New to forum and fed up with NTNP for #3

[Charliegirl27]

Hi guys, I'm new here.
Hi

I'll be 36 next month and have 2 DD's aged 10+5. 1st took 13 months to conceive naturally after commencing investigations. (I work in a hospital and im very impatient!) 2nd took 18 months of trying before conceiving on first attempt at iui with injectables after unexplained secondary infertility. Because of all our previous probs, DH has said he doesnt want to go down that route again and won't commit to 'TTC' but is happy NTNP!

I feel in limbo esp with my age creeping up on me and swing between wanting a third and being happy with 2. As of last month I'm secretly TTC! I've just ordered softcups, opk, and researching all I can to improve my chances. I'd love to have a proper talk with my DH but I think he will say no and I'll be devastated.

Anyone else in or been in a similar situation???

 

[Jodes2011]

No i'm not in a similar situation but i did want to come over and say hi and welcome

 

[Sus09]

Welcome Charliegirl!

I am not exactly in the same situation as my OH is fully aware that we are TTC. but we did have the NTNP approach for few months, and that did not work for us. So I decided, like yourself to buy OPKs, softcups, preseed, and started taking BBT.

Not the same as my OH supports me through BBT... well sort of I cannot get him to BD as much as I would like during my fertile times...

 

[alison29]

Yeah I am in the exact same situation. He knows what I want and straight up refuses to do the RE again so I am doing acupuncture and soy and hoping for a BFP

 

[Charliegirl27]

Welcome Charliegirl!

I am not exactly in the same situation as my OH is fully aware that we are TTC. but we did have the NTNP approach for few months, and that did not work for us. So I decided, like yourself to buy OPKs, softcups, preseed, and started taking BBT.

Not the same as my OH supports me through BBT... well sort of I cannot get him to BD as much as I would like during my fertile times...

Hi,
My DH hasn't a clue when my fertile time is or isn't. I think deep down he does want a third but is too scared to commit to TTC as it was so emotionally draining last time

 

[readyformore]

Well, my dh is ALWAYS ntnp, and I am ALWAYS ttc, lol.

We've been ttc #4 for 16 months (#1 was also infertility and 4 IUIs). I went back to my RE and tried 1 iui which failed. My husband told me he's happy to ntnp (in his own words), but apparently, I'm too stressed with infertility/IUI, etc. He would do IUI again if I pushed, but he (us?) needs a break. So, now I have to put on my happy face and act like nothing is bothering me if I want to continue ttc.

I say, just do it behind his back. If he's having unprotected with you, he knows what outcome could happen. Honestly, it's the only green light I would need.

 

[Indigo77]

:wave:

Good luck!

 

[crystal443]

Good luck and if he's willing to NTNP then go for it Best of Luck!!!!

 

[Charliegirl27]

I say, just do it behind his back. If he's having unprotected with you, he knows what outcome could happen. Honestly, it's the only green light I would need.

Too true! I'm sure he wants another but as we are at the mo it's all fun. If we go down the iui route and it fails, what next? We will be committed then and I dont think I could do ivf. (emotionally and financially) I think I'd rather try my cunning ways and surprise him with a natural bpf.

Good luck ladies

 

[readyformore]

If we go down the iui route and it fails, what next? We will be committed then and I dont think I could do ivf. (emotionally and financially)

Well, I was committed. We did IUI last month and it failed.

With my first, we did 4 rounds back to back. I had intended to do the same this time. But, it's not happening that way. Now, it appears that we are back to au naturale. Not sure if we will try anymore rounds in the future.

I had planned on only moving forward, but circumstances have dictated that we wait to do anymore. So, is it moving back if we stop IUI? I kind of feel that way.
But, the big issue is, if you do IUI, he'll know you're ttc, lol .

And you don't have to do IVF. I considered it, but deep down I just really feel like it's not a good fit for us at this time in my life.

You can go back and forth. You don't have to stick to IUI if you've tried it once.
I'm not happy with the delay in a pregnancy, but I am happy for the break.

 

[sukisam]

Welcome!
Men are funny creatures aren't they?! We have been ttc no 4 for 2 years and my hubby alternates from really really wanted another baby to not being very bothered! I, on the other hand stay constant in my wish for another baby!
good luck with ttc no 3 i hope the NTNP route works for you!

xxxxxxxx

 

[Jax41]

Charliegirl, good luck!!!

 

[alison29]

That is a great point Charlie a bout them not wanting to commit emotionally or financially to IUI etc. because they know with us once that starts there is no returning. Plus I think my dh in a way doesn't want to take the grief from his family whose motto is "stop having children while your ahead" Much easier to say it's a surprise or blame it on me just a suspicion. My dh also doesn't like the infant stage and with two he was sort of trapped into participating all the time BUT I only want one more! I know it would be different this next time because when mom is more relaxed baby screams less plus with just one I could put him/her in a sling and she would have no reason to be sad and fuss.

 

[readyformore]

Plus I think my dh in a way doesn't want to take the grief from his family whose motto is "stop having children while your ahead" Much easier to say it's a surprise or blame it on me

This is my household exactly.

About 9 months ago, I asked my DH if he had told anyone that we were working on #4. He said, "Nope. I just plan on telling eveyone it was a surprise!" Surprise, my ass. I'm working really hard on this. I have a feeling people will be getting 2 different stories depending on who they ask, lol.