase but i hated it! as far as im concerned, best mates don't dso that, no matter what the situation, I tried to over come it but i couldn't so we fell out and didn't speak for a while, she hurt me a lot but i know i hurt her too by walking away.
    then a couple of months ago i emile her to tell her i missed her and she came round and we seemed to make up, she told me how happy she was and what a great guy the tattoist is, i hated hearing it but i smiled and said i was pleased for her to avoid another row. since then however, we haven't seen or spoken to each other.

    this morning her 2 girls came up to me in the playground (there uncle takes them to school so i don't see her there either) and told me that my mate is very unhappy, they said when they go to bed she sits and cries but puts the music on so the kids don't hear her, but they do! they also said that the tattooist doesn't get in till gone 10 every night and that my mate goes to bed on her own and cry herself to sleep. The main thing that worries me that that they said they don't have dinner coz they cant afford the gas so they have crisps!!!!! and that my mate hasn't eaten for 2 weeks and is losing weight she also said to them she wishes we were still friends. these girls are 9 and 7, they shouldn't be aware of all this :(

    guys what do i do?!!!! i want to phone her so badly but she's so stubborn, she will probably say things are fine and the tattooist is the greatest ever, grrrr I know he is not though, he's a coke head and cheats left right and center, i had a lucky escape and i want her to have one too! they are due to get married next year but i cant let it happen, she's not happy with him i know it! but i don't think she will tell me coz i warned her about all this when she first started seeing him.

    god i miss her and love her so much, i want to help her and give her a hug but im scared to phone her incase she wont open up.
    plus if i do phone and she does open up and need my help, i wont want to move away from her and i know Jase really wants to move now

    what do i do, help!!!
    sorry its so long
    xxx
     
  2. weestar21

    weestar21 Well-Known Member

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    aww hunny

    i would ring her right now and just dont mention it ask her if she wants to come round to yours for a bit and just wait and see what she says even just say you were talking to her girls but dont say they told you how things really are at the mo.

    You cant stay their just because of your friend it might put a strain onto your own relationship with jess.

    not sure what else to suggest hunny its one of these really difficult situations where their is no right answer and if their was im not sure what you could do to help except be their for her as a friend.

    as for her OH being a coke head and sleeping around does she know all this?

    sorry if im no help but im thinking of you her and her girls at such a horrible time

    sending you all massive hugs and kisses
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    I sent her a text this morning asking her if we could talk.

    havent heard back but shes in work all day or might not have credit, i dont want to belive she doesnt want to talk to me just yet.

    I know she picks her kids up from after school club at 5 and the school is only 2 mins from my house, so im going to go up at 5 to see if i can catch her.

    xxx
     
  4. weestar21

    weestar21 Well-Known Member

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    good luck hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  5. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Good luck Layla

    Sounds like your friend needs you if she wants to be stubborn or not!

    :hugs:
     
  6. Tam

    Tam Mum of 2 - PG with No.3

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    Did you get to see her babe? xx
     
  7. Jase

    Jase Well-Known Member

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    she wasn't there when he went to the school to catch her, the girls came over to coby this morning and i kinda hinted they should come round to ours to play with our kids, charlie invited them and so we'll see what happens. She'd come and get the kids from ours and then i'll grab her and olck her in the room with layla till she beats the truth outta her......or something like that....probably with out the kidnapping and assult...
     
  8. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    LOL Jase!

    Sounds like the kiddies miss you guys too :(
     
  9. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    tried to phone her but her phone was switched off all afternoon, unless she has changed her number? emaile dher but i doubt shes conected to the net if she cant afford gas!

    thinking i might go down to after school club again today and try to speak to her

    xxx
     
  10. Tam

    Tam Mum of 2 - PG with No.3

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    Did you have any luck today? Like hunting out the Scarelt Pimpernel innit :wink:

    I hope you get to sort things out hun xx
     
  11. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    the girls didnt go to after school club today, there uncle came to pick them up so i missed her again!

    she emailed me back tonight tho, says thngs are shit at teh mo and she has been crying alot but she doesnt want to talk about it, not just with me, she doesnt want to talk about it with anyone.......so thats her not wanting to admit there is something wrong or shes made a mistake.

    i told her i was here if she needed but there is not much else i can do, we have grown apart since she started being with him so i cant beat it out of her like i used to, i have to step back and let her come to me, if she doesnt then fair enough

    xxx
     
  12. Tam

    Tam Mum of 2 - PG with No.3

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    Awww well at least she replied babe!!!

    You have done the right thing, you stepping back will allow her to feel she can come to as she used to, it is just a point of getting used to eachother agian hun, slowly does it!

    Glad she got in touch, do you feel better now, at least it's a start?

    Take care babe xx
     
  13. Layla

    Layla Well-Known Member

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    i dont feel happier coz i know shes unhapppy with him and there is nothing i could do, i knew it would happen but she wouldnt listen so i walked away so i wouldnt have to watch it happening, but now i know it has anyway.

    i dont know what will happen from now on, we are moving away so i cant be there for her and to be honest if she doesnt want to talk then i cant do anything anyway. while she is with him we can never be as close as we were, and alot has happend since we stopped talking, think to much water has gone under the bridge for us to ever get back what we had..

    xxx
     
  14. HB

    HB Guest

    At least she knows you're there for her as a shoulder to cry on when she is ready to talk.
    At the moment you've done all she will let you do, and there should be more Layla's in the world!

    xox
     
  15. weestar21

    weestar21 Well-Known Member

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    awww hunny

    i totaly agree with hayley though their should be more layla's in the world :D

    Im sure intime though she will open up to someone maybe it wont be you but at least she knows your just at the other end of an email if she wants to talk to you

    take care hun and keep your chin up youve done your best
    xxxxxxxxx
     
  16. Tam

    Tam Mum of 2 - PG with No.3

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