New way of life - terrorism

[iiTTCii]

I may have talked about this before.. but here goes, sorry if I bore you.

I've always loved travelling, went on 2/3 holidays a year, one being long haul. When I took DD away 3 years ago, I had a panic attack on the flight (the first panic attic I'd ever had). We already had another holiday booked 7 weeks later so I was prescribed diazepam for the next flight but I was still a mess. I'm not scared of flying. I'm scared of a terrorist being on the flight and a disaster happening. We had a holiday booked last year, but we ended up cancelling last minute, losing money and going on a holiday in this country because I was having nightmares about the flight.
Last week, I felt like I'd overcome this fear and I spent last weekend searching for holiday deals to go away next month (last minute decision) and I was going to book something this week. I was really excited and looking forward to going abroad as a family of 4... then Monday happened in my home city. My heart bleeds for all those involved and especially as it's so close to home, it's really made me feel differently again.
We were supposed to go to the zoo today but decided against as I didn't fancy being in a tourist attraction with loads of people there a few days after an attack. I now don't want to book a holiday abroad as I don't want to get on a plane.

I'm just after people's thoughts really. I know life has to move on and this is potentially life as we know it now but I also don't want to put my family under unnecessary risk.

 

[bbbbbbb811]

I'm the same, we cancelled a holiday last minute last year and lost money for the same reason. This year we are booked to go on a big family holiday(grandparents, sisters, uncles etc) and I have already been in tears about terrorism on the flight/busy holiday area. I have no advice because I'm feeling the same thing, but i think being a mother definitely intensifies the fear and that's completely normal. After this holiday I will stick to the UK until I feel comfortable to fly again.

 

[Babybump87]

I can totally relate to this . I suffer from occasional bouts of anxiety.

I am so heartbroken for all the victims, families and everyone else involved in mondays horrific arrack .

We had a trip into town planned travelling on the bus last night told MIL we were going to leave it . Just the thought of getting on the bus terrified me. We actually live in Liverpool so it really did strike a chord with me .

Its like you said unfortunately it's life as we know it and we can't let these people ruin or lives but then we have to take necessary precautions to keep our family safe . With half term coming up for most U.K. schools all we can do is keep our eyes and ears about us.

I pray we won't see another attack like this for a long time.

God bless the victims and their families xxxx

 

[lau86]

I think it's a bit too soon to make a big decision.

 

[LoveCakes]

I grew up in Northern Ireland so have always had the opinion don't let them stop you living your life. Take precautions obviously but you'd never leave the house if you wanted to be 100% safe. I know that's more about my mindset though so it's not as simple as that for you. These events are extremely high profile but extremely rare. You've a lot higher chance of being injured in the car on the way to the airport.

Could you go to France or somewhere via the Euro tunnel/ ferry or is that too close to the plane? Just as a stepping stone to building your confidence

If it's comforting at all most places are safer after an incident, there are a lot more police about and generally there's an increased vigilance over people being watched.

 

[SarahBear]

I grew up in Northern Ireland so have always had the opinion don't let them stop you living your life. Take precautions obviously but you'd never leave the house if you wanted to be 100% safe. I know that's more about my mindset though so it's not as simple as that for you. These events are extremely high profile but extremely rare. You've a lot higher chance of being injured in the car on the way to the airport.

Could you go to France or somewhere via the Euro tunnel/ ferry or is that too close to the plane? Just as a stepping stone to building your confidence

If it's comforting at all most places are safer after an incident, there are a lot more police about and generally there's an increased vigilance over people being watched.

I agree with the last part of this. Try out more road trips and other dose of transportation.

 

[biglebowski]

It must be so tough to have witnessed this atrocity happening in your home town. My heart breaks for all the families who were affected and whose future will be tinged with the memories of that day. I hope no one you know has been affected.
I am in Scotland but Ive been in that arena and it seems so close to home. I have been awake from early hours several nights this week contemplating how to keep our family safe. Ive taken comfort in the stark numbers of how rare these events are. I am due to go with my mum for a rare girly day to Glasgow on Sunday and I thought of cancelling. However the liklihood is Id be more likely to be in a road traffic accident than experience a terrorist event. They are trying to infringe on our enjoyment and way of life. Life is for living!! If there are more events I may rethink but I wont limit our way of life due to 1 hate filled young man.
I hope our political landscape doesnt fight hate with hate as I fear that will incite more violence. I am even more focused on raising a tolerant, peaceful boy who loves before he hates.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I would accept that going on holiday abroad isn't important enough to have to face this stress and worry and holiday in the UK/a European break you can drive to for now.

 

[Maddie_Sue]

ohhh I relate to this so much... I live in America and I just saw a news article stating that Las Vegas is an area that ISIS is hoping to attack within the next couple of months. We plan on going there for vacation in 2 weeks, but instead of excitement, I am just so anxious and worried. I know the odds of something like that happening to us are not great, but I also live VERY close to the San Bernardino area where there was a terrorist attack last Christmas. I know this kind of thing can, and does, happen ANYWHERE! scary world we live in these days... we just can't let our fear overcome us and our every day lives!!! My heart breaks and mourns for all affected by the Manchester attack... may we band together and unite against terrorism

 

[Boozlebub]

I know the feeling well. I live in Finland now but we have flights booked to return to the Uk for a holiday in July and it makes me so anxious to go. Not really the flying per say but the airports. But I want to go and see my family, I want my kids to see my family and I know they are so excited to see us so I can't cancel yet. But it keeps me awake at night. I've felt like this a few years now but when something happens like last week it really spikes my anxiety.

