Need to Vent!

[Little G]

Hey ladies,

So DF and I haven't exactly been getting along lately. This bundle took us by complete and utter surprise and although we were trying to work through our problems we weren't exactly gettin along before I found out I was pregnant either. Add to that a hormonal pregnant lady and things just haven't gotten any better. Anyway, because im having a section I was asked by my consultant if I would like sterilized at the same time as I dont plan to have any more, my initial thought was yes but after thinking about it I decided no to, after all I have even held my new baby yet or clapped eye's on him/her so decided my answer to that would be no.

Df and I were having a discussion tonight and I said to him I had changed my mind, and I thought it would be a good idea to go back on some form of pill or whatever for maybe 6 month and if we were back on the right track for him to perhaps consider the snip.

His reaction completly took me by surprise, he first of all refused point blank, he then reminded me that we weren't exactly getting along well to even suggest that and that he didnt know if he wanted more kids further down the line ( which I defo dont, Im 38!) his words were ' you never know whats round the corner' and who's to say I might meet some-one younger in the future who want kids. Now I know we haven't been getting on the best but I thought we were trying to make the effort and work things out. His words to me basically mean that he has no faith in our relationship and planning on it to fail. We then continued to argue about trust issues ( him not me) and now I cant stop crying from thinking about it all. I keep thinking he really doesnt want to be here and biding his time.. Now some-one kick my over hormonal ass into gear or tell me you hink I being realistic by being upset....?

 

[RaspberryK]

Honestly I think I'd have castrated him myself if he'd said that to me!
I'd be extremely upset and I would have taken it the same way you have.

xx

 

[Little G]

Honestly I think I'd have castrated him myself if he'd said that to me!
I'd be extremely upset and I would have taken it the same way you have.

xx

I was ready to, believe me, at least I know its not just me then. I mean how do you react to that kind of comeback. I really dont know what to think, so basically another 6 month down the line and then what, approach the subject again for him to say the same thing?

xx

 

[RaspberryK]

I've no idea, I think I'd want a frank conversation with what his feelings towards you and the relationship are because if he isn't 100% wanting to make it work then you are both wasting your time.
Xx

 

[Little G]

I've no idea, I think I'd want a frank conversation with what his feelings towards you and the relationship are because if he isn't 100% wanting to make it work then you are both wasting your time.
Xx

I said to him tonight, that we both need to start putting more effort in. He said I've been a nightmare this pregnancy which I probably have been, i've been feeling ill most day's which leads to me being tired, and moody. I said so are you going to make more of an effort then and he said yes.. which im not entirely convinced about. I want to make it work for the sake of my children but I need to actually see its working. I just cant stop thinking about his reaction and wondering if there is any point myself! xx

 

[RaspberryK]

I think that's natural to feel like that when you'vebeen told something like that. Pregnancy can pay havoc with hormones etc, I wish he was more understanding towards you at this time.
There are lots of reasons stay together but ultimately for the children, finances, or anything other than that you both love each other just isn't going to make you happy long term.
Xx

 

[Little G]

Yeah I totally agree. I dont know, my heads been all over the place today.
I guess I'll wait and see how we get on over the next few months and if things are still the same then they need to be addressed again. He came in tonight with his tail between his legs so he must know that he was out of order by saying some of the stuff he did last night. Im letting it go for now but its not forgotten about.

xx