New - been trying to conceive for 20 months

[-Linn-]

Hello Everybody

I hope I can join you. I found this forum on google last week and I was looking for information on preseed.

I'm 26 years old and I have got one daughter who was born in August 07, it took me nearly 3 years to fall pregnant with her and I have now been trying to conceive again for 20 months and so far nothing has happened. Unlike many of you I have no idea whats wrong with me. When we were trying for number 1 I always thought I would never ever get that BFP and I was so desperate, I was thinking all I want is one baby and I will be happy forever but now I seem to be even more desperate for a second one. Now that I know I can get pregnant... or at least I did get there once. I have just moved and registered with a new GP and made an appoinment in a few weeks to finally try and find out why i can't get pregnant easily.

I hope I will meet loads of new people to share experiences with, although DH would like another baby he is not desperate like me and it stresses him if I keep going on and on and on about it. So I registered here today. Please excuse any mistakes i have made, English is not my first language, I have lived in the UK for 6 years now.

Anyway I'm off for now I hope Im allowed to be in this forum, I know I already got a daughter but for her it was long term trying before I conceived.

xxx
Linn

 

[BigFoot1980]

Hello and Welcome! I am sure you will meet a lot of lovely people here.

 

[cazhd]

and welcome Linn

 

[puppymom32]

Welcome Linn everyone here is wonderful. Hope your stay here is short.

 

[Angie33]

Hello Everybody

I hope I can join you. I found this forum on google last week and I was looking for information on preseed.

I'm 26 years old and I have got one daughter who was born in August 07, it took me nearly 3 years to fall pregnant with her and I have now been trying to conceive again for 20 months and so far nothing has happened. Unlike many of you I have no idea whats wrong with me. When we were trying for number 1 I always thought I would never ever get that BFP and I was so desperate, I was thinking all I want is one baby and I will be happy forever but now I seem to be even more desperate for a second one. Now that I know I can get pregnant... or at least I did get there once. I have just moved and registered with a new GP and made an appoinment in a few weeks to finally try and find out why i can't get pregnant easily.

I hope I will meet loads of new people to share experiences with, although DH would like another baby he is not desperate like me and it stresses him if I keep going on and on and on about it. So I registered here today. Please excuse any mistakes i have made, English is not my first language, I have lived in the UK for 6 years now.

Anyway I'm off for now I hope Im allowed to be in this forum, I know I already got a daughter but for her it was long term trying before I conceived.

xxx
Linn

hi and welcome


it doesnt matter that you have a child already i have a 16 yr old son and ttc #2 and been waiting to concive for 2 yrs now but now am getting the help i needed.

just want to wish you good luck


angie

 

[BizyBee]

Hello and welcome!

 

[Blue12]

Hello!

 

[MillieMoo]

Hi Linn. Welcome to BnB.
You will find loads of people to support you here, whatever your going through.
So do you have any ideas what so ever about why its taking so long? Do you track your cycles by taking your BBT?

Good luck x

 

[-Linn-]

Thanks to everyone for the friendly welcome!

I wasn't sure I could write here as I already got a child. I have read so many of your sad stories here. And I thought what am I upset about I already got a wonderful daughter who means the world to me, but now I'm just as desperate as I was TTC the first time round. When I was first pregnant I thought I will never be unhappy again. But I guess life doesn't work like that.

Unfortunetely I have no ideas why I got such difficulties falling pregnant. I never had a miscarriage or anything I was pregnant once and that after 34 months of trying. Somehow I thought that whatever the problem was back then it got solved. But I guess it didnt as I've now been trying again for just over 20 months.
Yes I have been taking my BBT and also examinig the Cervical Mucous (is that whats its called??) and I used to take Ovulation tests too. It seems that I ovulate most months but my cycles are irregular. The last were 26, 27 and then 31 days and I'm currently on CD 30 and waiting for AF to come.
I have already done several tests all negative so just waiting now
Unfortunetely I'm addicted do doing tests, like they will go positive the more I do, thanks to ebay I can now afford to buy as many as I like.

In February I stopped doing all that temp measuring and ovulation tests as it's not helped me and I was obsessing a bit too much with the charts and monitoring my body so closely I felt like I was an intensive care nurse with myself as the patient.

