I don't want to die. that's a good news. But I am barely feeling alive now. I had a miscarriage on the 4th of april. I was aware it would go that way the day before and the ground just open beneath my feet. I had to go to emergency room in the early morning and have a curettage. Awful experience. Hell. I am still wondering why it happened. I am not comforted by the: there must have been something wrong with the baby or it happens to a lot of women in the first pregnancy... well my sister got two pregnancies and no miscarriage. my best friend too. well this also happens to many women right? well I'm not gonna vent here. It's just so recent I am still unable to know how I'm gonna heal this. let me introduce myself. I am an artist/poet/writer/photographer. I am a highly sensitive person. an empath. I have been through several depressive episodes in my life. But still I have been able to rise up thanks to hope and my beliefs. I guess I am what you call a fighter, though many just see a sullen woman, or the stereotyped depressive artist. I am a loner but I dream of a more social life, with friends here and now, but though I try meeting people I hardly click with others. Most of my truest friends live abroad. I am living one hour from Paris. and I am not enjoying living here. I wish I could go back living near my parents. hope to meet some lovely friendly women here!