Need some support

[dncr1010p]

I'm sitting at work about ready to bawl my eyes out. I need some support and have nowhere else to turn right now. So its been a couple rough months for my FIL. He hurt his back, went in for an MIR and they found a tumor on his spine. He had surgery to remove the tumor, results came back as it was cancerous. Now he has to under go radiation for 5 days a week, 7 weeks long. 2 hours away from us. So my husband is super stressed about his father, so am I. But he will be the one, and a few other siblings taking him down to his appts. We've already spent hundreds of dollars financing multiple trips to go see him when he had surgery and he had a 17 day recovery, so we drove 2 hours to see him almost every day. It was very stressful, now comes the aftermath that he has to go 2 hours away for radiation for 7 weeks. On top of that my husbands work is super stressful on him right now, he feels like he is the only one that cares to work and get stuff done. He has been putting in 12 hours a day 6 days a week to try and get caught up. All of this started when we wanted to start trying to have a baby. My #1 goal in life right now is to have a baby. And I know it's his too but I feel like with his father and work and the stress its not going to happen for us anytime soon.

I'm trying to stay positive but it's almost impossible lately. I have 2 older brothers who both have all boys. My mom has had her heart set on a girl and so have I. We go out a buy baby girl clothes for crying out loud..and no baby girl to put them on. Well I've been saying for awhile, well my oldest brother can't have anymore kids. My other brother wont because he isn't stable or married and his other boy wasn't planned. So I forsure thought I'd be the next in my family to get pregnant. Then the news came. He got engaged out of blue and then the next thing I know she is pregnant. She says it wasn't planned but she told my other SIL that she wanted a baby, so I can't help but hold that grudge against her. She is now 5 months and just found shes having a girl...my heart is broke but yet I'm happy for them. She knows how bad I wanted a baby and that we were getting ready to try for one and then she gets pregnant and basically steals all my thunder. She's not close with her mom so she leans on my mom. It's really hard for me to take all at once. Me and my mom are SUPER close. I'm the only girl we do a lot together and we both were set on me having that little girl. And then my SIL walks into our family, gets pregnant and its a girl.

I work in an office with another lady who is my age and has endometrioses. It took her 6 months to get pregnant and she is around 14 weeks right now. I have to hear all her little remarks about being pregnant..and I'm happy for her. I really am but its so hard, so depressing.

Sorry this is so long, I just need some help. So on top of being around those 2 all the time. I'm trying to deal with my husband and being stressed. I told him last night we wont get pregnant if he is stressed. He doesn't understand how stress with his dad and work will affect getting pregnant because he isn't stressed about that. Well not right now, but I'm not fertile right now. Next week I will be and I just hate to even think about it, because I can already see him being too stressed to have and then I'll be upset and it'll start all over.

What the hell am I suppose to do? I try telling myself to suck it up and be strong but its hard and I don't know if I can do it.

 

[Clucky as]

It sucks that you have to go thru all of that on top of tcc. I'm sorry to hear about your fil. I think you can supprise yourself on how much stuff you can go thru and come out the other end. And while tcc you will hear about everyone being pregnant see little kids everywhere and everyone will ask you are u preg yet? Just try and focus on your health when you can and support your husband thru this tough time. I'm really hoping you can get your little girl that you so deserve really soon. And remember u can always come on bnb to vent

 

[Bear0609]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time of it.

My mum told me a good story about herself though. She tried for three years to get pregnant, a long time. Then she had the sad news her parents were up and moving to the other side of the planet. To add to that, my parents had just brought a house and it was a mess. She was so stressed out and sad, but out of the blue got pregnant because she had so much else going on.

There is still hope, we will all have a baby one day.

 

[dncr1010p]

Thanks ladies. I've tried really hard to NOT stress but it just takes over sometimes. My DH told me not to tell him when we need to bd. I completely understand, but at the same time its hard not to say something.. Because he will have days that he is not in the mood and those are my most fertile days. Just knowing that its right around the corner makes me worry..but I'm trying to get over it! Arghh! Thanks for letting me vent. I really hope even with this stress that we can have our miracle and I'm really trying to be patient.

What do you ladies do to keep from constantly thinking about it?

 

[Baby2012]

Oh honey I'm so sorry to hear you're having a hard time . TCC can make you emotionally fragile even at the best of times and can make life seem unbearable at the worse times, but like the other ladies have said try to focused on end goal, holding your baby girl in your arms and keep hope.

Easier said than done and agree with the previous poster BnB is a great way to vent!

good luck xxx