My heart goes out to the people caught up in that horrific event and hope that the people affected have the strength and love around them to pull through.

 

[kirstybumx3]

I've really struggled this week with wanting to do anything remotely involving taking Rio out. It's half term week approaching and I haven't even wanted to consider a day trip. I reluctantly went to our local big shopping mall yesterday and was on edge the whole time. I'm not usually like this.
If anything happens to me, I'm ok with that, what will be will be, but the thought of harm coming to my babies or them being left without parents absolutely terrifies me.
We shouldn't be allowing 'them' to make us feel this way, that's what they want. OH really isn't bothered at all about going places, he says that there's as much chance of walking out of the front door and getting struck by lightning (I'm sure the odds of that are way less at the moment but if it makes him feel better whatever!)
I get what he's saying and he's right that we should carry on as normal but I wish I could have that same mindset. Perhaps it's a mum thing.
I don't know what I'd do in your situation either, it's so difficult. We were going to Portugal in June but had to cancel our plans as I won't be allowed to fly so far pregnant. Now part of me is glad. However I am sad that we won't get to take Rio away before he starts school, he is getting older every day and these are days and memories we can't get back so we can't put our lives on hold forever because of some cowards trying to make us live in fear.
It's such a sad world we are bringing up our children in. X

 

[Quartz]

Actually the odds of lightening are far less than a terrorist attack around 250 people at least a year are hit by lightening in the US alone (with around a 10 per cent fatality rate). You are 16 times more likely to die from lightening (and that is die not be hit) than from a plane hit terrorist attack.

It's just so visually front and centre? In reality nothing has changed for the majority of us from .Monday itjusrseemsto our perceptions have changed

I was in London on 7/7 and the Westminster attack you can't let fear rule

 

[kirstybumx3]

See I don't walk around in fear of being struck by lightning, so I don't know why I fear being amidst a terror attack. It just feels more likely. It's such a shame it's affecting so many people in such a way.

 

[Zephram]

We haven't had any incidents of terrorism like this in New Zealand (cross fingers, what happened in Manchester is just horrible ), but I do understand the feeling of wanting to avoid doing things that might put your kids in danger.

It's not terrorism, but last November we had a 7.8 magnitude earthquake here that terrified more than I realised at the time, and then we dealt with aftershocks and quake damaged buildings for months afterwards. For a few weeks after the 7.8 I didn't go out much and I avoided completely the supermarket I always used to go to with the kids because they stacked pallets on top of the aisles - if you were in there in a big earthquake you'd get crushed to death, no doubt. Anyway, I was a SAHM at the time, but I went back to work in February and I work on the 6th floor of a high rise building was closed for a while after the quake to be assessed by engineers and it was deemed structurally sound, but there is still visible quake damage in the stairwells (cracked plaster, etc) and every time I walk down the stairs I just think 'coffin, coffin'. If we have another big quake while I'm at work I have a pretty real feeling that I'm going to die in that building. Argh.

So like I said, it's not terrorism, but after a traumatic event it is normal to feel scared for a while, but I can tell you the feeling will fade. And you can't stop living your life because of a 'what if'. The more time that goes between the quake and now the less I think about it and the less scared I am. I imagine the same will be true of what happened in Manchester. The fear will fade as time passes.

So don't cancel your holiday, it's highly unlikely anything will happen, and you'll end up having a good time.

 

[staralfur]

I think that as some others have mentioned it's still very fresh in your mind and will get easier as time goes on. I know that whenever I have a scare of some sort it feels like I'll never feel safe again but my mindset ends up shifting somewhere along the way without even noticing.

I also think it's important to keep in mind that bad things happen everywhere. I know that doesn't sound helpful, but you could stop doing things that you love and enjoy because it feels safer but then have a car smash through your front window while you're sitting at home. You just never know. So do what makes you happy. But give yourself time to adjust after big events.

We just got back from the States, and especially in Las Vegas the thought crossed my mind that it's probably vulnerable to some bad events, but we had a great a time and made wonderful memories and the feeling of being able to show my daughter new things totally trumped any fear I might have.

I also think as they get older they kind of pick up on our attitudes about things, you know? I'd hate for my daughter to be afraid to go out and see the world or have reservations about doing normal things because of fear, so I don't want to put that out there at all. But as I said, I think it's normal to be a bit more cautious and anxious when something like that is recent and hits close to home, so don't rush to get to a good place with it. Take small steps so you're comfortable enough to get there.

 

[petite ping]

I live in Paris and after each terrorist attack there is a period of anxiety and fear.

We try and put things into perspective and carry on as normal though we do make some adjustments in our lives and choices.

- I don't wear headphones on the metro anymore
- I don't wait for colleagues before checking in at the airport, I now check in immediately and wait for them at the boarding gate.
- We avoid obvious targets (so no visits to the champs elysee)

We have, on the otherhand, updated our wills and given some thought who we would want to raise our kids should something happen - not just because of the terrorist attacks but because OH and I travel for work.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think you should go BUT I have anxiety and I know how it rules you. I do have anxiety tablets and they have made me mellow. All I do is don't watch news, deleted FB and don't read news. Honestly I am so much less anxious about it all.

I think terrorism is awful but I was too scared to go anywhere until I took steps.

I don't like the cinema, theatres or stadiums and scared when my loved ones go but 9 times out of 10 I still go even when feeling anxious as it's such a waste of life to worry. My 2 eldest kids now how school trips to France etc and it's horrible xx