Nervous I will be upset

[sil]

Hi ladies,

Thanks in advance if you make it through this

I am currently 14 weeks pregnant with my second child. I have a sweet, wonderful, loving DS. When I was pregnant with DS I honestly didn't care what gender the baby would be as long as he/she was healthy. I was excited to have a boy and happy when he arrived.

However, this time I am dying for a girl. This is likely our last child (we really only plan on having 2 and are pretty set on it), and I can't help but feel disappointed at the possibility of having another boy. What makes it seem more likely is that boys are EVERYWHERE .. I have a brother, my dad had 2 brothers, my DH has a brother, my brother has 2 sons, and I have my one DS. I am literally the only girl in the family (besides my mom and DH's mom of course).

To make things worse, everyone else seems to be on the same page. His parents and my parents are hoping to finally have "a princess" and make their opinions known. They constantly talk about girls. It makes me think about girls and how nice it would be to have one of each gender and I am just honestly terrified of how both me and everyone else will feel if it is a boy again. At my 12 week scan (12w5d actually), I believe baby / nub looked like another boy and I posted in gender prediction and I had EVERYONE, 2 pages worth, say boy as well. I just feel like it will be.

Then I feel incredibly guilty for feeling this way. I feel horrible that I can't just be happy with a healthy baby again. I know raising 2 brothers close in age would be nice as well, but I just can't feel as excited about raising another boy. Then the guilt kicks in again. The guilt is almost crippling. I worry that if I feel this bad and I don't even KNOW the gender yet, how will I feel if my prediction/guess for a boy came true? I feel like a horrible mother

We find out the gender in 2 weeks and I am both excited and extremely nervous. I just don't know how to feel.

Thanks for listening if you made it through and letting me vent. Hugs to everyone, and I hope you have happy and healthy pregnancies.

 

[heather2629]

Hang in there! I was in the exact same boat as you are. Though my story turned out a bit differently than you're hoping, I figured I'd share it.

I wanted a girl so badly. This is my first, and the dreams of a little princess were all I could think about. I wouldn't even entertain the idea of this baby being a boy. When family or friends would say "he," I would quickly scold them. I even went to the extent of having my friends refer to the baby as "she" for what I considered positive reinforcement.

All the old wives' tails predicted girl. My friends said girl. Everyone did.

Well, guess what?

It's a boy!

As ashamed as I am to admit it, I was disappointed when the ultrasound tech said so. I tried to act excited, but I know I came off as upset. I even cried in the bathroom later. Which sucked, since my husband was super excited about it being a boy. He took me to shop for boy clothes right after our scan, which helped quite a bit. Eventually, I started planning the nursery, picked a name, and we began thinking about our little boy more and more.

Now, I'm happy to say that I am GLAD to be having a boy. In fact, I'm so excited about this little boy that I can't even believe I cared so much in the first place. I can still have my girl. There's no rush. And, this boy will be so loved. It just hit me all at once a few days after the ultrasound and I've never looked back since - I am glad to have a boy.

When I announced it's a boy, I had some negative feedback. Someone very close to me said they would have rather I had a girl. I'm so proud of this baby now that I quickly shut them up. You can't let anyone steal your happiness! And whild it's natural to feel guilty, don't. Many people go through this, and it doesn't mean you love your baby any less.

I hope you get what you want! I just wanted to share a "success story" from someone who suffered from gender disappointment. Good luck!

 

[LauT]

Hi SIL

I do know the feelings you're going through. I am now pregnanct with my 3rd baby and have two sons already - aged 2 and 1. I knew I wanted children close together so all have been planned. I REALLY want a girl too. I absolutely adore my boys and if anyone had said what's your ideal scenario I would have always said boys first then my girl last but I just have a strong feeling I will have another boy. I only have brothers but am very close to my mum and I just always imagined I would have that with a daughter when I was older. I play it down to everyone except my husband how much I really long for a daughter as I know how terrible it must seem to have a preference. I couldn't help but cry after my second scan even though I knew we would like to go on and have a 3rd at that point. We do consider a 4th anyway but I want to have a 4th because I want 4 children, not as a last ditch attempt at a girl, you know?

 

[Poppiebug]

Sil - I could have written your post exactly.

I have a gorgeous DS too and didn't mind at all about having a boy first up. This time around I would just love a little girl. I really love ladybugs and am dying to create a nursery on that theme. We did a bit of gender swaying for this bub too, although we didn't go "full on" with it, I changed my diet, timed things etc. This weekend we have our NT scan. I'll be 13+2 and although it's not guaranteed we'd see anything on this scan I will be asking to see what they can tell me. I will of course have other scans later on but I'm just dying to know. I was going to get the blood test to tell gender but when my Obs was talking about the tests she recommended another one that doesnt give gender. I didn't push for it as I didn't want her to think all I wanted to know was the sex of my baby. We have had a name for a girl for so long that also has special family significance. We do have a first name for a boy but having trouble deciding on a second name.

