Need your help ladies!

[Ju_bubbs]

I'll try not to make this post drag on too long... but I'll thank anyone who makes it to the end, now! lol

Since I first got pregnant at 15 I was adamant that I Was going to BF, as it turns out, that LO was born the day before my GCSE's started, so while I tried my best to BF at night and my mum FF him through the day while I was at school doing gcse's for 2 weeks.. I tried expressing, but my milk just didn't get the start it needed, and very soon dwindled to nothing. I failed.

when No.2 came along I was more hopeful.. OH was earning enough for me to be a sahm, so I had all day to get my supply going, but again I failed after just a few weeks through sheer exhaustion. LO just never seemed satisfied and if she wasn't feeding, she was crying for food!

No3 went pretty much the same.. my HV decided to fob me off with low supply, and FF was the best thing to do

No4.. by this time I had found BnB, so I swore to myself that I wasn't going to give up thinking it was 'low supply' and that I WAS going to tough it out through the hardest stage! But, it didn't go to plan!

the first 2 days was brilliant, she latched brilliantly straight away, would have a good feed on each side, then have a good sleep before feeding agian.. then came day 3, and it started to go down hill, she started cluster feeding ALL day and evening.. I didn't mind that, I knew she was just upping my supply and she then slept well through the night, but it meant I had no time with my other kids once they got home from school - OH would have to cook their tea, bath them and put them to bed etc, which I missed! This was all going well till she was 2 weeks old.

Then at 2 weeks, she decided she was also going to cluster feed all night, as well as all day/evening too! again, I wouldn't have minded this, but after she finished feeding she was just never happy!
Through the day she would feed for a good 3hours with plenty of gulping and swallowing going on, then she would comfort suck for a few minutes to fall asleep. But, that would last at the most, 20 minutes, before she would wake, crying for food, so we'd start the 3 hour feed again.. this went on all day, evening and night. I tried expressing so OH could take a night feed giving me half an hour sleep, but I could never get more than an ounce out, which only got me about 20 seconds sleep

I struggled on with this for another 3 weeks. But, I was now on my 21st day without ANY sleep at all, not even a 5 minute nap! Exhausted wasn't the word for it, I'd lost so much weight - even tho I was eating loads, (it wasn't so lucky money wise, but was lucky in a way - OH had lost his job the day Imogen was born, so he was at home all day to cook me food while I was sat feeding!) I had gone from 9stone, which I is what I was before pregnancy - down to 7 stone in that 3 weeks, I didn't have the energy to even lift my arm to scratch my head!

So anyway, I decided that I NEEDED atleast an hours nap, so on this 21st day of no sleep, at 6pm I sent OH out to get bottles and formula, so he could feed her while I napped! She drank 5 ounzes in 2 minutes, then happily fell asleep (in his arms - she'd never sleep if she was put down ) Then she was put in her cot and sttn - I can not tell you how wonderful that was!! (tho I didn't sleep all night, out of guilt of caving in! )

So morning came, she woke, I BF her - again, for 3 hours.. and again she sept for 20 minutes before waking, crying for food. and continued her usual pattern .

It only took a few more days before she was on formula full time, she was a completely different baby. She would feed, then sleep for 2-3 hours, then wake up happy! Where as when I was BF, every second she was awake, if she wasn't feeding, she was crying, constantly, she just never seemed satisfied! I still feel awful that I gave up BF, but after seeing how content and satisfied she was on formula, I felt it had to be the best option!

Omg, I cant believe how long this is.. I'm so sorry!!! lol last bit..

So I REALLY want to BF this LO, but, i'm worried its going to go the same way. I mean I know they have to feed lots to up my supply, but this time I'm going it alone - I dont have any one to get the other kids up/washed/dressed for school, do the school runs, do the cooking, walk the dog, get the other kids to bed etc.. none of which I was able to do while BF. Even tho LO slept for 20 mins every 3 hours or so, if I tried to put her down, she would wake instantly and cry for food!

IS that really normal, should I expect the same again?

 

[kerrie24]

Im sorry you found it so hard,and you arent going to like my reply lol,from my point of view,it was normal what you went through.From what I can gather,the longest you bf was 3 weeks,this means it was the worst part that you gone through and then swapped to ff.It really doesnt stay like that forever!If you could make it to 6 weeks,im confident things would have settled down.
I have 3 children,2 of primary school age and one bf baby,my partner works earlies so is gone befeore we get up.I have done the school run since lo was 5 days old,I have even bf leaning against the nursery wall


I absolutely agree it is so tiring,and seems like it will never end,but it really does
How about getting a sling,then when baby was fed and wouldnt go down,you could carry them and still get on with your day.
I dont know how you feel about co-sleeping,but it really gets you a lot more sleep.
I also gave a dummy.(not recommended I know!)
Get the older kids to help out a bit in the early days.
You can pop back every day for advice if you need to.Best of luck I really hope it goes well for you this time x

 

[Ju_bubbs]

Thanks for your reply!

I BF my last LO for 5 weeks, not quit 6, I know! I did try a moby wrap, but it didn't work the way I planned! Every time I moved she would wake up, and then I'd have to immediately sit back down and start feeding again

I also tried to co sleep for the last 3 of the 5 weeks, but that didn't work how i'd planned either, lying next to me, or even in the crook of my arm wasn't good enough for her, I had to be sat up cradeling her I did also try and give her a dummy.. but she wouldn't suck it no matter how hard I tried!!! lol

I wouldn't mind battling through the constant feeding and no sleep again, coz I do know it WILL get easier - probably! lol I'm just worried that no matter how determined I am to BF - I can't put my whole life on hold to do it this time, coz there is no one else to do everything for me! school runs I could manage - I did the odd one with LO but because she woke up when I put her in her car seat, she would then cry all the way to school, and all the way back - becasue she was awake, but not feeding.. while thats not very nice, I'd have to do that, then feed her as soon as I got back home.. but this time round its not just the half an hour school run.. its another hour atleast, before hand organising the other kids, one of them has suspected autism, so takes a LOT of organising.

Then through out the day running around after a 1 year old, then a good few hours in the evening cooking dinner, clearing up, and getting the others ready for bed etc!

I dont even know why I'm posting it.. I know no one will have a miracle solution I guess I just needed to get it off my chest and onto paper - so to speak!

 

[summer rain]

This time I'd definitely get your latch double checked by a BF specialist; all too often MWs and HVs will tell you you have the perfect latch when there is often something minor that needs tweaking and it can make a huge difference to LO being satisfied a bit more after feedings xx

 

[Ju_bubbs]

Thank you for the tip! I always assumed you had either a clear cut good or bad latch! Had no idea there was an inbetween!

 

[jennijunni]

BFing is hard!!! I know it is natural, and the "best" thing for baby, but man it can be a challenge sometimes. I also agree with PP, if you really want to make a go at it this time, first, let go of your fear, and your anxiety regarding Bfing. Second, get to 6 weeks, I know it seems silly, but it is like a magic number, trust me! Third, get a sling, or a wrap, and wear your baby, that way you wont feel like a slave to the couch, and you can get your things done. Lastly, all babies are different, each one, will be different, so next time, you may have a nursing champ!!! Also, and I dont want to be out of line, it also seems like you feel you need permission to FF this baby. Honey, you dont need permission, you need to do what you think is best for your baby and your family, and if that in the end is formula, so be it, you are still loving, nurturing, and most importantly feeding your baby, and that is what counts!! Hugs!! I bet this time you will do great!!!