New and struggling with scbu life.

[jennie-jack]

my gorgeous little boy finley was born at 35 weeks on the 3rd of august by emergency section due to prom and infection setting in. i didnt get steroids and finley wasnt breathing he spent 5 days in intensive care 3 of those on a ventilator.
he is now 10 days old and is doing well breathing wise and is now just being tube fed, i want to breastfeed him but he still isnt getting it and is only just waking up for feeds now he is on 4 hourly feeds.

im just shatterred we have two other children at home that have medical issues and i find i spend all my time travelling to and from scbu, pumping milk or sitting next to his incubator. im tired and feel like im splitting myself in two and tonight have done nothing but cry. its so hard and i miss my baby and just want him home, he weighed in at 6lb 10 so i thought he would be fine i thinks its just all a shock. he has lost nearly apound too.

jennie xx

 

[clairec81]

Hi there, just wanted to post a quick reply to say hang in there. It is an extremely difficult time while they are in hospital and i know the feeling of leaving other kids at home, or with grandparents, aunties etc, I felt so guilty for the 6 weeks my LO was in, guilt to my son for 'dumping' him on my folks and missing out on playing with him and guilt for my daughter every time i came in late to the SCBU or left early. It doesn't seem like it now but it does pass and he'll be home and part of your family before long. People used to say to me it would become a distant memory and i didn't believe them but 7 months on it truly does seem like a small part of her life and ours. Stay as strong as you can and have a night in tears - it helps! The girls on here really help too so keep posting any concerns, take care and keep us posted.

 

[embojet]

HI there and congratulations, Finley is gorgeous! It is really difficult, I found it difficult without having kids at home too! Don't feel guilty, he is in the best place, and I'm sure he'll be home in no time.

 

[25weeker]

Hi congratulations on the birth of your gorgeous boy.

Having a child in neonatal is stressful and having other children i would imagine only adds to it. You have also had a shock as you probably thought at 35 weeks he would be ok. I met a mum who's fullterm baby went to Nicu for a few days and she found it extremely hard and asked me how I coped and although it is really stressful I think the reality was I knew when my babies were born they would be going there and be very sick but if your not expecting it you have the shock to cope with as well as the stress.

Try not to feel guilty when you aren't there as the nurses look after them very well and it's what he needs just now.

Hope your lo gets home soon.

 

[Anna_due Dec]

Don't stress about the feeding issue, with your average prem, when all you have left is to establish the feeding, you are on the straight and narrow road home. I have had 2 prems (so far) and i had to express 3-4 hourly and then he was tube fed my milk. Slowly he built up onto full suck feeds and went home and was breast fed for many, many months. If you are willing to go through the expressing, it is worth it. I too have had to push my younger children aside more than i liked for nicu/scbu babies but once the baby comes home, life returns to normal and for them it was just a hard stage that is now behind them. Kids don't hang on to things like us. They're tough and as long as you are explaining the situation they will know you still love them and things will get better. Don't beat yourself up.

 

[lizziedripping]

Awww sweet, I really felt your distress coming thru in your message. I totally understand how you feel. I had a 24weeker 5 years ago - after one full-term baby it came as a complete shock to us, and I was devastated to see my precious baby on a ventilator. I hated that machine, despite the fact that it kept her alive.

It took me months, even years to come to terms with having a poorly baby, when in fact I should be bringing a full term healthy baby home. I also had a 2yr old at home, and was constantly leaving him to visit her - never giving either of them enough of my time. A very horrible, scary and upsetting time.

You are gonna feel very down hun, it is horrible. You don't know what each day will bring, and the shock of having a baby in ICU really affects you. Your little one was born near to term too, but had problems despite this - even scarier.

Positives - he is now on the road to recovery love. He will get better, and you will bring him home and you all can begin the healing process. If you need anything, then get in touch - I really feel for you, and hate to think of you coping with this alone xxx

 

[peenyweeny]

hi,

after reading your post i remembered my time last yr exactly today i went into labour and had my son on 16th august, he was very poorly and spent 5 mpoths in nicu then we went down to leeds as he was jaundice and then we spent so many months in and out in of hospital and fially when he was 10 months old we were home and have been home.

he is my first so having a poorly child was quite stressful as you know, but with time you get the strength. i'm sure you will also, are there other parents there you can talk to, .. is there support workers there you can talk to also.

 

[~Krissy~]

On the breastfeeding, give it time. It could just be that he wasn't born with a good latch yet and just hasn't figure it out. Wait until he has more strength and then work, work, work at it. Until then, just pump on schedule.

It took almost 2 months (AFTER we got home from NICU) for me to get my first preemie to breastfeed with ease. It was hard work but well worth it in the end. While in the NICU, I would just pump and the hours I was there, I'd make sure to feed her so that she could smell me. Sometimes, it's even good to do this skin to skin if they have a room or screen available for you. As she gained strength, I would then start the feeding sessions with 5-10 minutes at breast, then switch to pumped milk from bottle. That way, she wouldn't use more strength (calories) than she was gaining. If you haven't consulted with someone on this, maybe ask to have an appt setup. I found it very helpful.


Having a child in the NICU with other children at home is so hard. Stay strong and remember the NICU stay will end. It's hard, many tears are usually involved, but it will work out.

 

[jennie-jack]

we finally got finley home with us, i had to start giving him my milk in a bottle to get him home as he just wasnt latching onto me. we are going to practise at home but untill then pump. i never ever want to have to go through that again. the whole stay i was terrified that i wouldnt get to bring my baby home.

we have been told he has bilateral clicky hips or something that needs to be checked out but it is a small price to pay for having my son. we were told had he have not come when he did he wouldnt be here now so thank god we had that appointment.

 

[Agiboma]

great to hear, congrats way to go finn

 

[lizziedripping]

HI love - congrats on bringing Finley home. As for latching on, don't worry, one of my twins was a brilliant breast feeder, but the other tokk ages to get the idea since he had struggled to breath when he came out - he was breech. He seemed lacking in energy, but then suddenly got the idea after 10days and became really good x

 

[cat81]

Congratulations on getting Finley home. Keep trying with the breast feeding. My son was born in July at 33+5 and we spent almost 3 weeks in SCBU before bringing him home. I also started by giving him my expressed milk in a bottle as he wasn't strong enough to feed at the breast for long enough to take enough milk. There were days when I thought that we were never going to get there and he was just so sleepy that every time I put him to the breast, he took a couple of sucks and then fell straight asleep. But now he is home and getting stronger and stronger. He is being totally breast fed and I am so glad that I persevered with it. Good luck. Thinking of you. xxx