No baby shower for me.

[Jeval323]

Just wondering if there are must haves over wants in terms of buying for baby. I mean, I know the basics.. I know she needs bottles, etc. I just mean, do I need to buy a high chair right now, a bassinet, rocker etc? Looks like there isn't enough people to have a shower for me. I mean, I lost touch with all my friends after high school except for 2 girls, and they are both struggling with money.. And my family consists of like 3 girls where I live, and the rest are out of state.. And my fiancé has no family. So, there is nobody to invite.

I'm very stressed suddenly over having to buy everything myself and this expense it will be. I know, I know.. Don't get pregnant if you can't afford to buy it all yourself.. I just remember how amazing my sisters baby shower was, and I just keep crying thinking about how I won't have that day

I'm sure it's hormones. Any advice I can get for the big purchases, I would appreciate. I'm so horribly stressed over this.

 

[medic9114fun]

I just had my shower and did a registry ect. I got a couple things from the registry but mostly things I got weren't on there.

You could still do a registry in case family out of state want to buy something online and have it sent to you.

I'd love I help you with what you still need but I'm currently struggling with the same thing lol

 

[xSweetTartx]

I'm so sorry hunny.
It will all work out in the end.

A great money saver is to look for things on Craigslist and Ebay.
You can save tons of money that way.

 

[SucreK]

Lucie's List has a great guide: https://www.lucieslist.com/

You have to create an account to see it, but it's free and you don't get spammed by her blog or anything.

Good luck!

 

[Shandelion]

I'm sorry you won't get a baby shower. I'm making ends meet for the baby via Craigslist, to be honest. You'd be shocked what shows up on the free section. I got a $300 travel system last week via the free section. Free cribs pop up every week. All the clothes I have come free from coworkers. I saw two baby bouncers free this week on Craigslist. I've seen free changing tables every week on Craigslist and freecycle-I got mine off the side of the road. My cloth diapers will most likely be formed from the softest towels I have.

And I don't believe you need a high chair. I've read that by the time they can sit up in a high chair, they can sit up in a booster seat just as well. Both are a ways down the road. I've seen a lot of people say they don't bother with cradles and bassinets and baskets...you just need a crib to contain baby, and lots won't sleep in anything else. As for rockers...free on Craigslist, but it can't be that essential, can it? In the end, all we need is to keep them warm and fed and secure in sleep. The rest is extra. We come with body heat, boobs and there's always someplace to sleep. You'll be okay From one first timer to another, good luck!

 

[LaraSue]

Yeah, I would still do a registry! I just had two surprise packages from a friend from college. He randomly found my registry and sent me some stuff off of it!! So, you never know. Plus you usually get a "clear my registry" coupon towards the end of the pregnancy so you can at least use the discount at that point.

Just try to do it a little at a time. There's no rule saying you can't just use the crib, and save the expense of the bassinet. You don't need a high chair right now ( I wouldn't think, FTM here myself). Look for consignment sales, church yard sales, or whatever also. I do have a high chair because I found one at a huge consignment sale for $25. I really wanted a rocker and probably would have splurged on one if my mom hadn't bought me one, but if you don't get one, no big deal. I'm sure some STM will have some better suggestions for you...

 

[Shandelion]

Ah ha, had to search for this one here was a thread I thought had good, realistic advice on needs versus wants.

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-second-trimester/2088567-ftm-must-haves.html

I did a forum search, here's another recent thread on the same

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...things-you-found-invaluable.html#post31259475

 

[Bcinla]

Try to join the local moms club. Moms club is all across the usa. Once you are a member of a local chapter you can participate in things like the semi annual clothing swap where you get to swap baby clothes for free. In my club if you dont have anything to swap, then each item is just a dollar. Also, moms are always selling baby gear, strollers. Etc, for really cheap. We also have this giant consignment sale in la called la kids consignment. It is amazing the bargans they have! Try to go to used kids clothing stores where they consign. You will find great prices for baby gear.

