No-one to talk to and in a real mess ...

[MrsP2be]

I'm 33 weeks and am having a boy. Have really struggled with GD , and like most of us , it's difficult to talk about things without being judged , told to stop being selfish , and made to feel even worse than I do already.

My sister is being induced tomorrow , and is having a little girl. I am absolutely dreading the next couple of days. I feel so much resentment towards my sister and I hate myself for it. What's even harder, is having to go through things on your own and having to keep those feelings locked away as I don't want to upset anyone else. Bottling things up isn't ideal , but like we all know , it's not the easiest thing to able to talk about , so sometimes it's the only option.

I am trying so hard to cope with my feelings but this has really knocked me sidewards. I knew this day would come and I thought I'd be ok with it , but all the negative thoughts and stuff are back again.

I'm going to be an auntie and I should be overjoyed , for my sister and also waiting for her baby's arrival. I feel anything but and I would do anything to change how I feel.

Sorry for rambling on , but I needed to vent somewhere. GD is probably the most vile and cruel thing to have to go through.

 

[karlilay]

It really is

Its a lonely place, is this your first baby?

 

[MrsP2be]

No , I have a 16 year old son. Didn't think I'd ever have the chance to have another baby so feel so lucky that I fell pregnant again.

Totally love being pregnant , and love my little fella growing inside me but desperately long for a girl. I love my eldest son dearly , but also wanted a girl back then. Was adamant i was having a girl when I was pregnant with him ( at the time , the hospital where I had my scan wouldn't tell you the gender )

 

[blinkava]

I know exactly how you feel hun, we found out 9 weeks ago that we are expecting our 3rd boy after hoping and "having feelings" that we were finally having our girl. Even though I kind of gotten over it, my husband has been hit hard with GD and he won't admit it but he has been so different this pregnancy and distant. I hope everything turns around for you when you see your little man, and no one says you can't spoil your niece as if she was your own the best part about being a aunt is being able to send them home at the end of the day lol.