Need some advice...

[jillypoop]

Quite honestly, you've got so many years ahead of you to have a baby...a family. Your boyfriend is still young and obviously is not prepared for fatherhood, which is understandable.

Enjoy being young, being a couple together and in time, when it is right, you will have the baby you long for.

but i'm ready now... i don't want to enjoy being young.. going out and getting drunk every weekend doesn't appeal to me. I just want to be mum. I can't get over these feelings as hard as i tried.

I'm exactly the same as you. Tried to enjoy it when I turned 18 but I've always been what people call an "old soul". I've always been much more interested in reading a book and having a cuppa instead of clubbing and drinking until I can taste my stomach lining.

Me and OH are both like this although he does like his strongbow if we do go to a pub. On my 19th birthday he had 4 strongbows on an empty stomach and was throwing up the second we got home. I caught him throwing up in a glass a couple of hours later and if that doesnt test your love I don't know what does!!

The more we talk about our future children (although he is still a big kid really) the more excited he gets about it! We already have names and middle names chosen out


xxx

 

[sparkswillfly]

Theres more to being young than drinking till your sick and going out all the time

 

[Bekkiboo]

As a former teenage mum myself, although I love my children unconditionally, you will always look at other people you knew when younger... being successful and think '' that could have been me ''. Having children doesn't take away these opportunities but it sure as hell makes them more difficult to reach, especially in todays financial climate!

I had no family to support me when having Jordon at 16, luckily I met a wonderful man who I am with now and he has an amazing family who took Jordon into their hearts with no questions asked and I love them all dearly for it, however, you can never rely on other people completely because one day they may not be around anymore and then you are on your own, it is you and only you who you should rely on, so if YOU are not completely set up to bring a child into the world then you should wait until you are!

I am lucky my life panned out so well, but believe me, if your b/f doesn't want a child and you get pregnant anyway, likelihood is he will leave you and believe me, being a single parent can get lonely and it's never easy!

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I felt it had to be said.

 

[nikky0907]

Theres more to being young than drinking till your sick and going out all the time

Very true.

You like reading? Having a cup of tea? Even those simple things aren't easy when you have a baby.

 

[leeanne]

Theres more to being young than drinking till your sick and going out all the time

Very true.

You like reading? Having a cup of tea? Even those simple things aren't easy when you have a baby.

My cups of coffee always end up getting cold. ROFL!

 

[Laura--x]

I was exactly like you! Infact, it's pretty scary, its like your telling my story all over again!!

I thought i was pregnant early in the year, period was over 2 weeks late, i was feeling all sorts, but tests came back negative. I then got my period and i was devostated.

The only difference is my oh wanted it too, not just me. He wanted to be a dad more than anything, he wanted a little baby he could take to the park and watch tele with ectect, and everytime the test came back negative, he was just as upset as i was.

Then it actually happened, and things were much different! Of course i was unbelievably happy, but i was so scared, i actually thought about getting rid of it, that it was the wrong thing, but that sonon left my mind! My oh seemed happy, is happy, but IMO he is so not ready for a baby, the pregnancy is putting a strain on us let alone an actual baby!

Oh used to go out all the time, smoke weed and all that young teenage boy stuff, when i got pregnant i told him things were to change. We had so many arguments, he couldnt see where i was coming from, he didnt think he needed to do anything differently untill the baby was here, he thought it was just a breeze.

I threateneed to leave him, on more than one occasion,because i found he was still smoking the weed, but each time he promised me he wouldnt do it again. Whether he still does or not, ill never know!

My oh has ALOT of growing up to do, a baby takes alot of work and care, and immaturity will not get you nowhere. I know he wont be able to cope with this baby the way hes going, so he really needs to pull his socks up and start to cope with responsiblity.

Sorry,rambled on a bit, basically all im saying is, we used to get so excited at the thought of being parents, he said he wud get a job, take the best care of me ect ect, still no job and im half way there! Still going out and im half way there!

Wanting it and having it are a complete difference in itself. Make sure you think long and hard about all the ins and outs xxx

 

[sparkswillfly]

Thats a really good post Laura

 

[pinkmac85]

I was exactly like you! Infact, it's pretty scary, its like your telling my story all over again!!

I thought i was pregnant early in the year, period was over 2 weeks late, i was feeling all sorts, but tests came back negative. I then got my period and i was devostated.

The only difference is my oh wanted it too, not just me. He wanted to be a dad more than anything, he wanted a little baby he could take to the park and watch tele with ectect, and everytime the test came back negative, he was just as upset as i was.

Then it actually happened, and things were much different! Of course i was unbelievably happy, but i was so scared, i actually thought about getting rid of it, that it was the wrong thing, but that sonon left my mind! My oh seemed happy, is happy, but IMO he is so not ready for a baby, the pregnancy is putting a strain on us let alone an actual baby!

Oh used to go out all the time, smoke weed and all that young teenage boy stuff, when i got pregnant i told him things were to change. We had so many arguments, he couldnt see where i was coming from, he didnt think he needed to do anything differently untill the baby was here, he thought it was just a breeze.

I threateneed to leave him, on more than one occasion,because i found he was still smoking the weed, but each time he promised me he wouldnt do it again. Whether he still does or not, ill never know!

My oh has ALOT of growing up to do, a baby takes alot of work and care, and immaturity will not get you nowhere. I know he wont be able to cope with this baby the way hes going, so he really needs to pull his socks up and start to cope with responsiblity.

Sorry,rambled on a bit, basically all im saying is, we used to get so excited at the thought of being parents, he said he wud get a job, take the best care of me ect ect, still no job and im half way there! Still going out and im half way there!

Wanting it and having it are a complete difference in itself. Make sure you think long and hard about all the ins and outs xxx

Exactly what I was going to say! wanting it and having it are completely different!

 

[Webbykinskt]

thanks a lot everyone. x