New single mama

[21Rach]

Hiya, me & fob split after months of arguing think we both knew it was over it's clear we both love our baby but that the stress of a baby has broke us.

i have moved back home with my mum. i'm being paid maternity from work, but don't want to go back as we worked together... am currently (when was classed as living with him) getting wtc,ctc, and the other one that everyone receives.
anyway.. i'd love to do a midwife course, but as have previously dropped outta uni level course i doubt i could get funding? sure as hell couldn't afford it myself, parents are on a very low income also, and i don't know what to do re housing, stay here for time being? it's a box room so i can't fit his stuff in it
temp thing says cold all the time and no radiator in the room so using loads of blankets. eek :s hes gonna grow out of his pram bed thingy in next month or two i'd say... and what can i put him in to sleep then. :S x

 

[lou_w34]

Welcome to the single mummys

Im starting a midwife course in september, im doing the access one, im too sure on the funding though, i think you still can....
As for housing you could maybe get housing benifit/council house??

Have you tried looking on freecycle for a cot? or maybe ebay? they have pretty cheap cots going. or maybe a travel cot.

xxx

 

[CrystalBell]

Hi,

You will get funding regardless of whether you dropped out before.
xxx

 

[21Rach]

thanks girls, lou i meant size wise not got room for one i feel like failure as a mum i can't even make relationship work, and now will not have room for a cot

 

[lou_w34]

Oooops sorry heehee, well im not too sure then...

But please dont feel a failure Sometimes life just doesnt work out the way we want it too, but it doesnt mean thats a bad thing! Something even better can be just around the corner!


x

 

[Aidedhoney]

Welcome hun xxxx

 

[21Rach]

thanks lou that's put a smile on my face nice way to look at it was kinda beatin myself up. but i think hes gonna thank us in the long run for not surroundin him in rows & tryin to repeatedly make it work knowin full well its failing. i feel so much more positive about being a single mummy now xxx

 

[purpledahlia]

Do you have a double bed? you can safely co-sleep untill you have something sorted, or get one of those bunk bed type beds but underneath has space instead of a bed, maybe fit a cot under there? I would look for a flat and apply for Housing benefit.
Dont feel like a failure tho your not!

 

[lou_w34]

Being a single mummy can be a great thing obviously its nice to have the whole family setting, but if that doesnt work out there is nothing to be ashamed about.

Put it this way, you dont have to share a quilt a night and when lo smiles its all for you

Its hard but worth it

xx

 

[21Rach]

thx purpledahlia double won't fit, can't afford new bed but i will put him in my single im quite small & il look for places tomorrow & get to the council for further help. x

 

[21Rach]

if i get a flat privately... i'll need deposit money myself won't i :S x

 

[littlekitten8]

Yes you will need a deposit but the council run a scheme where they loan you the deposit. Its interest free. And you will be entitled to housing benefit too. I am going through this too atm cos I am living with my parents but in their living room cos there isn't a room for us. I am on the council list but not getting anywhere so I will be looking for a private rent soon.

 

[21Rach]

little kitten that sounds rli good, do we just go into the council and explain our situation and say we've found a property? cos apparently i can get £400 towards rent. property i found is 495 i can pay the 95. but deposit/rent in advance plus fees i cannot afford so will they give me/them some sort of a loan prior to moving in? hope so else i gonna be livin in a bin in may x

 

[jamielou]

Hey hun

With the midwifery thing you can do an access course at your college to get on to it. They are quite demanding and you have to pay for them but it's so worth it (i did something similar) Once your doing the actual midwifery course you get a bursary every month so you'd be fine once you got onto that side of things.

As for housing, council?? Know its a long shot, most councils seem over run now or private renting?? I private rent a flat and get housing benefit to help me, it doesnt cover all of mine as i get a bursary but im on a low income so i manage. If you were on benefits im pretty sure they cover all of it?

Hugs xx

 

[Dopeyjopey]

Hi Rach, I'm facing up to facts that I will be a single Mum too (due in June) and am in the same situation as you.

I chose to move in with my Mum and will be staying here for the forseeable future as I don't live well on my own. I can just about fit enough stuff in the room for me and baby but will have to look at options because I'm worried about sharing a room with a toddler.

Unfortunately because I have a job and get maternity pay, I won't be getting many benefits or help at all!

My best advice is to speak to CAB or Welfare Rights if there's one near you. They're very helpful and can tell you what options are best for you.

 

[Laura2919]

Hi Hun, I am recently single too! Me and twins dad split 4 weeks ago. we sat down to discuss what was going wrong and we got into a big fight and now we are over for good. I think I am ok with this but there are certain things that make me feel scared and uneasy.

If you ever need to chat please feel free to pm me

Laurax

 

[Laura2919]

if i get a flat privately... i'll need deposit money myself won't i :S x

My flat is through the council because even working I cant afford to rent privately but they do a scheme where they give you the rent money and you then get housing benefit.

Go and see someone at the council xx

 

[flutterbaby]

ho ya hunny did want to read and run just to let you know you have to return to work for at least 13weeks after maternity leave or you have to pay all the maternity leave money back booo i know but i'd check it out

 

[Laura2919]

Yeah your boss can make you pay it all back. If they realise this though. I would maybe speak to someone about it x

 

[21Rach]

heya, i've been to the council and jus thought id share what they said for anyone else's peace of mind going through similar things. so as im classed as working with my income they worked out for a place with say 750 council tax a yr i'll get £9 a week help with that, also i'll get £525 towards housing, and wtc/ctc of course. she said that if i go back make it 16 hours a week for optimal wtc/ctc. I'll also be getting deposit paid with the bond scheme that u don't repay... it seems to only the more rowdy areas which accept this type of deposit. as i don't have any furniture i have been told to apply for a crisis loan, paid back with no added interest for the household items. apparently once ive found a place that accepts things i can apply for housing and the bond and get in within two weeks, but that the crisis loan takes more like 4/5 weeks. hope that helps someone x