No milk after 12 weeks?

[Dream.dream]

That's irresponsible bordering on child a use if it's true an I agree that if it isn't true she shouldn't be telling people that as it's dangerous

 

[HKateH]

Don't worry ladies, I have never had any intention of listening - our parenting styles are pretty different!

I'm positive she's not lying though, and the weird part is, she's actually a really good mum to three healthy, lovely mannered, bright boys! It is ridiculous though - my worry is, as one if you said, long term damage.

I wouldn't call her out on it as it's done. Perhaps at the time (although that was five years ago and I was clueless about parenting) but not now, there's no point - it'd simply cause resentment. Like I said, I think she thinks I'm odd for feeding on demand, BLW and other choices I'll likely make in the future!

It does sound so far fetched (I wouldn't believe it), but she isn't the lying type and I'm certain this is, worryingly, true!

 

[Nela]

My own mother did this with my brother. He is her 3rd child so it's not like she knew nothing or anything. For some reason, she couldn't manage to breastfeed (we were all breastfed) him because he had a voracious appetite so she put him on formula. For some reason, all he did was cry and screamed. She was in and out of the doc's with him constantly ut nothing they tried worked. Exasperated, she decided to try what no one would try and weaned him. He was right about 3 months then. Went on to straight cow's milk, danone, cheese, etc. She did load him up on vitamins to compensate for those he'd have gotten in the formula. He's 19 and perfectly healthy, healthier than my sister and I, even. Would I do it? No. I don't think so at least. However, I also know that when nothing is working and your child isn't right, you're pretty much willing to do anything for them. Would I consider it child abuse? Absolutely not and I hate when people throw that around so much. I do not understand WHY your SIL thinks that's perfectly healthy and why she made that decision for her kids, whereas I understand better with my mother as I do remember how bad my brother was, but I have seen it work so perhaps I am less jumpy about it myself. Like I said, I wouldn't do it myself and I am sure there are valid reasons as to why it's not recommended, but sometimes, there are a lot more gray areas than we think.

 

[HKateH]

My own mother did this with my brother. He is her 3rd child so it's not like she knew nothing or anything. For some reason, she couldn't manage to breastfeed (we were all breastfed) him because he had a voracious appetite so she put him on formula. For some reason, all he did was cry and screamed. She was in and out of the doc's with him constantly ut nothing they tried worked. Exasperated, she decided to try what no one would try and weaned him. He was right about 3 months then. Went on to straight cow's milk, danone, cheese, etc. She did load him up on vitamins to compensate for those he'd have gotten in the formula. He's 19 and perfectly healthy, healthier than my sister and I, even. Would I do it? No. I don't think so at least. However, I also know that when nothing is working and your child isn't right, you're pretty much willing to do anything for them. Would I consider it child abuse? Absolutely not and I hate when people throw that around so much. I do not understand WHY your SIL thinks that's perfectly healthy and why she made that decision for her kids, whereas I understand better with my mother as I do remember how bad my brother was, but I have seen it work so perhaps I am less jumpy about it myself. Like I said, I wouldn't do it myself and I am sure there are valid reasons as to why it's not recommended, but sometimes, there are a lot more gray areas than we think.

I fully agree with you there. It's easy to judge when you don't know the whole picture. I'll admit, I catch myself judging all the time and have to reason that I don't know the circumstances. A lot of our generation were weaned early as that's just what was done. I wasn't weaned super early but my parents certainly didn't wait until six months and I have no digestive issues or allergies whatsoever.

However, in this case, there was no reason for weaning off milk early except for a hungry baby. My kid is a right pig but it seems bizarre that you wouldn't keep feeding milk and supplement with solids when they're ready. I was forever making bottles and my husband and I were like "Surely he's not hungry again?!" so now we're on two nutritious meals a day and snacks, feeding times have stretched out significantly.

 

[felix555]

To call this child abuse is completely ignorant.

 

[Sarah125]

Wow that's crazy. I have heard of people starting solids early but never stopping milk like that.

At first I thought she was really old and had forgotten the timings in which weaning occurred but she isn't that old!

The worst thing is when these people try to get you to follow these crazy practises and give others awful 'advice.'

