New to the forum! Struggling with TWW Anxiety, Hormonal Struggles and Jealousy

[BrittElla]

Hi everyone!

I am brand new to the forum and I'm SO glad I found a safe place to talk about these things with others that are sharing similar experiences. My husband and I decided to 'see what happens' in April and since then we've had no luck. This past week I started tracking my ovulation and can officially say we are TTC. I have purchased more than enough ovulation kits, even the newer one "inito" I saw ads for recently.

I have a much younger friend that recently got married a few months ago, I was in her wedding. Once my husband and I got engaged a few years ago, she began pushing her now husband to propose, and all the while I was understanding and happy for her honestly. She asked me to be a bridesmaid and I gladly accepted, although she made a lot of disparaging comments before the wedding, I assumed it was just her 'bridezilla' phase, addressed some of it with her, forgave, moved on.

Fast forward to after her wedding, she begins asking me almost weekly if my husband and I are trying yet. I told her we were 'going with the flow' and enjoying our first year of marriage. Last Friday while I was at work, she told me via text that she was pregnant. I told her how happy I was for her, apparently they were pregnant during the wedding, but didn't know. She then asked me if I was pregnant, to which I responded in the way I always had, we were 'going with the flow'. She responded by saying "everything happens for a reason", and my heart just sank. I tried to play it off with her and just said "yep", but it hurt. I found myself crying in my office, having trouble breathing, and ended up leaving early to go home and cry. It's not the first time she's made very disparaging/competitive comments to me, and I just had enough.

Ever since then I have been aggressively trying to figure out my ovulation schedule, hormones, eating habits, vitamins, scheduled baby making time, etc. and my anxiety is through the roof. I found out I was in peak on Monday, and Tuesday was ovulating, so we tried multiple times. Now I am seeing on my hormone tests that my progesterone seems low, while my estrogen seems high. Thank goodness I have an OB apt today, because I have seen so much info online about all these things I should do... and I'm overwhelmed and exhausted. I also don't want to have a baby like this, almost feeling like I need to catch up to this person that rubbed it in my face... but her getting pregnant so fast made me wonder what was wrong with me, and now I'm worried that there really IS something wrong.

Has anyone else experienced this? I want to be happy for my friend, but I am also so tired of her needing to put me down, put others down (including her husband). Is it just me being jealous? How do you guys handle all of this?! (lol)

Thanks for any support in advance

 

[josephine3]

Hi! Glad you found us at bnb you can share all your ttc worries here, no judging!
You've only been trying a few months, it took me 2 yrs with my first and I've now been trying for a year for my third now.. It can be hard I know but try not to stress, and you don't need to waste money on fancy ovulation kits, the cheap strips do the job just as well!
Good luck! Come join our testing threads you will find in the Two Week Wait forum, lovely girls on here so supportive xxx

 

[Suggerhoney]

Hi and so glad you joined here.

wow I’m sorry but ure friend sounds horrific. My jaw hit the floor at what she said to you.
What a thing to say. So flipping insensitive I mean really.

let me tell you something love. Ttc is not easy. Yes some just fall very quickly and easy but others have a harder time.
I read it actually takes a normal healthy couple 6 months to a year to fall pregnant and that’s classed as completely normal.

I’ve been ttc for 7 months now. I’m 42 so a bit older than most on here. We fell in April but it ended supper early. We then fell in June and agian I miscarried at just over 5 weeks.
Started to think all sorts like there must be something wrong.

It took us 11 months to fall pregnant with my youngest son and I had 4 very very early losses B4 we fell with him.

I had a bunch of tests done which came back normal even tho a recurring miscarriage doctor basically said I was too old and my eggs are no good. I was 40 then: and I fell with my son at 41.

Im not having any tests done this time. We are just gonna keep on trying and hoping one will stick. I’m expecting it to take another few months so about a year in total but we will see.

I would try as hard as it is to take your friends lame arse attitude with a pinch of salt.
U will get your baby and then she will be jelous because u have the newborn or your pregnant.
I can put money on that she will be like that:

It’s natural to feel envy love. I can bet most of us on here that have been trying for some time now get a little pang when we see BFPs.
Or we see others that fell pregnant and now how far there are and he we are still trying.
It’s a natural human response to feel that way when they have something we want.
Please don’t feel bad love.


And I’m with Josephine please come join us in the testing thread. We have a August and and September one up now.

Be glad to have you and everyone is so so supportive on there.

 

[Nattylou]

TTC can be really tough and take a toll on your mental health. You need people around you who can support you, whether that's your husband or even online groups like this. I would really question whether this woman is a true friend because it sounds like she is incredibly self centred and doesn't care that much about your feelings. I'm sure you're feeling extra sensitive right now as you're going through this process and so it's ok to set some boundaries to protect yourself. So if a friend says something that is hurtful, it's ok to call them out on that. It's also ok to get some distance from them until you feel strong enough to put up with their crap again. Take care x

 

[Bevziibubble]

Welcome to the forum

Your friend sounds like she has a bad attitude and is jealous. This is her stuff to deal with and she shouldn't be putting it onto you. I would consider distancing yourself for a while. Lovingly detach and do what is best for you