I also feel so terribly guilty that I feel this way. Firstly I just want a happy, healthy baby and smooth pregnancy, but I have no idea how I will react if they say it's definitely a boy. I know I will cry and feel guilty for that. I am hoping that finding out early on if it is a boy that I will have more time to get excited and plan his room and find a wonderful name. I know I wouldn't love him any less, but I just feel that longing for a girl so much. I can't even say if I have any intuition as to what I'm having as I am so biased towards the pink.


All the best. xo

 

[sil]

Ladies,
Thank you so much for sharing your stories. It helps me to feel a little bit less alone. I'm still having a difficult time leading up to our gender scan. It is 7 days away now, and I can't decide if I am more excited or more nervous. I have been trying to tell myself every day that it will be alright if it's another boy and that two brothers close in age together would be nice to have, but I still sort of feel like I'm just telling myself a lie to feel better if things do end up going that way. It's funny because I'm not even a super girly person - I don't wear makeup, I'm not really that into fashion .. but I still really want a little girl to be a part of my family. I guess time will tell. Thanks again everyone for listening and for your responses. They mean a lot to me

 

[Bfp26.11.12]

Just wanted to say I was in the same position as u 2 years ago. Already had a son and so desperately wanted a daughter when I found out it was another boy I was devastated kept thinking the tech had gotten it wrong but now he's heres I couldn't imagine him being a anything other than what he is. I could just eat him! Well anyway now I'm pregnant again and so hoping for a girl this time but not holding my breath. That's why I decided not to find out this time, I really don't want to feel the same way I did last time cause when bubba is here I will love him/her regardless.
Sorry if I wasn't much help but didn't want to read n run. Big hugs xx

 

[sil]

Well, the guesses were right. Looks like it's another boy. I'm trying to stay positive but I feel heartbroken. I'm not even sure how to put it into words right now. I wish I could be more greatful for a healthy baby but I'm just having a difficult time

 

[Poppiebug]

Well, the guesses were right. Looks like it's another boy. I'm trying to stay positive but I feel heartbroken. I'm not even sure how to put it into words right now. I wish I could be more greatful for a healthy baby but I'm just having a difficult time

looks like I am set for blue again too. I understand how you feel. x

 

[LauT]

Ah ladies. Not sure what else to say. I guess we all know it's likely we'll be on our third boy but still comes as a bit of a shock. I recently read an article in the newspaper about someone who really did the gender sway...no sex a minimum of 2-3 days before ovulation with predictor kits etc. Will any of you go to 4? I think I will if this is another boy but that will have to be my lot! And I will invest in ovulation kits to give it a proper go.

 

[dollych]

So sorry girls xx
I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my 3rd boy so I know how you feel. I just wish I didn't have GD with this pregnancy because I feel so guilty about my feelings and should be happy that I'm having another healthy baby..... It's so tough. I know I will be ok when he's here and love him with all my heart like I love my other boys.

LauT ...... did she have a girl then after the swaying?. I did a really strict pink sway this time, diet etc but ended up DTD the day before OV.
With my other two boys it was the same or day of OV.
I really believe timing must work as it seems DTD 2-3 days before OV are resulting in more girls. It worked for all my friends!!.
What newspaper was it?. X

 

[dollych]

P.s congratulations to all your pregnancies xx

 

[LauT]

So sorry girls xx
I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my 3rd boy so I know how you feel. I just wish I didn't have GD with this pregnancy because I feel so guilty about my feelings and should be happy that I'm having another healthy baby..... It's so tough. I know I will be ok when he's here and love him with all my heart like I love my other boys.

LauT ...... did she have a girl then after the swaying?. I did a really strict pink sway this time, diet etc but ended up DTD the day before OV.
With my other two boys it was the same or day of OV.
I really believe timing must work as it seems DTD 2-3 days before OV are resulting in more girls. It worked for all my friends!!.
What newspaper was it?. X

Yes, they had a girl! I think it must work too, or at the very least higher your chances. Like you, I know lots who have done it that way. We tried it a little bit but it's hard to know the exact day you ovulate. I know I'm roughly half way but my period is always 29-32 days which then moves my ovulation date! I think we BD'd too close to ovulation. I knew I should have left it the last time we did it but I just then started thinking that it would be too far away and I wouldn't get pregnant at all. I still don't know the sex yet but I my cervical mucus was a little white and stetchy - although again, (sorry if TMI) sometimes that can be mistaken for other stuff, if you know what I mean?!

Here is the link to the article...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/...ime-girl-Lawrie-family-fighting-Napoleon.html

 

[dollych]

Thanks for the link. She was on ITV 'This Morning' programme earlier today. I started a thread about it. I was convinced timing must work after watching that, but read comments left on twitter etc and here on this site and really don't know!!.
I'm glad in a way that I've read all the different experiences from different people who say it has/ hasn't worked because I was beating myself up for DTD too soon near OV....... Now I really don't know!!. Think I'm going to stick with thinking it's 50/50 every time and no swaying works, it's just meant to be!!.

Good luck & I really hope you get your girl...... Don't give up hope yet !!. X