New here, having bf troubles!

[17pregnant]

Hi all!
I'm new here, but thought this would be a great place for support and advice. Some background on me, I am 17, nearly 18, live in NZ and have been with my boyfriend for about 14 months now (he's 19 and already has a 3 year old daughter and the mother is going to go crazy when she finds out!!) In August I had a miscarriage at 12w6d, and found out a week ago I am expecting again! I am super excited, but also very nervous at the same time. I haven't had any appointments, or anything as of yet because since my bf found out he hasnt said anything at all and I dont know what to do!! He won't bring it up, ignores it when I try talk about it, I am getting so frustrated. I dont want to move forward without him being involved but it cant wait forever :/ Any advice?

 

[teenmommy15]

well first welcome bnb is a great place for support and advice. im sorry about your loss ! but congratulations on your little one it doesnt matter if his baby mom is going to flip its none of her business this baby is yours and his not hers. as for the dad he may be in shock and he could be like that for a while but im sure wants he see's his baby he'll come around it just might take some time but i would continuously try and talk to him about it, dont badger just ease it in to conversation or let him know when you have made an appointment and tell him you'd appreciate if he came. btw im Bethany im 15 and im expecting a girl June 18th

 

[17pregnant]

well first welcome bnb is a great place for support and advice. im sorry about your loss ! but congratulations on your little one it doesnt matter if his baby mom is going to flip its none of her business this baby is yours and his not hers. as for the dad he may be in shock and he could be like that for a while but im sure wants he see's his baby he'll come around it just might take some time but i would continuously try and talk to him about it, dont badger just ease it in to conversation or let him know when you have made an appointment and tell him you'd appreciate if he came. btw im Bethany im 15 and im expecting a girl June 18th

Hi Bethany! Congrats on your girls she's due very close to my 18th birthday! Thanks for the welcome, i'm excited to get into this. Yes the miscarriage was very very hard to deal with it just makes me appreciate what I have now a lot more if you get me His baby mum already doesn't like us together, won't let me be around their child etc etc and probably won't let my bf see her anymore when she finds out! Which will make it harder for him to be happier about our child :/ And i'll take your advice! I will make a appointment on my own and tell him I would like him to come. Thanks again And goodluck for the rest of your pregnancy!

 

[teenmommy15]

thank you thats so cool im excited to have my baby in June well if you ever need to talk i had a miscarriage at 4 months so im always here. well she cant legally take his daughter away from him so if she starts causing trouble for him or you there are legal actions you can take to make sure she doesnt mess things up for you and him. Your welcome and if you continue on with your pregnancy i look forward to hearing from you and more and have a safe and healthy pregnancy thank you very much

 

[17pregnant]

Thanks for the great advice! I definitely plan on going through with this pregnancy Fingers crossed its a smoother road than the first!

 

[teenmommy15]

no prob,any time good then we all plan on hearing from you more let us know how it goes with the bf and your first scan yes indeed, have a safe and healthy pregnancy

 

[MiSS.M0MMY2BE]

Hi, I'm Erin. 18, turning 19 next month. I'm 16 weeks today. I also suffered a miscarriage early in my first pregnancy so I can relate to your anxieties of this pregnancy! But like everyone on here has told me, stress is one of the worst things for baby. So, try & relax and enjoy your lo. I agree with bethanys advice and I think you're making the right move by going ahead and making your appointment, and then letting him know him coming with you would be great. Good luck!

 

[17pregnant]

Hi Erin! Congrats on your pregnancy, hope its treating you well I am definitely trying to relax, he doesn't make it easy, and juggling university as well, but I am keeping stress levels down to a minimum and thinking of my pregnancy first and foremost Because to be honest I think stress ahd a major part to do with loosing my first. Thanks for the friendly welcome, and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy too!

 

[MiSS.M0MMY2BE]

Hi Erin! Congrats on your pregnancy, hope its treating you well I am definitely trying to relax, he doesn't make it easy, and juggling university as well, but I am keeping stress levels down to a minimum and thinking of my pregnancy first and foremost Because to be honest I think stress ahd a major part to do with loosing my first. Thanks for the friendly welcome, and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy too!