You have all probably heard people tell you that you just need to relax and then you will fall pregnant, yeah right I can say... not easy to relax about it but I tried. I will start taking my BBT next cycle as I now finally decided to go and see my GP. I just never had the courage to do it before I was only 20/21 when I first started trying so I thought I had time and then the time just went by and I got really stressed about the whole TTC thing and spoke to DH about it and he said he wouldnt go to the doctor to have his sperm checked (sorry don't know all the abbreviations yet) and as I was told they always do that first, I thought there was no point. But I have recently met someone who was in exactly the same situation and the doctors did all the tests on her anyway, so I will see what happens.

I think its my fault its taking so long though as I never had regular periods before I had my daughter I often had really long cycles. I also did after her birth but they have been getting shorter. When I was a teenager I had a longterm boyfriend (not DH) and I wasn't always very careful (although not trying) and nothing ever happened then. But I know I gotta go to the doctor and do something about it, try and find out whats wrong. And I will, I'm brave now! I want a little brother or sister for my little girl!

Has anyone here used preseed? Is it really meant to be that effective? Or only for those who don't have fertility issues anyway? I would try anything that could help!

I'm sorry for writing so much, I can't talk to many people about this, they just don't understand me all my friends fell either pregnant straight away one month after coming off the pill or by accident. They give me good advice such as "it will happen at the right time" but that really hurts and doesnt help at all
One of my work colleagues once announced she was pregnant and when she got asked how long she had been trying, she said 6 months and then another colleague that was already pregnant said OMG that must be so heartbreaking 6 months... and I thought if you knew what was heartbreaking you wouldn't make comments like that.

Again thank you so much for all your replies I didn't think anyone would write and I'm really happy to have found this forum.

x
Linn

 

[puppymom32]

Linn,
I havent tried preseed yet but am going to use it this month. Actually tomorrow and Friday and then Sunday. Hope it works will keep you updated.

 

[DaniGirl]

Welcome !!

 

[-Linn-]

Linn,
I havent tried preseed yet but am going to use it this month. Actually tomorrow and Friday and then Sunday. Hope it works will keep you updated.

Thanks that will be interesting to hear. I think i will order it too. AF is late at the moment, but no doubt just around the corner, I hope mine will arrive on time for the next cycle.

 

[mrsmorrison]

What is the update to your story?

I know how hard it is to watch all your friends and colleagues getting pregnant. Been trying for 2 years and watched 6 women fall pregnant in this time, one my aunty who wasn't even married when we started trying and one my sister-in-law who absolutely didn't want a baby at the time we started trying. They tell me it will happen when the time is right but I'd like to know what is so wrong about NOW? It really doesn't work like that.

The problem here is also the more we worry the worse things get, but it's just so hard to relax!

Hope you are well.
S

 

[-Linn-]

What is the update to your story?

I know how hard it is to watch all your friends and colleagues getting pregnant. Been trying for 2 years and watched 6 women fall pregnant in this time, one my aunty who wasn't even married when we started trying and one my sister-in-law who absolutely didn't want a baby at the time we started trying. They tell me it will happen when the time is right but I'd like to know what is so wrong about NOW? It really doesn't work like that.

The problem here is also the more we worry the worse things get, but it's just so hard to relax!

Hope you are well.
S

Hi there

Unfortunetely there isn't really any updates, I had made an appointment with my GP but cancelled it the day before, typically. I'm still hoping I will get pregnant again just like that. It is now nearly 22 months and I'm getting desperate.

Yeah tell me about people falling pregnant while I'm still waiting, I started trying to conceive my 1st in 2003 and my friend didn't start until 1,5 years later and she had her daughter a year before me and she is currently pregnant with her 4th, she fell pregnant on the pill again. Already wondered if I should start taking it, lol

I'm sorry I didnt update before I fell bad posting on here as some ladies have been waiting much longer than me and don't have any children.

I have been doing a lot of reading though and am now trying out many things to help, like EPO, preseed, instead cups, grape fruit juice... I will try anything!

