Nerves are getting to me again

[MamaTex]

I am starting to have that same nagging feeling I had with my first pregnancy, that something is wrong and I need to check up on it. I had cramping the entire day yesterday and dismissed it as things just stretching, but I can't help but wonder if it is something more serious than that and it is a warning of something bad that is about to happen. It doesn't help that I am having insurance coverage issues right now and am alone all day with my thoughts. My husband thinks I am being silly for always thinking so negative, but it is so hard to think positive. I have gotten further in my pregnancy than I did my first one, but I can't help but think something is terribly wrong. A visit to the ER would set me back quite a bit, so I am trying to research more affordable alternatives, but if I end up needing actual care I am afraid I won't be able to get it with my insurance issues right now.

 

[Tournesol]

Please try not to worry. I know those cramps are scary after a loss, but it is completely normal.
Just try to relax and take it easy, maybe find something to take your mind off it?
Good luck

 

[mwaah]

Aww hugs honey. jJst try and relax and I know its easier said than done but cramping is totally normal and i cramped more with my DS then i did with any of my losses. xxx

 

[MamaTex]

I am trying to relax and tell myself that things have been ok so far. I was fine yesterday evening but today I woke up with all kinds of worries. I hate feeling like this and thinking bad thoughts. I feel like I am not doing right by my baby at all. I wish I could feel normal again and not full of anxiety. It hits me out of nowhere!!! As far as having something to do, I volunteer two days out of the week and go out maybe one night a week, but it doesn't help much. I don't have a lot of friends to really speak with during the day because they are all at work or wrapped up in their own lives. The city's Museum district isn't too far away and I really enjoy museums. I just hate going alone. It still puts me in the position to be alone with myself and my thoughts, which aren't the most positive when it comes to this pregnancy. Hopefully I can get further along and have more reassurance as time goes on. This feels surreal, like I shouldn't be pregnant still...

 

[Tournesol]

I understand how you feel. I'm on my own a lot during the day and now that it's winter there's really nothing to do at all! (I live out in the countryside, middle of nowhere really!)
I try to make the most of this time to relax and take it easy with a book or a film.

It will get easier for you as the weeks go on, I promise x

 

[Kellen]

I remember feeling the same way during the first trimester of this pregnancy. Every little cramp sent me running to the bathroom to check for spotting. We saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks, but (for some unknown reason) I convinced myself around 10 weeks that I'd had a mmc and didn't deserve to be pregnant. This was hard because the next ultrasound that our insurance would pay for wasn't until 20 weeks. Unfortunately/fortunately I was in a minor car accident and got to have another ultrasound at 12 weeks. We saw our little sea monkey jumping around like crazy. Now I am anxiously awaiting her arrival.

So basically it is very normal to be terrified of every cramp. People who have not experienced a loss personally can't really understand. I would tell you not to worry, but I'm pretty sure that once we are pregnant the Mom Is Required To Worry 24/7 gene is released into our bloodstream. Good luck and I hope you are able to get the reassurance you need.

 

[TXRunnerGirl]

Aww MamaTex, i know exactly how you feel I have good days and then i have very bad days. I get extremely anxious about having another mc, and even though i saw the hb at almost 7 weeks, i still have that doom and gloom feeling. I find myself analyzing everything (no symptoms, cramps, etc.) I am going insane but i think it's completely normal to have these feelings after a loss! Keep your head up, i'm sure your little one is perfect!

 

[MrsMoose]

MamaTex, I know exactly how you feel. This is my 4th pregnancy (no children). I had a miscarriage in September after first IVF cycle, plus 2 ectopic pregnancies (one I had to have my tube removed in emergency surgery). I never stop worrying, I'm constantly wondering if this pregnancy will stick, if I'll make it to the next milestone (i.e. just seeing something on a scan!!) and wondering about every twinge, cramp, spotting etc. My first scan at 7 weeks is next monday and I'm so incredibly nervous I want to throw up every time I think about it. OH is trying to be optimistic and say everything's ok, but it's so hard when every fibre of your being is rejecting the possibility of it turning out ok because every experience up till this point has been bad

Here's praying for our little beans to stick around so we can meet them one day in person.

Carmen. xx