Thank you! So far, so good! &I'm happy you're keeping your stress level down. Trust me, this site will help a ton! You're so very welcome, hun.

 

[MummyMana]

Hey welcome tbh if I were you us ask him point blank why he doesn't want to talk about it - that may be the first step to getting him to open up I hope it all goes well! I'm Mana btw, I'm 19 and expecting a little girl

 

[17pregnant]

Hey welcome tbh if I were you us ask him point blank why he doesn't want to talk about it - that may be the first step to getting him to open up I hope it all goes well! I'm Mana btw, I'm 19 and expecting a little girl

Hi Mana, congrats on your pregnancy/little girl! Ive thought about this approach as well, just scared of his reaction I suppose! I mean, my mind is already totally made up and I dont want him to through me off :/ Thanks!

 

[ClairAye]

Hi all!
I'm new here, but thought this would be a great place for support and advice. Some background on me, I am 17, nearly 18, live in NZ and have been with my boyfriend for about 14 months now (he's 19 and already has a 3 year old daughter and the mother is going to go crazy when she finds out!!) In August I had a miscarriage at 12w6d, and found out a week ago I am expecting again! I am super excited, but also very nervous at the same time. I haven't had any appointments, or anything as of yet because since my bf found out he hasnt said anything at all and I dont know what to do!! He won't bring it up, ignores it when I try talk about it, I am getting so frustrated. I dont want to move forward without him being involved but it cant wait forever :/ Any advice?

Sorry about your loss But congratulations and welcome to BnB! :wave:

My name is Clair, I'm 18 and I have an almost 9 month old son called Jason

You'll need to get yourself an appointment, regardless of him, I hope he does come along

 

[MummyMana]

Hey welcome tbh if I were you us ask him point blank why he doesn't want to talk about it - that may be the first step to getting him to open up I hope it all goes well! I'm Mana btw, I'm 19 and expecting a little girl

Hi Mana, congrats on your pregnancy/little girl! Ive thought about this approach as well, just scared of his reaction I suppose! I mean, my mind is already totally made up and I dont want him to through me off :/ Thanks!

thankyou and think of it this way, his unwillingness to discuss it at all is already making you miserable - calling him up on it isn't gonna make anything worse really is it?

 

[x__amour]

Welcome! I'm Shannon, 21, and I have a 2 year old named Victoria "Tori"!

 

[17pregnant]

Thanks for all your welcomes!! I took all the advice and asked him straight up. Lets just say we don't see eye to eye

 

[magic93]

Hey Welcome and Congrats on your LO!
Sorry about your previous loss, ive suffered a miscarriage as well and I know its not something you can ever get over completely! You'll find the girls here are great for advice/support and whatnot. Hopefully your man comes around hun, I can relate to having problems with his baby mother, honestly really talk to him n see where hes at in the whole situation and if anything take action before she does! Anyways my name is Lisa im 19 and my baby boy is due the 22nd of next month

 

[17pregnant]

Hey Welcome and Congrats on your LO!
Sorry about your previous loss, ive suffered a miscarriage as well and I know its not something you can ever get over completely! You'll find the girls here are great for advice/support and whatnot. Hopefully your man comes around hun, I can relate to having problems with his baby mother, honestly really talk to him n see where hes at in the whole situation and if anything take action before she does! Anyways my name is Lisa im 19 and my baby boy is due the 22nd of next month

Thanks! Yeah it is hard and just makes me want this one so much! I just don't want the stress of a rocky relationship. Yes, everyone's been wonderful already She's a nightmare, and I can handle it but I don't know if he can. I mean at the end of the day, if it comes down to it, my baby is going to be the most important thing Congrats on your little boy Lisa

 

[magic93]

Thank you hun. No matter how things work out with him you gotta worry bout yourself, cuz right now you need to take care of yourself to take care of your LO! Stresss is no good, and I know its impossible not to stress sometimes too jus make sure you take good care of yourself. Get to the doctors and get taking vitamins. Youve been blessed with a baby boy or girl. And yeah some girls totally crazy, as long as it doesnt affect you and his relationship, then you'll all be alright!