Need others to talk to

[honey31702]

I'm not single but it's looking more and more like that might change. I have been a single mom to my 2 kids but have been in a relationship for a year now.

I am very newly pregnant and very high risk. I warned my boyfriend from the very first day we started sleeping together that if we got pregnant, I would have to be off my feet and more than likely on bedrest for a majority of the pregnancy. Now, it seems I'm "using my pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy and turn everyone else into my slaves". Never mind the fact that my boyfriend doesn't have a job and really hasn't made even the slightest effort to find one. His days consist of sleeping and his nights consist of Black Ops 2 on Xbox.

So I feel like the entire weight of everything going on is on my shoulders. I'm the one left having to keep this baby safe and inside as long as I can while simultaneously keeping this house afloat. I'm the one having to make sure this family is provided for since he obviously isn't up to the task. I feel like an idiot for letting this happen.

Don't get me wrong, I do love him. But the more excuses and accusations I get, the more I resent him.

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same situation. In a relationship but essentially alone.

 

[daneuse27]

I'm sorry you're going through this.
I know what its like to feel 'alone' in a relationship. The way you describe your boyfriend reminds me of my ex (father of my daughter.) He was always blaming me and still does. I feel like nomatter what happens, everything is always my fault. He's a very accusatory person. Hearing it all the time can really wear down on your self esteem. After lots of reflection and even talking to other people, I eventually realized that I was very manipulated by him. He would blame and blame, and I'd end up so guilt-tripped that I bent over backwards trying to seek his approval.

I don't have much good advice really, except to say that as you know your # 1 priority right now is your baby. If doing housework or whatever he expects you to do is exhausting you, don't do it. You know whats best and don't let him guilt trip you into thinking otherwise.

Fighting and stress is not good for the pregnancy either. Have you considered couples counselling? The dynamic doesn't sound healthy at all He needs to learn to be kind to you and help you out more than ever now, you're pregnant and deserve a rest. I hope you're able to work through this somehow.