Sounds like you are doing the right thing by ignoring her

 

[Babybear85]

My mil started my husband on evaporated milk at 4 months as her milk dried up and she says 33 years ago they didn't have much choice of formula. He would only drink evaporated milk apparently lol. Strange. But it seems very odd to wean that soon I imagine she gave cows milk in a bottle still and is being a bit over the top

 

[Babybear85]

Just to add my eldest nearly two would only drink 10oz formula a day before weaning. He didn't loose weight and gained well I just couldn't get him to take any more than that day or night he just didn't want it. Little monkey bizarrely he loves milk now and still asks for 18oz a day lol

 

[HKateH]

To call this child abuse is completely ignorant.

No, it certainly isn't 'child abuse'.

 

[aliss]

To intentionally deprive a very young baby of essential nutrition would be considered neglect, yes.

There is a HUGE difference between "weaning early" (most of us born in the 70s-80s were weaned well before 3 months) and actually giving a 3 month old so much food that they no longer take in any milk/formula. That's not "weaning", that's outright taking away the MAIN form of nutrition. "Weaning" is just that - weaning - which is a very slow process that can take a year or two or more.

Giving some yogurt to a 3 month old is ill-advised but hardly "abuse", however not providing the main milk nutrition to a 3 month is certainly considered neglectful to a child's health. There is a reason we don't pull out a jug of milk from the grocery store for a newborn.

There are plenty of people who grew up on carnation milk, oat sludge, whatever because it was the thing to do or mother couldn't breastfeed, and they certainly didn't turn out fine. Desperate women will try anything, I know that I've been there, but this isn't a case of desperation in the OP.

 

[Rachel_C]

Definitely neglect, whether down to weird ideas about parenting/nutrition or just plain stupidity. Her children may be bright now but who knows what they could have been, given the proper nutrition? The what if game isn't normally something I play but in something this extreme I think she should be thinking long and hard about it.

 

[Celesse]

Apparently my OH "gave up his bottles" at around 3 or 4 months. Just started flat our refusing them. Ofc MIL comes from the school of thought of wean them at a week old and shove rusks in the bottle which you've widen the teat of to make them sleep. My thoughts where always, well you must have been giving him something else for him to "drop" his bottles so young. She once told me she gave him the liquid off vegetable soup in a bottle to try and get him some nutrients. **facepalm**

OH has spent most of his life over weight, skin isn't the best, no allergies thank goodness, but I'm sure his very early weaning didn't help.

Just to add I never listen to MIL on anything child related ever.

 

[HKateH]

To intentionally deprive a very young baby of essential nutrition would be considered neglect, yes.

There is a HUGE difference between "weaning early" (most of us born in the 70s-80s were weaned well before 3 months) and actually giving a 3 month old so much food that they no longer take in any milk/formula. That's not "weaning", that's outright taking away the MAIN form of nutrition. "Weaning" is just that - weaning - which is a very slow process that can take a year or two or more.

Giving some yogurt to a 3 month old is ill-advised but hardly "abuse", however not providing the main milk nutrition to a 3 month is certainly considered neglectful to a child's health. There is a reason we don't pull out a jug of milk from the grocery store for a newborn.

There are plenty of people who grew up on carnation milk, oat sludge, whatever because it was the thing to do or mother couldn't breastfeed, and they certainly didn't turn out fine. Desperate women will try anything, I know that I've been there, but this isn't a case of desperation in the OP.

No it wasn't. She didn't ever breast feed so there were no supply issue and with it being about 2008, there was a plethora of nutritious formulas to choose from. It was simply a case of, as Aliss said, giving the baby so much solid food that they were too full for milk. I'm not sure why... Perhaps bottles were inconvenient as she has sympathised with me before (when my son was newborn) about having to plan your life around feeds. Having said that, babies can't just skip breakfast or lunch like most of us do sometimes when we're too busy, so there's still a fair bit of rigidity there. I don't get it!

 

[sillysapling]

There are people who make their own formula using either goat's or cow's milk (there are other options as well) IN ADDITION TO things similar to what's in commercial formula so that the baby gets everything they need. Either because their babies just don't do well on any commercial formula, belief about the safety of it over commercial formula, etc. What Nela's mother did sounds similar to this. It doesn't sound like what she did, though.

I don't get why she did it, either.

 

[Wilsey]

My mum's supply dried up when I was 3 months and doctors advised cows milk with a teaspoon of sugar!!! So I got that from 3 months old. But that was a while ago and there are excellent substitutes for us to use these days!

Just would never have crossed my mind to stop supplying some kind of milk to my child.