New born Bathing & self settling?

[blackclayrose]

So my brother and his girlfriend had a beautiful baby girl Wednesday night. We all totally in LOVE with her.

Now while I haven't any children yet (I may seem bitter) I am just looking out for my niece.

We were at there house last night (bubs first day out of hospital) and my sister in law said she will only bath bub every 3 days. I am sorry but that just seems like a long time between baths.

On to the self settling, they were trying to get bub to self settle last night on her first night at home and on her 3rd day in this big scary world. they were leaving her for 20-40 mins at a time. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I just wanted to go in a cuddle and sooth her.

I know I shouldn't judge as I haven't had kids yet, but I am sure I will not be trying self settling until at least 3 months.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Self settling is not recommended until SIX months, as baby doesn't have the brain capacity to learn the pattern that the crying gets them nowhere. Although if parents are frustrated it is definitely recommended to leave baby in their room in a safe spot eg cot and walk away, they say "a crying baby is not a dying baby" I know at some stages after several hours of trying to soothe him to no avail I did leave him and have a glass of coke or quick shower and "recharge" a few minutes. You need it for your sanity.

As for the baths yup the hospital said don't bath them often in the first few weeks as their skin is too delicate, we didn't even properly wash the vernix off for a few days (obv it wasn't noticeable amounts but in delicate spots like in between toes etc) newborns who are washed daily end up with sensitive skin issues. I read a thread in baby club where ALOT of women said their bub is only bathed weekly which I found wrong!
Personally I did every second day (he was spewy so couldn't leave it longer) until he was about 2 months old then daily as part of our bed routine.

 

[loopy82]

Why is bathing young baby once a week wrong? My dd hated baths when she was tiny and screamed absolute blue murder, she got so stressed. We cleaned her every day with a cloth where she needed it and obviously her bits were cleaned when we changed her nappy. I see nothing unusual about that long between baths for a teeny.

As to teaching a baby to self sooth, especially at such a young age, not something I agree with at all. IMO they will get there in their own time.

 

[blackclayrose]

I have not had a baby so I am obviously not an expert. But I thought that bub would need to bathe at least once a day.

 

[loopy82]

Babies really don't get that dirty, not like adults who have been through puberty or children who will roll in mud at every given opportunity! We cleaned dd whenever she needed it but bathing them too much really can cause skin sensitivities.

 

[Destiny08]

we would wash dd every 2 or 3 days. unless she threw up on herself or had 1 of those poops that goes right up their backs (always a fun cleanup job lol) she had eczema, so we didnt want to mess with her skin

 

[Celesse]

Leaving a baby that young for that long is cruel. Say something!!! Its completely horrendous. Poor little thing!!

Newborns cry for a reason, hunger, tiredness, because they need comfort. At that age they might need to nurse every 40 minutes. Their tummies are tiny. And they need to be close to mummy. Leaving a newborn to cry is just horrible.

 

[Sun_Flower]

In the UK at least, many midwives recommend not bathing the baby at all until their cord drops off (you're supposed to keep the area clean and dry to help it heal), and that can take 7-10 days or even longer. When my daughter was born we'd 'top and tail' her every day (wash her face and her bum etc) and then once her cord came off we bathed her every 3 days or so. Whether or not the baby enjoys bath time when they're that young is also a factor, as some little ones HATE it, and get so worked up and upset it's really not worth doing, as they really don't get very dirty (except when being sick or having explosive nappies, but again, those incidents are cleaned up when they happen)

As for the self settling, three days is ridiculous. A baby that young cries because it is the only means of communication it has, and its brain isn't wired up to understand that the cries aren't being listened to so they'd better stop crying. xx

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Those first few days can be really hard when nothing settles baby's cries. Maybe instead of judging her you could say "would you like me to hold her for a while while you two get something to eat?"
I know I was not in any state to handle visitors at that stage when I got home I just wanted to be home with my little family and get in a swing and would've been p.o.ed had people turned up, but if they did they better make them selves useful.

 

[madetomother]

Just curious what chemical processes people think are occurring in and on a baby that would warrant daily baths?!...


"Crying it out" is pretty ridiculous and a symptom of how detached our society has gotten...

 

[blackclayrose]

Thanks for all your replies

I certainly didn't mean to upset or offend anyone. Everyone has the right to raise there children in their own way.


I can happily let you know that we were trying to help her out. We made dinner and cleaned up after so SIL didn't have to worry about anything but the baby.