I don't actually believe in that time is right stuff, as I had my daughter at the worst possible time. I had my dream job and when I was 12 weeks pregnant I was made redundant, well they moved the office abroad and it was no option for me to go, so we actually had to sell our house and move in with OH parents temporarily (thankfully now got another house). So I hope you will get your BFP soon any time soon is the right time!!! Do you have any known fertility issues? I don't know if I have any as I'm still scared to see my GP. But I suspect something isn't right as it is now the 2nd time round its taking an age to conceive. I did notice I never get EWCM so now trying to improve that.

Good luck to everyone in LTTC that we may all get that BFP soon

x

Linn

 

[Greta]

Hi there, Evening Primrose Oil (EPO) capsules and grapefruit juice can help EWCM. Only take EPO until you ovulate though. It may well be that your husband (DH) has low sperm count as that can make it take longer to conceive. There are things he can do if this is the case, particularly vitamin supplements, there's lots of help on here anyway. Good luck with your appointments. See what doc suggests. x

 

[RebaRezzelba]

Hi - I have also been trying to conceive for the past 20/21 months (and before that we were letting nature take its course for about 6 months) so all in all about 26/27 months trying.
I went to a fertility specialist last June and got my bloods tested - and my DH got his sperm tested - we both got our results back and his sperm is above average and my bloods are fine and im ovulating so basically I have no idea what is wrong with me.
I have used preseed cos my CM wasnt very abundant and I have never really noticed any EWCM (maybe once or twice in the past 2 yrs).
I also take EPO from ay 1 to Ov and then Flaxseed thereafter but i havent noticed that increasing the CM either.
I was taking my temp for about 8 months but stopped cos i was getting obsessed. But i did ovulate every month according to that. The only thing I noticed with my temp was that it was very low pre ovulation (96.9 every morning) and then went to 97.6 post ov. I read that a low temp cos mean I have a thyroid problem but i mentioned that to the doctor and she said not to worry cos I am ovulating so its not causing a problem there - which kinda annoyed me cos if i have a thyroid problem maybe thats stopping the egg from implanting - i dont know just a thought!
Anyway my advice to you Linn is to go to the doctor and get your hormones tested - at least you'll know if there is a problem that you can do something about - if there is no problem maybe you'll relax and it might happen naturally like the first time.
Im coming up to Ov time (i think its next tues or Wed) - ive started to notice some CM (TMI) so i guess its time to go at it like rabbits!

 

[mrsmorrison]

Thanks for replying, I haven't seen GP for fertility problems as I know that it's because of my anxiety, I get mega stressed all the time about silly little things. You may wonder why I'm trying for a baby then as it may increase the stress!? Well, I don't want this anxiety disorder to take over my life, I still want to live it as closely to "normal" as I can. DH is a great help and very encouraging.

I think this is our only problem as it affects my ovulation, no two cycles are ever the same which means timing and testing is a pain. I can jump from 26 days to 62 days between periods.

We both eat well, everything is wholemeal, not too many puddings or fizzy drinks, fruit juices, fish, veggies and herbal teas.

Just have to keep believing though, stay calm, be patient and keep talking about how we feel, keeping it bottled up certainly doesn't help. Most days I can do this but sometimes it can only help to cry a little too.

I heard evening primrose is good up until ovulation, which i do, then to take flax seed oil after ovulation but its difficult when I don't know what my body is doing.

I try to track my temperatures which helps this but it's very hard work staying sane when every morning you have to wake up and first thing you think of is temp taking for baby making. Can't think of anything else for the rest of the day!!

Hope we can have bfp soon, keep me posted, until then we'll just have to wait and enjoy our herbal tea (what I wouldn't do to go on a tetley tea splurge!!) xx

 

[-Linn-]

Thanks everyone for the replies!

Greta, yes I have already thought of OH maybe having a lower than average sperm count, would explain why it took 3 years with our DD. I don't think he'd like to have a sperm test done but if I won't get pregnant by the end of this year I will make an appointment for both of us, after all he wants a baby too. Although I feel like I want it much more I have noticed that I never have any EWCM, well I noticed it only once this year and I was watching out for it. Thanks for the advice regarding the EPO, I only started it on CD1 and am currently on CD12 have been doing OPK's so will stop taking it when I get a positive. Any other aids you can recommend?