 

[Amalee]

I'll second the Craigslist suggestion! If you have a Salvation Army near you (or similar thrift store), take a look there too. I found a great glider at one for only $50 - it is beautifully made, and must have retailed for over $250. Baby items don't get a ton of use, so big buys like furniture will still be in pretty good condition when it's for resale.

 

[Shandelion]

Last but not least, here's a giant thread on needed versus useless items

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...our-unnecessary-essential-baby-purchases.html

 

[HoPiNg4AbAbY]

also, they have free groups in ur area? on facebook

 

[wannabenewmum]

Experienced mum ( well kinda) here all I found u need when baby's here is a way to transport baby ie sling travel system or pram with carrycot I had a carrycot pram last time which doubled up for night time use, cloth or disposable nappys, bottles clothes ( don't go too crazy they grow pretty fast ) a rocker but sometimes ur newborn car seat can have a rocker base for tempory use and bedding blankets sheets etc which if ur any good at knitting u cud make some of it, a crib or cot if u haven't got a carrycot a crib in uk last till 6 months a cot till they grow out of it our 2 yr old has just left his. a high chair not needed till 4-6 months dependant on when u wean in the end children thrive on love food and a clean bum, I too won't be getting a shower or any gifts my family just aren't like that

 

[babybaker2011]

Sorry to hear that you won't be having a shower. I'm not sure if they have one in your area, but 'Once Upon A Child' is a great place to buy gently used clothes & equipment for baby. Using Craigslist is always a good idea as well. Good luck!

 

[xxenigmaxx]

Babies need a lot less than most people think. If you nurse, you won't need any bottles. Diapers and wipes are a must, adn are the most expensive. Car seat is also the most expensive becuase you shouldn't get that second hand. However, there are a lot of nice ones under $100. Everything else you can easily get second hand. A few outfits or onesies, but honestly - they outgrow them sooo fast, you can get some really nice clothing from thrift stores. No one knows where you got them. I am not short on money, but I shop there all the time. I often find name brand clothing, retail for $20 to $40, for only a buck or two. A cheep baby bath is helpful. A baby bouncer is nice, but I found mine from cragslsit for $5. Some blankets are important. If you can find a used pack and play (or even new ones are not that much), you can use that as a basenette, changer (if it comes with the attachment )and as a crib until they are big enough for a toddler bed.

 

[Jeval323]

You all have been so incredibly helpful. Thank you so, so much.

 

[RunningMomOf3]

I'm sorry that you're not able to get the baby shower like your sister did. If you buy things on craigs list.. please be sure to do your research and check if the items have been recalled (crib) or expired (car seats). Another option is checking with church groups. They will have a parish "garage sale" and you can get all sorts of great deals on baby supplies. Get in touch with your local WIC group.. they usually will have all sorts of free stuff to give new parents in need. Get in touch with your hospital you will deliver at, and ask to speak to a Case Manager, which also should be able to help you find resources or may even get in touch with local agencies that will give you what you need... It's all out there, but you must do the work and make the calls... good luck.

Like someone else mentioned before, you still could try a registry and send out a pregnancy annoucement with a cute pic of you and your bump to all your family and friends that live out of state, far away with a note saying where you are registered and see what happens. You might be surprised Good luck...

 

[Amalee]

Another idea that might be helpful... If DH has some friends in the area as well, you could always do a Jack and Jill baby shower so you'll have a few more people and DH is more included. If your friends are all in a tight financial situation, you could always have a "build baby's library" shower - books are inexpensive, and kids go through them quickly when they're young! They only hold up so long when they're being tugged at and chewed, so you can never have too many books

 

[Jeval323]

My mom bought me a crib, changing table, dresser and car seat already so I'm moving right along here. I just won't go 2nd hand on anything that can compromise my baby girls safety. I'm not putting down people who do, don't get me wrong. Just not for me.

I just didn't know how important all the extra expensive stuff is. Like a rocking chair in her room and stuff. How often is that used?

 

[Amalee]

Some people don't end up using rocking chairs at all. I've never had a baby before, but babysitting, I've seen some nurseries with just a wicker chair by the crib or something.

 

[Jonesy25]

Im in the uk so we dont really do a 'shower'....no one has bought anything for baby so far apart from ny mother in law!!