Nervous about a possible move

[MnMommy]

My husband is applying for a new job that would essentially be a huge promotion but it means an office about 4 hours away. If he gets it, we will have to move there is no doubt. He can't not apply because it is his ultimate goal job and people from within keep telling him to apply. That said, the timing couldn't be worse.

If he gets the job, he will have to get an apartment for during the week and will have to go down there approximately one month before my due date. Then I will have to be home with a 4 year old and the new baby by myself except for weekends.

We will eventually move, but first I have to find a new job (and I'm limited because we work in the same field but could no longer work together as we do now, plus the new location is more rural so there are fewer jobs available). Plus we have to figure out how to sell our house (we are completely upside on our mortgage) and find a new place to live. Until all of that falls into place, we will essentially be living apart 80% of the time.

I'm freaking out. He hasn't even gotten an interview yet, so I know we have a ways to go. I also know its a long shot because he really is probably too young/inexperienced for the job. That said, there is no internal candidate and he has huge support from very important people.

I am so nervous about being home by myself (and all of our family is out of state, so no help) with a 4 year old for my last month of pregnancy, then being home alone with a new born.

Anyone else going through this or been through this or anything similar? I can't stop thinking about it and it is freaking me out. But its not the sort of opportunity he can just let pass by.

 

[rose.]

I haven't been in exactly the same situation, but my husband is self employed and sometimes has to work away in the week for a couple of months at a time. He's back now but it's likely he will be working away again soon. It scares me too being alone with a newborn so you're not alone! What I did find though is that him being away made the weekends extra special, and although I hated Mondays, after a few weeks I got used to it.i would try not to worry about it until it happens anyway - like you said he might not even get the job. Good luck

 

[Hunbun]

When my son was born my husband job was relocated. I was left alone at home with my then newborn all week and then occasionally he would have to travel away for sometimes up to a month at a time.

Anyway long story short is, it was really hard but managable and in the end totally worth it. We are now together again and its great. It also means when he needs to travel again I know I can manage because I have before.

Try not to stress about it, what will happen will happen and you never know it might be easier than you think.

 

[MnMommy]

I just keep trying to picture how I take care of a needy 4 year old, a newborn, try to find a new job, try to pack up the house, and do it all basically by myself. I need to not go there and i keep telling my husband that, but then he says, yes, but we need to prepare because if he is offered the job things will move quickly. I don't think he really understands the stress it is putting me under. I try not to let him know either because I don't want him to not apply for his dream job/ once in a lifetime type opportunity just because it makes me a little nervous while we figure it out.

 

[Hunbun]

I think you should tell him, that way he can help take some of the stress. It doesn't have to stop him applying it just means you have to make a plan together.

Do you not have any family that can help you with the packing, your 4 year old or just to keep you company?

 

[MnMommy]

Not really. My mom is 2000 miles away and DH's family is 600 miles away. My dad is near but works a ton and works a lot of evenings and weekends, so he really wouldn't be much help. He will certainly help when he can, but his work schedule just doesn't allow us much time together.

I know I'm getting nervous when we don't yet have a reason to be. I just keep trying to figure it all out in my head so I am at least partly prepared if he gets this job.

 

[babyhopes2010]

what does the job mean for you as a family? ie is it significantly better money and job perks?

 

[MnMommy]

Yes, much more money. Same perks as it is within the same company. But it is also a stepping stone for other possible opportunities. It is also as prestigious as it comes in our line of work. The pros are definitely there.

 

[babyhopes2010]

It will be hard but sounds very much worth it. wait till he hears back from the job then cross that bridge! sounds brill opportunity

We are moving to OZ in next 1-2 yrs ill have a 1-2 yr old baby and a 3/4 yr old. itll be hard but worth it in the end

 

[greenlady]

Well it sounds like a great opportunity and if he gets the job, you will manage. In some ways it might be easier with a newborn than if you had 2 children getting into mischief. If he gets the job, then just make a list of things you need to do, and start working through it, even if its only on weekends. Your DH will be able to look for the new house and make the arrangements to sell the other one around his job. Or you could rent out your existig place and then rent somewhere in tor new area? Do you have to get a new job as well straight away? How much maternity leave were you going to take? If he's earning more money maybe you can take a few months career break?

I moved from England to Australia last year - ok I only had 1 kid, but I was also working and helping my husband with a small business. Making all the arrangements was mountain to climb, but somehow we got through it. As for being alone with your children, im sure it will be hard for a while but you will cope, and it won't be forever.

I hope it all works out for you x

 

[MnMommy]

Even with his pay increase, it isn't enough to compensate for my income. I couldn't go without working. I'm planning for 16 weeks of maternity leave (we don't have mandatory leave here and that is how much sick and vacation leave I will have saved up by then).

DH will be able to help some with finding a new place, etc., but I am much more picky about where we end up. I'm sure he will find some options and let me see the ones that best fit our needs.

Ultimately, I know it will be fine. We will get it all figured out. Its just a lot of stress getting to the end result. (Not to mention I was gone last week teaching at a training and all anyone wanted to talk to me about was whether he was getting the job and how I felt about moving...)