RebaRezzelba, I have also noticed more CM this week so hopefully I will ovulate soon, you are right I need to go to the doctors at least for some peace of mind. I have been doing ovulation tests and get a positive each month and then AF arrives 13-14 days later. But my cycles are never the same length. Why is it so easy for others to fall pregnant and we have been trying for nearly 2 years? My mum told me yesterday it only takes 1 week to get pregnant after coming off the pill and all I need to do is relax... Not what I wanna hear.

Mrs Morrison, I understand your fear of going to the doctor very well, unfortunetely I also get anxious easily/often. So I wouldn't wonder why you wanna have a baby. I want another one, already got one daughter and although it can be stressful I'm loving it. You said for you no 2 cycles are ever the same, do you do ovulation tests or only temping to see if you are ovulating? Temping drove me insane so I stopped. I didnt used to do any of these things but hated never knowing when AF would show as I have cycles ranging from 26-37 days, not as bad as 62 days but I too never knew when to test or if I was late. Since doing OPKs its a lot easier. I bought 30 on amazon for only 5£ so maybe thats an idea for you even if you have long cycles the tests are really cheap.
If you ever want to talk about being upset or worried you can send me a message at any time, I know it helps to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. LTTTC can be heartbreaking at times.

Good luck to you all

Linn

 

[RebaRezzelba]

Linn - I am CD10 at the moment and according to my previous temp charting and Ov tests I usually ovulate on CD16 (i have a 31-32 day cycle) so i have 6 days to go.
I know, why can other people fall pregnant easily and we can't. My friend just had her 3rd baby and my other friend (who just got married in Jan) is 9 weeks preggers. I was happy for her but sad for myself at the same time - thankfully she emailed me the news so she couldnt see my expression. I felt bad then cos I was annoyed that it took her less than 6 months. My other friend said she is planning on getting pregnant in Dec (like it will just take her one time and she'll be preggers). I said to her "it might not happen the 1st time you know" and she was like "It will, my cycles are so regular, I just know it will" and in a way im thinking I hope it doesnt - but in the back of my head I know it probably will. I hate thinking like that cos its not nice but i can't help it - thats what 26+ months of TTC does to a girl!

 

[-Linn-]

Linn - I am CD10 at the moment and according to my previous temp charting and Ov tests I usually ovulate on CD16 (i have a 31-32 day cycle) so i have 6 days to go.
I know, why can other people fall pregnant easily and we can't. My friend just had her 3rd baby and my other friend (who just got married in Jan) is 9 weeks preggers. I was happy for her but sad for myself at the same time - thankfully she emailed me the news so she couldnt see my expression. I felt bad then cos I was annoyed that it took her less than 6 months. My other friend said she is planning on getting pregnant in Dec (like it will just take her one time and she'll be preggers). I said to her "it might not happen the 1st time you know" and she was like "It will, my cycles are so regular, I just know it will" and in a way im thinking I hope it doesnt - but in the back of my head I know it probably will. I hate thinking like that cos its not nice but i can't help it - thats what 26+ months of TTC does to a girl!

I know exactly what you mean, I got a friend who is pregnant with her 4th in the 5 years I actively tried I managed to have one child and she started one year after me. But at least I got that one although it doesnt really make me feel better TTC the second time round. Yeah your friend will probably get pregnant straight away, I told people this before it might not happen and it did 2 weeks after coming off the pill. So now I keep my mouth shut and don't even tell people I'm TTC. When I was still working before I had my daughter I was pregnant at the same time as 3 other colleagues in the office and we all got talking about how long we tried for, and this one girls says 6 months so the other 2 went like OMG that must be so heartbreaking it took me only 1 month. And I stood there thinking they had no idea what heartbreaking was so I told them mine wasn't planned. Imagine I would have told them it took 3 years.
It is hard watching everyone else getting preggers, I feel like that so often not like I begrudge them their pregnancy it's just they seem to be getting what I wanted for so long and I have waited so much longer, it doesn't seem fair but I do believe one day it will be our turn too and we will enjoy it even more having waited for so long.

xx