Need to vent

[alparen]

So it's been 3days away from Samantha. She's about 2 hours away at the hospital. I miss her soooo freakin much today it's killin me. I am in so much pain from my c-section today because I went to the grocery store with the husband and slipped on ice going down the stairs. I caught myself falling but still tore my back pretty hard and today I'm so swollen. My hubby is going to see Samantha tonight and sleep at the nicu with her. I am sofrustrated because I can't go see her. Wehave take a greyhound bus to the hospital because car is not working properly. I just want to see her so bad and this pain and stuff I can barely sit up. I wan to tell her I love her and give her some hand hugs.

 

[Dasy25]

Hey didn't want to read and run. I cant really comment on the pain factor of a c-section but my heart goes out to you. I do however know how it feels to be apart from your LO. Keep strong, please! Your baby girl is not alone at least with your husband visiting her. I know that doesn't make it any easier on you though. Is there no way at all you can access some accommodation closer to her? There are charities here which offer rooms to parents for free of charge in certain hospitals.
Take the time to get yourself fighting yourself so that you can be strong for the long journey ahead. Take care on that ice too!!! Rant away my dear.

 

[PrincessPea]

Hey not sure I can help but didnt want to read and run. Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts. I know it is hard being away from your LO but you have to remember she is in the best possible hands. A section really is a pain esp when you then have to go straight into running back and forward to the hosp but you must take time to get yourself well and strong and then you can do the same for your LO. Keep strong dear. xx

 

[alparen]

Thanks ladies. My hubby won't be going up tonight. They shipped Samantha off to another hospital for the night to see an ear nose and throat dr. The day after she was born all her tests showed she didn't need her breathing tube and she was fighting it so much so the dr's had decided to take it out because it all seemed fine. As soon as they did her lung collapsed and they had a really hard time getting the tube back in and caused a small bleed in her lung. It cleared up thank heavens but the dr's are baffled as to why her chest was so hard to get a tube back in. So the specialist will figure out if it it is a abnormality or if she is just underdeveloped right now. They put her on the shaky chest breathing machine so she still gets to do the work and since then she hasn't fought it.

 

[nkbapbt]

I am so sorry to hear about Samantha's collapsed lung and bleed, thankfully unlike us (adults) prems can have collapses and be fine in days. Their lungs grow so quickly. In regards to the "shaky chest" vent, it's called a high frequency oscillator and its used when prems are having or have had lung injury (collapse and the bleed). It's actually less work for her to breath. Lakai was on one for a week at one point, I hated it! It's so loud and he never rested well on it.

I hope you are feeling better soon.

In regards to taking the Greyhound, have you talked to your NICU social worker? I know here in BC people who had to travel (I think?) more than an hour were given travel help, bus passes and such. To cut the cost down for you. Also if you plan to apply for IE, you can use the "sick" time first. Just a heads up.

 

[alparen]

Yeah she like her breathing machine a lot. Rests well with this one. Around here icca apply for funding through a charity for travel expenses. Also I have a referral in for Ronald McDonald house. Other than that there's nothing. We ca sleep in the nicu with her as all the babies have their own rooms called pods. And there is a little bed set up if a parent wants to sleep there. It's not to expensive though for us to travel up there which is good. Just hard to manage my hubby works 12-8 everyday but get Sunday and Mondays off. He is trying to go up after work so he can go more often to see her. Gah I just want to feel better so I can go see her. Along with the section I had I got low iron and feel so incredibly drained and sick all the time. It sucks.

 

[aob1013]

It's so hard isn't it. Typically when Leni was in hospital we didn't have a car and it was a nightmare getting to the hospital and back every day as it was an hour away x

 

[alparen]

Ye it is a nightmare for sure. I feel like poo cause I'm not well enough to go up yet. My hubby works 12-8 tues- sat. We are going up tonight. Someone offered us a drive up after my hubby gets off work. I'm so excited omg. 4 days away from her feels like an eternity.